So my sister is not coming to my wedding....

And to top it off the wedding is 5 minutes from her house. It was set up to be there because it meant we could get ready at her house then head over. I had been working on getting a limo booked from her house to the venue. She had offered to have my nephews move tables around after the ceremony for the reception...but guess that is not going to happen either. She threw a huge wrench in the works. I told her "It hurts my feelings but it is what it is. Have fun. We will figure it out." and being that she knows me she should know the exact meaning of the words. Then I asked her today if she could call over and get the place reserved for an extra two hours so we can just get ready over there....and she never even responded to the text.

She knows that this is the right one. For the first time all of the family likes that guy that I am marrying. Hell, they even told me that if anything ever happened they would divorce me and keep him. He is a wonderful man and has done everything he can to try and build a relationship with them. Unfortunately my family is full of not very nice people. My brother and his wife aren't coming either because my brother had a falling out with my mother.

I understand that you're hurt, and I think you should be--but saying something other than what you really mean and expecting her to decode it is just asking for trouble. You may well be right that she'll know what you meant--but she can always pretend that she didn't. It's much more productive to say what you actually mean, so that no one can pretend they didn't know.

Well if I do tell her exactly how I feel about it I will just have to hear what a drama queen I am being and how it shouldn't matter.

Sending her a text message that says "it is what it is" sounds, to me, like you're saying, "Whatever. It doesn't matter." If this is really important to you that she's there you need to tell her. If you act like it's no big deal, she's going to treat it like it's no big deal.

Sorry if I sound a little forward, I totally don't know your entire situation. But when you have a problem you need to communicate clearly with the other person otherwise there's just misunderstandings and resentment. I hope you figure out what's best for you.

I would be very hurt! First that she would ask in a text, seems a little cold, and second that she would put salmon fishing over your wedding! Another great price on fishing will come up again, but you will only have one wedding! I would tell her you would be very hurt. If my step sister even did that i would be very mad and very hurt, and she is not real blood, you already won't have your brother there, your sister should be sensitive to that. With your wedding you have a right to be a little selfish and want the people you love there no matter what!!

I asked her if she is mad at me and she said "No, why?" and I told her that i was just trying to figure out why with so much notice on the date they were so suddenly going to go fishing rather than come to my wedding. I said that i know it isn't my first weddiing but still....

Apparently the rest of the story is that her husband has had a couple cancer scares recently and he does have bladder cancer and is continually having the polyps removed. Her father (we have different dads) died from lung cancer. Our grandfather had bladder cancer and it was a contributing factor to his death. So this is a price they can afford with cost sharing and it happens to be when my carefully planned wedding is. The thing that bugs me even more now is that my brother in law of 20 years has had all this going on and my sister of 32 years doesn't ever talk to me or tell me what is going on. So if she had said that her hubby has cancer and has always wanted to go on a Salmon Fishing expedition and she can do this for him that would have been one thing. How does a sister not tell her sister these things??? How is it that all her friends know and she goes to them and never even talks to me.....Gods I am even more upset now.

Ok so from her mouth he is fine. It is just that they got invited and they want to go. Not that it is something important. Just a "Hey we get the chance to do this and well, who cares my little sister is getting married" I am beyond furious.

Wow. Well, I would tell her that even though SHE feels we have nothing in common she is still my sister so not only am I hurt but I am hurt beyound words and nothing she is currently saying is making me feel any better so why not she just leave her foot currently where it is (in her mouth) and don't mention any more how unimportant she mis making me feel.

Thats total bs, you have every right to be mad. i am mad for you!

I haven't read the previous posts but I understand what you are going through. About 3 days before my wedding my sister calls me at work and says "Hey, your wedding is this Friday, right?" Yes! "How mad would you be if I didn't go?" Silence. "It's because ______ husband can hook me up with backstage DMX tickets." My responce, "If you can't go, that's fine. I will still be there and I will still be getting married. I'm really busy at work and I need to let you go." I'm sorry I know it hurts and it's pretty crappy on her part to even say it to you but just remember that you are still going to get married. Oh and DS brother didn't show up either. It hurts, of course but you can't let it ruin your day. You will still have a great day and that day is all about you. Whoever can not oblidge by that then they shouldn't be there.

Okay, I can't help but be a negative nelly but...is there any reason to believe here that she may be against your wedding for any reason? I'm just saying because..I can't imagine any of my sisters missing my wedding unless they were against who me getting married to FS. If not...is this anniversary a big one? 10th, 25th, 50th, etc?

Because if they only want to go because they're getting an incredible deal, to me that's lame. Incredible deals come and go ALL the time...you sister's wedding is a once in a lifetime thing. If this was me, I would be livid and say, "If you miss my wedding, you are dead to me!!!" lol But that's just me..I'm melodramatic and I expect family attendance at my wedding.

If you won't want to be that brutally honest..still express your feelings..don't let her get away with this without at leas letting her know how it's making you feel. Sorry hun. Hope she comes to her senses.

What is the other reason?

There is no other reason. Just that they got a great deal. Their kids are almost grown. She actually said to me "We got invited, it is not like we set the schedule". This is the same woman who posts all the time on her facebook about how her friends are the family god let her pick for herself and she thanks god everyday for her self created family. Like she doesn't need me when she has all her girlfriends. Whatever. I am so angry with her. On the plus side, one month till my wedding!!