So..we got kicked out of a wedding reception...I think?!

We made our way down to the ballroom where the reception was being held. I noticed several Amish families on our walk to the reception. We walked in, signed the guest book and found our seat. I noticed I was getting stare downs like you wouldn't believe. Everyone there was Amish. Women and men were giving me the death look – seriously… it was nuts-and scary-and weird. I then realize I am one of two women at this reception who isn’t completely covered, head to toe. I had on a simple black dress, tea length with cap sleeves – a cute necklace and a simple bracelet and earrings. My outfit was not flashy or risqué, or blingy or anything. Super simple. More death stares coming my way….

What seemed like an hour passed, but it was really only about 5 minutes – and a woman walked up to me and asked that I “cover myself”. Wait – what?! Cover myself? I mean, how dare I allow people to see my lower leg, ankle, and my elbows. Holy crap! What?! In shock – we left. Luckily there is an outlet mall approx. 10-15 minutes away. I shopped like a mad woman and bought black slacks, black flats, and a ¾ sleeved black dress top. I threw this on, took off all of my jewelry, and we returned to the reception. By this time, the meal had been served. We found our seat again, and had a cupcake. (Adorned with a fondant pig cutout on top – appropriately matching the wooden pig centerpieces, and pig décor throughout the reception). I was still noticing stares from people.

The groom made his way to us later and thanked us for coming & introduced us to his bride. We had a good chat. We of course made no mention of what had happened prior and just congratulated them. He made no mention of the obvious, that his wife was part of the Amish community. We went about the night…. WAIT – it gets better!!!! So there we were, just sitting at our table. We didn’t know anyone else at this wedding, literally. We didn’t dance, we didn’t do anything but sit at our table and eat cupcakes and these yummy pig shaped sugar cookies. I had already been asked to change my attire, and the entire thing was just weird --so I didn’t want to draw attention by dancing or partaking in any alcoholic beverages. (God forbid)

At 8pm, as I’m eating like pig sugar cookie #4, the same lady that originally asked me to “cover myself”, came to where we were sitting and said, “It be best if you start making your way home now…” WHAT THE EFF?!? Huh? First I have to buy a new outfit, and now – I’m being asked to leave? Are we being kicked out? Or what?! WHY?! By this point- I’m just done. So we went back to our room and downed a bottle of wine and went to bed. I was humiliated and just in shock. So freaking awkward!!

So here comes my question…. - How in the HELL were we to know this was an Amish wedding?! Would you have done anything differently? We didn't know the Groom’s fiancé, we had NO idea this was an Amish “event”. The invitations were average wedding invites, and there was no “dress code” info included. Had I known that ankles and elbows couldn't be exposed, I would have not worn a dress. The entire thing was so weird. I’m confident the Groom knew none of this transpired, and I never want him to. At least those pig cookies were yummy……

That is so bizarre. I can't even imagine... How could they not have told people? I don't think I would have gone back after they asked me to change my dress. Honestly though, that woman may have just been one of "those" relatives people on here always complain about.

You are a saint for going and buying another outfit on the fly and then returning to the wedding. Seriously.

I don't know a lot about the Amish, but I'm confused. The groom is not amish? Or he is now? Where were the rest of this family members who are "English" (as they call non-Amish)? I didn't think that they could marry outside of their culture/faith without being shunned so the whole thing is confusing to me. He absolutely should have given you a heads up about what the protocol was.

Wait what? that's super weird....were you two the only non-amish people there? Is your friend joining his wife's amish community? how'd they even meet? How did he not think that was relevant information to share with you? That's super awkward, and rude of that lady who took it upon herself to shame you like that. After the first comment I would have left and not come back. Was she part of the brides family or something? Sorry that happened to you! I'd be livid.

@ Jackie - I know - had we not driven nearly 2 hours, and actually found a sitter and been excited about "getting away" for the weekend - I would have just left and gone home. What a mess!

I would've told her to kick rocks and stayed right damn there. That is insane. Was this the mother of the bride or something? Were none of his friends or family there?

That is so weird... You're a saint for changing and even leaving. I don't think I would have been so nice about the situation. Was his family not there??

WOW I have been to Amish weddings before as we own a cabin in an Amish town and we interact with them regularly and EVERY invite it states that Amish approved attire is appreciated. If someone shows up dressed "differently" they are never turned away as long as your boobs arent all hanging out. That wasnt a good call on the Amish ladies part and im sorry you had to deal with that!! She must be old fashioned in her ways and most likely the mother or aunt of the bride.

So weird, was this at a normal wedding venue? i always imagined that they had backyard weddings for some reason

Janeen you and I are on the same page.

But really, there are a ton of questions about this wedding!

I don't even know what to say. That's bizarre and rude, different culture or not.

Wow!! How awful. I can't believe you went and bought a new outfit mid-reception! Didn't the groom have any other friends / family there who were also non-Amish?

You didn't do anything wrong. There was no way you could have known about the "dress code" without being informed in advance.

That is the craziest thing I've heard in a while. I second what Janeen said, you are amazing for even going back!! I'm not sure how I would have handled that. What a waste of time & money for you, only to feel bad in the end...I'm so sorry this happened!

Yeah I'm confused as well about where all of the "English" people were. Like did you get to see his sister and family again?

So the Groom was NOT Amish when I knew him - his family isn't Amish. The area we live in does have a fairly large Amish community, and definitely where his hometown is, they are more predominate. I really don't know much about marrying into or out of that religion - and he is maybe the last person I EVER would have thought to do this - but apparently I was wrong. I'm assuming the lady that asked me to leave was part of the Bride's family. I didn't see his family there - AT ALL. And none of our mutual friends were there - we knew no one but the groom. All so strange.

Wow! did they ask the other lady to leave too?

Wow! I think you were awesome at going shopping for another outfit and staying as long as you did. I understand cultural differences, but this was kind of bizarre...

it was very rude of the guest to say something to you, but it was probably the case of a "nosy aunt." Were other people heading out when she told you to leave?

I know generally you're not supposed to bother the bride and groom, but I think the questions would kill me to much not to! I might send a message or card to groom and say you had a lovely time but you wish you would have known about the dress code and hopefully you didn't offend anyone.

Edit: I agree with MoonRide that I'm kinda confused about the Amish barnyard wedding. Where I'm from, she'd be shunned for marrying an outsider and the wedding would never be a fancy affair.

So the groom and his family were not Amish born or raised? And they compiled with the Amish traditions to please her family? Sounds like a one sided marriage, unless of course he is completely at peace with entering this culture. I'm surprised the community allows for one to marry outside the culture to be honest. Mind you, I do not know a lot about the Amish ways.

It's a bit unusual that they did not include any information regarding the restrictions in place for the reception; that's on them not you.

Edit: Just read your comment about his family not being there.

I wonder if he has had a falling out with his family and close friends recently if you didn't see anyone you knew.