So..we got kicked out of a wedding reception...I think?!

Wow, that is very strange...I grew up and now live in Amish/Mennonite country and know a bit about their customs and traditions...if the bride was Amish and the groom was converting, I'm pretty sure there would not have been "normal" invitations sent out as it's a pretty close community and I think only those in the particular church can come. And if they weren't staying Amish, then there shouldn't have been an issue. No way that I know of that you could have done something differently/better!

The cookies sound good lol

More Iowa chicks are poppin out of the wood works!! yayyy! @Kat88 I'm sorta kinda close to you!

Let's do it! Tanger sounds like a good place for me! Too bad I can't get my hands on a few of those delicious pig cookies to bring

I'm a part time Iowa girl, I guess lol . I live in Illinois but work about a week a month in Des Moines.

This has got to be the weirdest most awkward story. I would never go change and probably would've gotten into an argument with the rude woman. You are a saint!

Unfortunately Grooms are sometimes clueless about what information they should pass on. When an old friend of mine was getting married in Philadelphia, I called to ask him what the wedding colors were because I had found this gorgeous royal purple long dress and it was a popular wedding color at the time. He said some sort of blue. I show up at the wedding in my lovely purple dress.....and it's almost the same shade of purple as the bridesmaids dresses, I felt terrible. :/

Makes you wonder what happened at the top secret, family only wedding ceremony.

I don't understand this reception. There was alcohol and dancing? What kind of music was played? Did anyone dance? While I think you were incredibly tolerant by going out and buying a new outfit, I know I wouldn't have done that. I would have taken the linen napkin off the table, put it on my lap, and said, "How's that?". Would I have stayed the whole time? I probably would have. I find those rare, freaky situations some of the most interesting.

If you can contact his sisters (the groom's), maybe you should. It would be nice to know what you just experienced and why you weren't warned. The traveling you did, the expenses you incurred, and the in your face rudeness is unacceptable. But I guess it doesn't matter if you hurt and humiliate people as long as your body is completely covered.

@Centerpiece - there was alcohol and there was a DJ and SOME people were dancing, but very few. I just knew I wasn't about to get on that dance floor and be singled out again! haha. They did the chicken dance, the hokey pokey, some of that stuff, and then mainly country music. I'm torn about asking about the entire situation. I don't want to spark up hurt feelings with his family (I'm assuming there are hard feelings, since they weren't at the reception) - and I for sure don't want him to know what we went through at the reception. Heck, maybe for all he knows, we came, and then we left somewhat early. So weird....so weird!

Anybody else completely baffled by the pig decor?

I would have told the woman to go fuck herself and stayed at the wedding. There is no way I would have let anyone tell me I wasn't aloud to wear an outfit, especially if there wasn't a dress code. It would be one thing if the bride or groom asked you to change, but some random person did. Yaa no!

I would have asked the lady why she asked me to leave after I went through all the trouble to change just because she asked you to. That was very considerate of you to Ayer to her wishes, and then she still asked you to leave?! Yikes!! So sorry you had to go through that! So lame!! I'd ask the couple what the deal was...that's just weird(not the culture, as I try to stay open to everyone's cultural differences, but the circumstance was weird)!

Yay for Iowa girls! I wonder if they sell those cookies anywhere in the colonies...they sound delicious!

That's true Jamie. I would still be so curious. The whole thing just baffles me, I would have the need to get a hold of someone and figure out what the hell went down lol.

@Sarahdell holy shit thanks for the flash back!

You're good because I would have just left the first time I was asked and not came back and explained it to the groom later. That was considerate of you to even go shop and get another outfit. I feel like the lady should have just said "your not welcome here," and be point blank honest.

Yeah, you're a saint for buying new clothes and going back. I don't care how good a friend, I think I would have just left.

As for finding out more details, I would totally ask one of his family members - either his sister or his parents. Obviously something happened, or they would have been at the wedding. Let them know you're not trying to stir up trouble, but that you were there at the reception and you were confused by what happened.

I wouldn't speak to him directly about it, though. Let him think his wedding went well. But I would be way too curious to not ask someone about it. So I say go with the sister. But phrase it in a way that they know you're just trying to figure some things out and not trying to cause any issues.

I'm just wondering if you saw anyone at this reception who was connected to the groom (I know his family wasn't present, but what about a friend?). Is it at all possible that there was another reception -- maybe scheduled on another date for his family and friends -- and your name got put on the wrong list? I've reread your post several times (and your follow up posts), I am truly baffled. Did you speak to the groom at all -- even to say goodnight? Did he even see you there?

Also I'm wondering about the invitation. Did it state where the private ceremony was held (that would help in determining what kind of group he's involved with. I'm beginning to believe they're an independent off-shoot of the Amish or the Mennonites -- there are lots and lots of branch groups who have split from more established groups)? Actually, this is really quite fascinating (I'm still sorry you made such an effort and spent so much to attend). Oh, last question -- gifts. Did you see a gift table or a place to leave envelopes?

And Lawmom -- yes, I was wondering about the pig decor, but the story got so big that I forgot about them. A pig cake topper is cute, but that's probably as much pork as you want in your decor -- a little goes a looooong way.

Yeah. Amish people HATE us..(the english) They think we are always underdressed. BUT If her family is Amish and HIS family is not, you'd think there would be more people on your side. Its also weird because Amish usually despise confrontation and do everything to avoid it. Maybe if you would have pushed a little she would have backed down. But you did the right thing. My gf would have probably done the same thing. Not me though. I would have ruined a wedding and told her off. lol

This whole thread has me scratching my head. I would have thought that I turned up at the wrong reception. I can't believe you left and got a new outfit and came back. I would have either just sat there or left right away. If it was a cash bar or not, I can't believe there was one at all. Were the people drinking in English clothes? Is it normal for Amish or Mennonite people to have a wedding in a ballroom? That seems odd to me, the only time I have seen any of the Amish in our area are the teenagers out for Rumspriga and are allowed to roam around English country. Even then they are noticeable by their still Amish clothes, (or English but very modest clothes) but by the way they speak and their behavior, they are fascinated by everything. I worked at a cookie shop in the mall when I was a teenager and a group of them came around once and they were taking pictures with a wind up disposable camera of the cookie cakes with cartoon characters on them. So I can't imagine seeing them having a wedding in a ballroom with alcohol even being offered. Either way, your situation is so strange. That lady was super rude, as was your friend for not informing you of the situation.

I can't believe that lady had the balls to confront you like that. I see plenty of people who's attire I don't agree with, but I would never insult them by asking them to cover just because I don't like it. Also, not her party, not her place to ask you to leave. I am flabbergasted by her nerve.

Oh my you must be the best guest ever! I would have never returned.

Wow, this is insane. You truly are a saint for going to buy a new outfit and returning. I'm so curious as to why they would ask you to leave after you had already gone to change....so bizarre.