Soo is it inappropriate to ask for money/ gift cards?

Yes, it is inappropriate to ask for money. Your guests know money is a good gift. Since you have some items you would like to upgrade you can make a small registry and your guests will gift money when the items run out.

It’s inappropriate to ask for any kind of gift. If you don’t want/need physical gifts, skip the registry. People know cash is a good gift without being told.

I agree, just don’t do a registry and people will give cash or gift cards.

View Quoted Comment So I'm hearing, don't register as it will "imply" they give money??

So it'sa more passive way of asking? I don't need anything.

FH and I already live together so we have most everything we need. I wanted to do a honeymoon fund originally but decided against it. So we'll be using our registry to upgrade on kitchenware, bedding, towels, etc. Also adding some home décor, luggage, even board games or silly stuff like that just for fun. I would not explicitly ask for money, as people take that the wrong way. Some people prefer to give cash anyways, so I'm sure a good bit of your guests would still just give a card with a check/cash inside.

So pretty much passively ask by not asking just don't register :-)

View Quoted Comment

Right, you can also pass the info by word of mouth. Your guests will ask your parents what to get you for your wedding. You can have them say something along the lines of, "they have all the housewares they need they are just saving for the honeymoon."

It’s inappropriate to ask for money. You can just not register and people will take the hint.

I just wouldn't register at all, people will give cash. Things like gift cards won't help with business or real estate investments anyway. I wouldn't ask specifically for money and I'd skip having a shower at all.

I have a small registry but my step grandmother offered to host a gift card bridal shower for me. I live across the country and can’t transport gifts. I was not comfortable with a lingerie shower. Zola is set up to ship actual gifts but only one person bought anything off my Zola registry. Everyone else loved getting a simple gift card or just gave me cash (which I didn’t openly ask for). Some people didn’t bring anything at all which is totally fine. I did not open cash and gifts cards in front of everyone but we had a fun party with games and food, and I sent out thank you notes within 2 days. You will get a lot of negativity about it on here but honestly it was no big deal. People liked the convenience.

We had a small registry for people who wanted to give us physical gifts (all upgrades or nice to haves) and didnt announce it other than having it on our website.
We ended up with several thousands in cash/checks without asking for handouts.

Registries are traditional in many communities, going back many decades. It's absolutely fine not to have one and there's no passive aggressive message implied by NOT having one. People are just offering their experiences that not having a registry means people will often just give money. Money is also a traditional gift in many communities, going back many decades.

Mostly, it's better not to focus so much on what your honored guests will give you and just enjoy planning your wedding. Do most wedding guests give gifts? Yes, and that's lovely. But your planning will be much less stressful if you try not to worry or micromanage that.

This is a great question. FH and I also live together and don’t need anything. I’d like a new vacuum but really...? LOL! And I don’t want to ask for money as I feel it’s kind of rude in a way.