Special needs sis in wedding...

Can she do a reading? maybe a bible verse or a poem

Not well enough to do that, she can be hard to understand too. Good suggestion tho!

Could she perhaps meet you at the beginning of your walk down the aisle, and hand you a single rose or whatever type of flower you chose?

I"m all for making her a part, and this would allow her that moment.

My sons going to be the town crier

He will walk down right before me and ring a bell basically to let everyone know im on my way maybe she could do something like that kind of to start things off then she could go sit back with your parents

She could be a bridesmaid- just instead of standing with the rest she could sit after the walk done the aisle.

The only reason I'm leaning towards her not being a BM is cause I don't want her to feel left out when my other BM's and I do things together. Plus, I'm pretty sure she'd hate being in a dress the entire time. I thought about having her sit down after walking down the isle, but I think having her just have a special moment will be good enough for her. Plus, if she were to come with us looking at dresses and what not, once she's ready to go... she's ready to go! Will whine and make it a miserable time until we leave lol. Not fun

@Just Lizzie- I like that idea! I could put both of yours and Suzanne's idea together.

I like the flower idea. Can I ask, what are her limitations and what are some of the things that she likes to do and does well? Does she have a short attention span or does she get focused on one thing for a long period of time, etc.? I used to work with people who have disabilities and whenever we tried to get them involved in activities of any sort, we tried to plan things around what they were good at, and also what their attention spans were lol.

Yeah i like suzanne and lizzie ideas my sis has a daughter who has autism and i want to do something with her too cuz all the other kids are going to be in the wedding one way or another. Good luck

@Missy- she's autistic and definitely has some OCD. She can have a short attention span but if someone looks at her the wrong way or says something that pisses her off, she'll go nuts. AKA- my dad. I don't know what it is about him but almost everything he does irritates her, so she will NOT be sitting next to my parents. I'll probably have her favorite worker sit with her which will make things calm. Luckily it's only a 20-30 min ceremony but lord only knows what could happen.

How about having her do something simple like carry a "Here comes the bride" banner down the aisle right before you come down? She would still feel included in the ceremony and is walking down the aisle like everyone else.

How is she at singing? A song could be taught to her in advance, so she wouldn't be having to read anything.

Also, does she want an "all eyes on her" moment? I ask only because my son, who has an autism spectrum disorder, absolutely hates having all eyes on him. He nearly turned down our request for him to be one of our attendants, because he doesn't like feeling conspicuous in public. Only when we explained that the "public" would be limited to a dozen people, most of whom were blood relatives, did he agree.

The wedding I was in a couple of years ago, the bride had her special needs sister as the flower girl. She was older than flowers girl usually are but that let her be a part of the wedding. And after she walked down the aisle she was able to sit down. Something to think about if you already don't have a flower girl.

My sister's husband's cousin (cousin-in-law? lol) has special needs, and they wanted to involve her. She was the "Bible bearer."

Not sure if your ceremony is religious or not, but this might be a good idea. Before the flower girl, she walked down the aisle holding a Bible and brought it to the pastor. Then she sat down with her mom on a row closest to a door. She started making some noise and getting upset during the ceremony, so they just exited out the door without anyone noticing.

I also have a little sister who is special needs. She is going to be my MOH. I figured that she will never get this opportunity with anyone else, and I could make the sacrifice. My older sister has been helping her with a lot of the planning and organizational stuff. We have just tailored all of the parties and things so that she can be a part of them. I think its really important that these kids feel like they're just like everyone else some times. I know my little sis just longs to be a part of things, but often times people (even family) are so quick to exclude her, because they assume that she's not capable. I know you know your little sis well, and you know what she's capable of. Give her a chance though, and don't sell her short. She might surprise you i LOVE that you're making an effort to find the perfect place for her in your wedding! I can tell that she is very loved!

My sister has special needs as well. I knew she would not be able to handle the pressure of standing in front of people. She HATES attention. So, we decided to give her the job of making sure everyone got their print on the thumbprint tree, and handing out programs. She's more comfortable when she has something repetative to do. I will also have one of my BM's daughter there to help her if she gets frustrated.

@Casey- You definitely made me tear up! That is awesome you are doing that for your sister. I just don't think mine would have the patience to go through all of that. She loves to be lazy, watch her basketball/any sports, and chill in her room. I know she'd appreciate feeling that included but I also think it'd be awesome for her to just be part of it. I can tell she wants to be. But then again it's also making me second guess it! I could have her as a junior MOH.

@Tiffany- a banner would be a really cute idea! A friend of mine and I (as well as help from some of the other ladies commenting) were talking about it and thought of having her go after the flower girls. I'm going to have all 4 of my colors for my pedals; have the 2 flower girls throw two of my colors, then have my sister possibly ring a bell or just walk down with the other 2 colors right before I walk down. If she gets nervous and doesn't want to walk then my FH will run up to her and walk down the isle with her.

I know she'd love having him walk with her cause she loves him; but we are going to keep that part a secret to see if she can do it herself. I'm going to talk it over with her and see what she'd prefer.

@2d Bride: She wouldn't be able to sing. I will definitely be sure to ask if she wants the "all eyes on her" cause if she doesn't then maybe I can just have her walk down with my flower girls. I can tell she wants to be part of it cause she was asking and I told her I'd have a special part for her. If I asked her what she'd want to do I know she'd say "I don't know" so I think anything I ask her to do she'll be excited.

Thank you ladies for your suggestions!! It's awesome to know there are many of you that know what I'm going through

How about flower girl? she doesnt need to be a little kid to be one

I'm sure you'll figure out the perfect place for her! Let us know what you come up with! My little sister just informed me that she has been working really hard on her speech for the reception, and her 'southern accent' is getting really good (FH's family is all from NC, and she feels like she needs to fit in with them) lol, she cracks me up!

Aw Jessica you sounds like such a sweet sister, putting so much thought into this! :-) I've also heard of having one or a few of the flowers in your bouquet that are removable..then when the bride gets to the end of the aisle she gives the flower to someone special like a mom, grandma..you could do that for your sister..also what i'm doing instead of the bouquet toss is I'm dedicating/giving my bouquet to my Grandma and telling her in front of everyone how much she means to me..maybe you could do that for your sister. Good luck deciding! :-)