Spinoff of Ob/GYN post...advice for virgin brides!

Lol at FMC - DH takes his sweet time, and I'm all, "Ok, this is nice and all, but I'd like to go to sleep!"

Bow chica WOW WOW!!

And be sure to do your bathroom business before. Having a full bladder can make it uncomfortable and distract you too.

Elizabeth: I would talk to him about the things he has said. Let him know that you are nervous. He should (and I'm sure will) respect that. Tell him to take it slow! You have alll the time in the world to do all of those adventureous things behind closed doors!

There is a differenc between "making love" and ummm..."screwing". Both are great depending on what mood you're in. [I'd say the wedding night/first time will definitely be a making love moment] but for future reference don't be afraid to be kinky [switch up the positions, use toys or props, be really vocal or idk scratch your nails down his back]. I was a virgin until fh and I was terrified for months to do anything but missionary. one day I got the courage to try different positions and woah buddy let me tell ya, it's so worth it. It might hurt the first couple times but if you love each other and he's gentle the pain will be so easy to deal with. Plus, when it's good....it's really good. Lol

Shannon! YES! OMG....I'm so tired...seriously honey? But I've learned his triggers too and he hates it....when the nails come out, I can count the seconds...ok, that was TMI, sorry!

This is probably obvious...

But, make sure you both wash your hands before you get started, and you should go pee before AND after sex. These acts will help prevent you from getting UIT's or any other types of infections.

Don't be surprised if you're a bit sore the next day, it's normal.

Most of all, have fun! You're building a connection with your spouse, and it will help you to be a strong couple. ALWAYS make time for sex.

@Sheila...

If stamina doesn't come with time, then it's time to train. Start and stop, start and stop... don't let him finish before you're ready. It WILL get better (time wise) if you practice!

I think Elizabeth may have meant *doggie* style.... but I could be wrong....

Shannon, I'm so glad you posted this. I'm sure a lot of women ARE afraid to ask these embarrassing questions.. And the good honest truth is what people need, not the things they see on tv or movies.

My advice?

-Like Shannon said, use lube. For the longest time lube was something that I never even thought of because I thought it was for things like anal sex and things that I wasn't interested in lol But sometimes halfway through the act, I can get dry and things get painful. All it takes its a quick dab of lube and it becomes a lot better and less painful.

-Don't get frustrated. It can get frustrating if he isn't doing what you want, if its painful, if you aren't feeling stimulated, etc. But the best thing to do is to concentrate on what feels good. Ask him to do something that you like, and concentrate on that. The more tense or frustrated you are, the more likely it is to hurt.

-Practice makes perfect! It wont be perfect the first time and it wont be perfect EVERY time.

Elizabeth, don't let him push you into anything on the first night that you aren't comfortable with. Take things slow, at your own pace. He shouldn't expect you to rush into exploring your bodies together - there's no fun, or romance, in that. If you're into his suggestions later on, that's good too. But never do something you aren't comfortable with.

@Elizabeth - I told FH that if he wants backdoor, I'll let him do it after he lets me do it to him. Yeah, that shut him up about that. Though some guys are into that, I guess. This is really TMI. :o

Oh, I thought she meant anal too. Whoops. Bella and I have dirty minds.

She could have meant it.... not sure. I just know a whiles back a book was describing doggie and they said "enter from behind" and I was like WTF?!?! Then there was clarification : )

Music.... sometimes music can help with the mood.

and talk now about what you Don't feel comfortable trying the first night... there is time for experimenting with interesting positions, toys, props, etc later.

Get a hotel room with a Jacuzzi suite.... pour a little of the shampoo in there and get the jets going (it makes tons of bubbles, so not much is needed) Both of you get in and have some fun, get a foot massage... massage something of his (evil grin) This way you are all clean and feeling relaxed.... move to the bedroom, little more foreplay to get you relaxed - lube always a good idea - and take it slow - try to relax - don't tense up - tell him to stop and don't move in any further if it is hurting, have him kiss your neck/ears/lips to relax you before he moves in more.

Once you relax and get going, kiss, nibble, run your nails down his back and whisper stuff in his ear.

Have fun... rest up... and go again...

@ Elizabeth I would tell him to take things 1 thing at a time. It took years for me and my FH to be comfortable enough with each other to be able to try different things. As far a the oral part it's not as bad as it seems brush your teeth before or suck on a mint or something and you wont think of the taste and as bella said make sure he is willing to do the same for you...And if he is willing to do not be self concious about it he will enjoy pleasuring you almost as much as you enjoy yourself....

Dang Elizabeth - he sounds like an overeager teenager! My guess is he won't last long enough to try those things anyway. ;-)

Elizabeth - what makes you nervous about giving oral? This might be too much for this post, but I was really nervous about it too and talking to my more "experienced" friends helped a lot.

Some of their pointers: don't feel like you have to choke yourself. You don't need to put all of him in, just do what you are comfortable with. He shouldn't push your head down. Use your hands too (almost like a combo hand-mouth thing).

@ elizabeth... find his porn stash and watch for some tips.. and practice on a popsicle, train your gag reflex and learn to use your tongue to cover your lower teeth... and if you want things "clean" take a bath or shower together first... Don't gag yourself, just do what you can. Take control, and let him know you are the boss and he better be good if he wants anything (remind him you have teeth) Tell him if he wants it he can't thrust himself and gag you, and he can't grab your head. ... and you can always get some edible things to pour on him to lick and tease him.

I think this is such a great post and props to all the ladies who waited for the right man!! I was really nervous the first time I went down on a guy, try to remember that evening being in that region is a turn on for him. Take things slow and explore. Kissing and licking alone should have his tones curling. Then as you feel more comfortable try more. You dont have to act like a porn star, it's your first time

@Elizabeth dont EVER guilt yourself into doing something or do it because you feel you "have to" because that 1. isnt healthy and 2. just wont be enjoyable this is kind of obvious but have you told him how nervous you are? you are marrying this man and will have the rest of your life to try many different positions and who knows maybe youll start things up and be ready to but this is going to be your first time will most likely be able to have one of those perfect nights but FH NEEDS to know how you are feeling and what you are and arent ready for, if you are going to let him enter the back door be sure he knows what he is doing!! if he goes in he must clean up before reentering the vaj and go slow and use tons of lube!!! good luck and please have a serious talk with your FH to let him know how you are feeling you have every rite to only want one or two positions your first time and until you are more comfortable