Spinoff of Ob/GYN post...advice for virgin brides!

Mine was not "that" bad...it just hurt a little...kind of like a pinching feeling...but we stopped and worked our way...and now...well now....thats all i think about (except the wedding) haha

So here's my advice first time or not.... and most of it has been covered, the key is communication of course. But also don't feel like you have to be a sex goddess porn star the first night. There will be a lot going on, and you'll be all amped up and exhausted all at the same time. Make plans for your first morning as a married couple as well as the first night. If your staying at a hotel, ask for room service to deliver a special breakfast. So that if there is slight disappointment from the wedding night, either caused by nerves, pain or exhaustion, you have a plan b.

Also and this is something no one has mentioned yet. Discuss your birth control plan way before the wedding night. Will you use protection? Will rely stricltly on the pill? Rythm method? I know this man will be your husband, but if you are a virgin and he isn't, ask him to get tested for everything. By this time in your relationship you should know those things about him anyway so he shouldn't be offended. (cont)

That goes both ways, if you are the more experienced; you should be tested too for everything. There are diseases out there that go undetected for years and can be asymptomatic. Trust is key in a relationship, and is a vital part of your sexual relationship. You have to be able to talk about even the most uncomfortable things with your partner. I'm not saying that you should provide details of every encounter or play the numbers game, but some things you NEED to know.

AND last but certainly not least, learn to love your body. Self esteem issues can take a toll on a healthy sex life very very quickly. If you love it, he will. IN so many fun and exciting ways.

Ana said one of the best pieces of advice on here, IMHO, DON'T FAKE IT! Seriously, faking an orgasm or pretending his "technique" sends your toes curling is like rewarding a puppy for pissing on your floor. They aren't mind readers, give them a hand...literally! If it's not doing it for you, use your hand to guide him and get him hitting the right spots and moving at the right speed.

Also, (as Mrs. Lesenski said) don't feel pressure to make sex like what you see in movies or porn. A.) because that's not how sex is anyway and B.) screaming so loud that your neighbors can hear is digusting (plus your guy will probably realize you're acting for him).

Once you guys have established a comfort level and basic knowledge of what you both like, then I say start spicing it up if you both would like that. Talk about fantasies, new positions, new lingerie You can start out small, sex dice are WAY fun (and great for foreplay!) and never underestimate the power of the tease

I have to add as well -- like most ladies said, the first time may hurt, it may not. You will most likely bleed a little -- and this is a good thing to warn FH about, because some guys may totally freak out.

It is best to be on top the first time, you can control how fast and how deep he goes -- start with just a little, then once that gets better, go a little deeper, etc. It may take awhile, but it is best to just relax, and take your time!!

Practice makes perfect!!!

Also--not to freak anyone out, but if you have cold sores (oral herpes), there have been cases that show that the oral herpes virus can spread to the genital region and cause genital herpes and vise versa. But also, some people can be exposed to oral/genital herpes and NEVER have an outbreak themselves. So just be careful!

YOU MUST PEE AFTER SEX!! Always! even if it is just a tiny little dribble, it will help clean out your urethra, and most of the time keep you from getting a urinary tract infection - no fun!!

I believe that it's different for everyone. My first time, (which was with my FH when we were 17 years old,) was painful. We almost gave up because he just, couldn't, ahem, get it in... lol However, it was also AMAZING once it got started. We had an instant connection and fell in lust immediately.

I really do respect you girls that wait for marriage. It's a good choice in a lot of ways, and I'm sure it makes it very special when you finally do it. I am lucky to have lost my virginity to the same man that I am going to end up marrying. It's pretty cool to wait though I think, and like I said. I truly respect any woman or man who is able to have that kind of self-control.

That said, I have to let you know that sex is a very big and important part of a good relationship. The emotional and mental part is extremely important as well, however, human sexuality is a part of human nature for a reason, and plays a big role in our bonds with our significant others. Good luck y'all!!!