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Just Said Yes September 2022

Spiritual attack before marriage…

Hilary, on August 14, 2022 at 2:15 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 18
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So we had a talk about my gut feeling per my last post and he says that he’s under a spiritual attack. He has been on a 45 day Daniel fast. He says that he thinks because we are getting close to marriage the devil is attacking him and I should be more or a support system than to take it personal. Because he tells me about all he’s going through I should be able to pick up when the attacks are happening when he starts being mean and just frustrated towards me. I told him I feel like a punching bag because most of the things he says has nothing to do with me. I’m a optimist so life inconveniences don’t bother me as much as they do him. If I go to a store and it’s closed I will just go to another or doordash whereas he will get frustrated and somehow blame it on me because I choose to go to that store instead of checking first. He also talks a lot about our finances . He doesn’t like how I work so much but don’t bring home as much. Although I pay all of my own bills he feels I should have money to take him out with or to offer things. I’m only 26 and I feel like I’m doing okay for my age. Plus I also have a kid and a full time student on top of working full time. Am I being manipulated or are spiritual attacks a real thing that all religious engaged couples go through. This entire engagement has been under a spiritual attack it feels like. I thought this was supposed to be a happy moment for me.

18 Comments

Latest activity by Hajaratu, on May 4, 2023 at 6:59 AM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I've literally never heard of such a thing. It sounds to me at least like he's making up excuses to try to explain his crappy behavior.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Girl, I am going to be blunt…. RUN!!!
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  • Victoria
    Dedicated November 2022
    Victoria ·
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    Run, sis. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. This will be your reality and then some. Run.
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  • Imani
    Master July 2022
    Imani ·
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    ^ couldn’t agree more! seriously this.
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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    Run away. Run *far* away. This guy is gaslighting you.

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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    This man is using religion as a weapon and to control you. Take your child and get far away from this toxic person.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    What? No. Nope. Get out now.

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  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    None of this sounds mentally normal or sound. Spiritual attacks are NOT a thing, and one’s religion or spirituality should never cause someone to mistreat others. MAJOR RED FLAGS!!!!
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  • G
    Dedicated September 2023
    Grace ·
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    So I've heard of "spiritual attacks" but I definitely agree with Cece. This man is absolutely using religion as a weapon against you. There is no excuse for turning any kind of frustration towards you. My FH also gets frustrated at things sometimes. But he has never turned it against me. And that is important.

    He is absolutely trying to explain away his atrocious behavior. This is not healthy for you, and it is not healthy for your child. Also, I cannot believe he says anything about your income and how much you work.

    Also, I really hope he doesn't convince you to "forgive" him for this. This is a red flag, and I'm glad you're seeing it now. I'm sure he will blame it all on the devil and say that you're abandoning him when he needs you most. You don't want this for your future. And there is no god who thinks you need to endure this. It will not get better.

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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    This is an emotionally abusive relationship. You gotta get out before he escalates
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  • Leslie
    Devoted December 2022
    Leslie ·
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    Spiritual attacks are real BUT this guy is straight up manipulating the situation. If he claims to be feeling spiritual attacks he should be attacking the demons with prayer not attacking his fiancé. He cannot blame his bad attitude on spiritual attacks, I understand we can all get frustrated but we should also take accountability for our actions and not blame it on the devil all the time lol because many times we get into bad situations as a result of our own decisions. Remember this is just a small glimpse into the future I would double think 10x before going fwd with marriage. If he is acting like this now when everything is supposed to be at the very best what can you expect of him down the road when you encounter even more stressful situations. Remember what the Bible says about what Love is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. If he’s not showing all these things is it really love?Spiritual attack before marriage… 1

    Also maybe consider going to pastors for counseling and prayer before making a final decision💞 Also, if he is not giving you absolute peace and security in marrying him that is also a red flag. Better guys exist, do not settle, it’s not too late!💖
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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael Online ·
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    Everything sounds backwards here. He blames you for anything bad. You are in school paying for everything when the other spouse usually tries to contribute to help the student. The spiritual situation does not sound like a healthy one and may have been used as a shortcut to avoid solving real problems. You may need to get free from all of this if it all is just darkening your life. (With your first discussion here, it was on edge of deserving this reaction. Now it seems more troublesome. Definitely not settled enough to marry.)

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  • Orianna
    Devoted December 2022
    Orianna ·
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    Don't walk, run. RUN.

    Using religion as a basis for why he's being mean to you? Nope. Nope nope. I grew up very very religious (Catholic) and religion is never never an excuse to treat someone badly. Ever.

    I've never heard of the Daniel fast - but I googled it. This fast is meant to be 10-21 days. He's on day 45? This is a restrictive diet that is meant to "humble" you through an act of sacrifice. Its something that gained popularity in the last few years because of Chris Pratt - not exactly someone I'd take religious advice from, honestly. And its meant to be a short thing. He's already more than doubled the length.

    He's weaponizing his religion against you as a way to justify any act towards you that could be considered not okay.

    For the sake of you, your child, your mental health and your safety I say this with all the love and respect in the world for religion - RUN.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Major red flags so you need to run fast and far away. Religion is not an excuse to be a crappy human.
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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael Online ·
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    That stood out in another post recently where the bride's dad wanted to control her choices and behavior if he contributed to the wedding. His religious attitude was just controlling not recognizing the journey people take.

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  • Gillian
    Devoted July 2021
    Gillian ·
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    So.. no. If what you’ve said about his words are accurate, that is verbal and emotional abuse, 2 possible types of intimate partner violence/domestic violence. Do not pass go. Do not collect marriage license.


    Protect yourself and your children. Trust your gut. His behaviors are screaming dangerous. Get out, get family support from someone you can trust/safe house program, get support from a counselor.
    National Domestic Violence Hotline: 24/7/365 with 200+ languages of support. 800-799-7233
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  • Ashley
    Savvy May 2023
    Ashley ·
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    Whoa!! I'm sorry but that is NOT okay. Take heed and run, that is not normal at all. Consider this as a preview to what marriage will be like with him for the rest of your life. Get out now while you still can and like others said before me RUN don't walk, this behavior is totally unacceptable and you should want more for yourself and know that you deserve better. If not for yourself do it for your child, leave and don't look back this is not good, not good at all. He's unstable.
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  • Erin
    Beginner October 2023
    Erin ·
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    Sounds to me like this guy is using your religious beliefs as a smokescreen to hide the early signs of being an abuser. He's not being "spiritually attacked" he's just a crappy dude. Get out of that relationship before you're legally bound and it gets a lot harder to do so.
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