Spoiled Family

Ignore it. If you don’t engage, what’s she going to do? Argue with herself? That’s fine. Just walk away. You won’t have time to sit and chat with her anyway.

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Sadly I will. My wedding will only be immediate family less then 70 people. She will be telling everyone this and I really just don't want that to happen. I am a people pleaser, and absolutely hate when some one isn't happy or says something bad about something I did.

Just walk away. "We're so glad you could make it, hope you are having a good time!" and walk away. It's really that simple. She'll only ruin your day if you let her. The title of your thread alone implies she is not the only one bringing negative feelings to the table.

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Lets hope that's what actually comes from my mouth instead of a few cuss words and anger words lol Knowing me that may happen.

View Quoted Comment It seems like you have 4 options: engage with her exactly as she wants by cursing and getting aggravated, acknowledge her with the "so good to see you!" that others have suggested, ignore her completely (even with a group of 10 people, it's possible to not engage with every person if you don't want to), or just don't invite her. None of these options are perfect. But it's up to you which you think would get you the best result.

I think you should get a custom made neon? sign saying "Good vibes only". Let it be your mantra. I imagine your guests will shame her should she dare open her mouth. It's petty, but preemptive!

I have an aunt like this. I just nod and smile and let her go. It is what it is. 🤷🏼‍♀️

All good advice above. Also, if it really bothers you, no more talking about your wedding plans to family who'll share with your cousin. I have a cousin who's the same way, also engaged, and the biggest "sneak peak" of my wedding I let her know before the wedding day was the name of the venue when she got her invitation. The rest she got to find out day of.

View Quoted Comment I didn't think she would be a problem. She had locked down date and venue at the museum then out of no where she switched to the barn. She over heard me talking to my aunt's about needing a pic of their mom (my grandma) for my memory table. So she copied the idea. However ri know it's becoming common to do so I'm not mad about that

Don’t invite them. Simple as that 💯it’s your day! Why invite people who’s going to talk smack?? But whatever you decide to do good luck ❤️My fiancé and I are not inviting his mother or sister. I know that sounds bad, but they are the worse people I have ever met. And we don’t need any of that energy at our wedding. Some people you got to let go.

I tell you what these are the kinds of people that you just dont say anything and ignore most of what she say. Because no matter you say she will always have something to say even tho you that you has your ideas from the start. I have naysayers but honey and I am 49 yes old and I am still going through on what we want and you can turn a deaf ears. When your day comes what she says won't even matters because you will be focusing on you. And let her go the church or venue and not to interrupt your peace. Good luck with everything Congratulations to you both

View Quoted Comment Sweetheart we cant please everyone and this is your day not hers. This is your 1 big special day let her talk honey ppl will always talk good and bad look this is what my Grandmother always say let them talk they talked about jesus. They are jealous of you because you thought of it first. I have a friend who just told me that she is living her dream of getting married thru me because it didn't happen for her. I will let no one and I mean know mess up this day for us. And you do the same give it to God honey and you and your FH enjoy you special day

Honestly it sounds like the aunt just shouldn't be invited.

As someone who literally did not start thinking of her wedding until we decided to be officially engaged (we postponed officially announcing due to COVID), I feel a lot of weddings look and “feel” the same. This could be your advantage.


This isn’t to say I think all weddings are bland or copies of each other. I just feel that as a cultural/social institution, there will be common elements that signify this event as a wedding. If your silly aunt wants to claim you’re copying your cousin, she might as well claim the hordes of Pinterest boards and many other folks here are copying her little darling too. If she chooses to be this daft, laugh it off with “Funny! I guess we both have excellent tastes.” or something of the like.
Congrats on getting closer to the goal! We’ve had a prolonged engagement here too due to COVID. I’m in a slightly similar situation also because a cousin decided to propose to his girlfriend (during a friend’s mid 2021 microwedding no less…) and then they rushed planned a wedding we’re attending this weekend. We’re still a year out from ours. Nosy family members have been trying to provoke me but levity has been my best weapon and defense. I also realized that my wedding will be mine and FH’s and therefore that is different enough for us. Good luck with your wedding plans and your family!

I would not invite any of them and do your best to ignore them. Is she like this with other stuff or just the wedding? If it’s the first option I would also go no contact due to her petty toxicity. She will only make herself look bad.

I literally cannot stand copy cat behavior… and hate when people do it and accuse you of being the copy! However, I agree that nowadays there isn’t much originality when it comes to weddings. My advice to you: stop talking about ANYTHING wedding related to anyone in the family and make all of your decisions silently. Also, have a person there that is a buffer and will intercept her in all of her BS so that you don’t even have to deal with it. I pray you have someone like this that is in your corner and will not allow anyone to ruin your day.

Hi sweetheart I have learned that we will always have some ppl who just cant help themselves but want to make problems. I have some family members issues to but I want you to enjoy yourself and trust you can just as simple as walk away. I sorry that you have to endure this when is supposed to be a happy time for you. They will know because you havent seen any of her decor plus you have pictures to prove it. You will not have time engaging yourself with your aunt nonsense if someone comes up to you about just say yes I know but didn't and say it with a big smile. I pray that you will have a great day😊