Starting a Blended family

Can I ask why you want to hyphenate her name?

Yeah....why do you want to hyphenate....Is her dad an active part of her life

Because I would like us to have the same last name...without her losing her father's last name

Honestly, I don't think that is fair to your daughter or her dad. You are changing your name, your daughter isn't unless your new husband is adopting her. I think you might create problems with your daughter's dad by doing that.

I agree, I don't think it's fair or right to change her last name in any way. Especially if her father is a part of her life. Now if he wasn't and your FH was adopting her then that would be a different story. But just because you are changing your last name doesn't mean hers should be too. And I don't mean that to be rude, just giving my opinion. Because what if ( and God forbid) you and FH don't make it, then will you want to change her last name when you marry again. In no way am I saying that ya'll won't, congrats btw, but just throughing a hypothetical situation out there.

Her father has come and gone out of her life as he pleased. And hyphinating her name would not take anything away from her father....the hyphen can drop. And the my ex husband would have to sign off on it happening anyway. Its a matter of asking him, it would not take away any of his rights. He wasnt going to give up a fight if I had asked chang her name to my maiden name when we got divorced but I wasnt up for changing both of our names at that time knowing that eventually the names would be changed again.

The thing that I am having the most trouble with is explaining to her the whole getting married situation. BTW she will NOT be callling my new husband dad, unless she chooses to, that is not a line I will cross.

I am not trying to rude, but you are really quick it sounds like to change your daughters last name. Her last name is just that her last name. You may change your last name several times, but that doesn't mean she needs to.

I think if my mom would've done that to my last name when she married my Step-dad I would have been upset. I know my Dad would have been too, even if he didn't say anything.

Have you thought about hyphenating your last name instead? That way you don't have to do her name, and you still have partially the same last name?

I kept my ex husband's last name when we got divorced. I'm not talking about changing it the next day but eventually.

I also have two children ages 9 and 6. my kids have their fathers last name and i have my maiden name. my daughter (6) said she wants to have the same last name as me but i explained to her that i named her her name for a reason and even tho my name is different we are still a family. their father is not in their life as he should be but i still dont think that their names should change!! i will be hypenating my last name tho because we are a close family and i love my name and the family it represents. my kids already look at my FH as a step dad they call him by his name but when speaking of him to others they say step dad and thats their choice i would never make them refer to them as their dad.

My step-mom kept her name hyphenated from the time she divorced her first husband and it's still hyphenated now that she's married to my dad. I think that's a great way to keep the last names the same without changing the childs last name.

Here is what my 10 year old said to me when I was thinking about changing my name back to my maiden name. He said mom you are not a Truett anymore so why wouldn't you change your name. See he knew that he was still a Truett and I no longer was. Your new last name is not your daughters.

Well you said you would do it eventually, being as she will be 4 by the time the wedding rolls around that means she will be starting school soon after (within a year or 2) and that would just really confuse her. I'm sure she will start learning her full name soon anyhow, so again, confusing.

As far as explaining to her the marraige thing...just tell her that her daddy will still and always will be her daddy and that FH will be another dad to her. Some may think that stepdads shouldnt be referred to as dads and vice versa with stepmoms, but i completely disagree. That IS what they are! Just explain to her that he's not there to take daddy's place, but just to help you out and be the man when daddy is not around. I agree with the not making her call him (FH) daddy thing, but allowing her to call him DAD if she is comfortable with it. I know my future step daughter tried it in the beggining and her mom put a halt to that really quickly. Which I didn't think she should call me cont'd

That anyhow until we are married. But if it were to come up in the future then I'd be fine with it. I've told my son already taht he can call his step mom MOM if he wants. Like I said, just because they aren't blood doesnt mean that they are not a parent to them. Good luck on whatever you decide.

You can do legal change of name through the registar. Like people have changed their name cause it was spelled wrong at the start or cause they wanted to.

My daughter is 5 has my maiden name, not her bio dads name, And now that I am married, My Husband is adopting my daughter and her name will be changed, Its very important to me that she has the same last name as me and the rest of our family. She will now have my sons last name and my husbands last name. BUT our circumstances are differant. Her Bio Dad aka Sperm Donor, Hasnt been around and has offered to sign over his rights....My Husband is the ONLY dad she knows and has ever known, He has raised her since she was a month old. And has earned the title as Daddy. And when sperm donor would happen to show up for his supervised visits, he insisted she call him Michael.

If my mom would have done that when got divorced i would have been mad. let her make a choice when she is older to decide. but let her do it on her own. don't ask her when you think she is ready.

The only reason my 10 year old daughter's name will change is because FH will be adopting her. Her bio dad (like Brittany S is a sperm donor) has not been in the picture since she was 2 and I have no clue where he is.

She is not marrying your FH, YOU are.

But like everyone else has said we are going to be a FAMILY!!!

I agree with Elizabeth, you should let her make that decision for herself when she is old enough to understand it.