Starting to regret planning Church ceremony

It sounds like you and fiance are on the same page, and you + parents are not. The caveat here is that when you allow parents/in-laws to pay for your wedding, you give up that autonomy.

You sound like you don't want to get married in a church. If I was you, I would tell my parents that it doesn't feel right to you, and these issues adding up are only making you feel more secure with your choice to NOT move forward with this catholic wedding. If they decide not to help you pay, so be it. You can have beautiful weddings on a budget, or just keep saving your money until you can afford the wedding you want.

Else, you may have to accept that you will not have the autonomy to make the choice whether to get married in a church or not. I don't have any experience with a priest or Catholicism, but I do believe that an impersonal officiant is a VERY real fear and I would be afraid of a disconnect as well. We chose someone extremely close and important to us to marry us for this reason!

I'd for sure reach out to the arch diocese and ask when you can expect a response. If possible, I'd put it in an email and copy the point of contact at the parish your ceremony will be held too. It may help to add that you applied on whichever date and haven't been able to meet with the church you'll be getting married at due to their lack of communication.

As a contingency plan, would you be able to use your reception space as a ceremony space if need be? You may have to find an officiant and maybe an arch or something if you want one, but most places are able to accommodate both events in one space.

Money does come with strings, and this may be the hill the parents want to die on. It doesn't sound like it's in your heart to be married in the church. I like Paige's suggestion of using the reception space for the ceremony, if you can.

It sounds like, no matter whether or not you ultimately decide if you can accept a church wedding, you need to at least start a plan B for a ceremony site. I would work on that immediately, since that will help alleviate your worries about getting church approval in time. And then also keep discussing with your future spouse about what you both really want, so that you can make your final decision with enough time to change your plans.

Hello Erica and congrats! Perhaps you could consider using an Interfaith Minister to perform your ceremony. He or she would work with you to incorporate some elements of your Catholic tradition (if you so desired) while also personalizing the ceremony to your liking; including music, prayers, vows, etc. You could hold it in a non denominational chapel that is open and welcoming to all faith traditions. I understand the parental aspect, though and including them in the planning might alleviate the anxiety for all.

Jill