STD wording and date change (dual wedding/baby annoucement) or just send the invite?

I would wait until March. Just to make sure nothing bad happens. I've had a few friends announce their pregnancy too early and then end up losing it. It's such a sad thing and dealing with that on top of a lot of people knowing made it even harder for them. I would just keep in mind that it's better to hold off telling people so I would send the invite at the normal time for your new date and include an announcement of your new family member!

I love your idea of going with the flow and using both dates! I'm currently pregnant with our second child (not planned but welcomed) I'm due in june and our wedding is November 4th so it's alot to handle but we're women, we were made for this!!

Just don't send STDs at all at this point. February will be halfway over by the time you get them in the mail to address and send out. And I've never seen formal pregnancy announcements. I would just wait until you're out of the first trimester and tell your immediate family in person and let them spread the word to your extended family (that's how I've always seen it done). Birth announcements are a thing though. People usually send those out in the first few months after the baby is born.

I'm at 5 weeks.. by the time I say anything to anyone it'll be 8 weeks and I'll have minimal risk of loss, for now I have to make plans despite the risks.

I like groseras idea because in honesty, we're only inviting closest family and friends so it's not we can't reach everyone.....

that's a good idea actually.... save us money too

When was your old date? If your STDs went out months ago, then you absolutely need to update out-of-town folks or people traveling so they don't buy their plane tickets or take time off work for your old date. It's up to you whether or not you reveal the baby news, but you do need to tell people the new date if they're traveling.

@elizabeth old date was October. people made hotel reservations already but they're freely cancellable and movable dates

OP - I would wait until you hit 12 weeks before making some sort of baby announcement. Both my sister and SIL had issues between 8 and 12 weeks, resulting in losses. They had only told immediate family, but it was still really hard form them to come back and give the bad news.

I would not send STD just because by the time they get to everyone it could be extremely confusing. But I would jump on the phone, email, ect and contact all these people and tell them that due to personal reasons you had to move the date up. Once your in the clear and announce the pregnancy, they will all get the hint as to what the "personal reason" was

Agree with @Sarah, My miscarriage was at 10 1/2 weeks. FH had already told some friends, it was hard getting through it on my own, but having people who already knew bring it up with their condolences every time we saw one, made things harder.

I find the whole concept of an STD for when you are having a baby completely bizarre. They do not need to "save" that original date for anything - you are the one having the baby. Sorry it's just weird.

Just update people on the change of wedding date and send invitations at the appropriate time.

I'd get on the phone and let people know pretty quickly that they need to change travel plans for the date or some won't be able to make it.

Oh ladies i'm so sorry for both your losses or for appearing to minimize a risk- i'm not saying there's not a risk, I understand that it def happens and complications can arise at any point and I've done my research on the numbers I'm facing - my sister and mother both lost pregnancies and I remember the pain they were in, but I'm also looking pragmatically at the timeline and will have little choice but to announce the pregnancy between 8 and 10 weeks or it would be too late to send out the invites to our guests and because it is a DW wedding that requires hotel reservations for 100% of my guests, I have to think of them as well.

I am mentally and emotionally prepared for either outcome, but thank you ladies.

Wait, you're moving your destination wedding up by 4 months and you're concerned about when to announce the pregnancy? Leave the baby announcement out of this and get on the phone NOW with all these people making travel plans. If this was a local wedding, maybe your concerns would be understandable, but this is a DW and people are already going out of their way. Now that you sent STDs with the wrong date, you OWE it to them to correct it right now, whether or not you want to announce the pregnancy.

I'd be so pissed if I made travel arrangements for an October destination wedding, then found out that you moved it up by 4 months and didn't tell me as soon as you possibly could because you were debating a pregnancy announcement. I don't need to know you're pregnant (that's for you, not the guests). I DO need to know the wedding date you sent me a STD for because by now, I've likely already requested time off from work and/or purchased airline tickets/hotel rooms/made plans for when I'm in the area.

Ummmm Elizabeth I think you misunderstood.. relax, no one's made any travel arrangements yet and seeing as I've only invited close family and friends they'll def be more excited for a pregnancy that you would be for your apparent loved one (really you'd be "pissed"?) and I've already said that the hotel reservations are easily changed it 2.5 hours drive away so no need for aggressions or so many capitalized words.

I'm stressing here to do what's best for me AND my guests, don't know if you've picked up on that...

Just call them. If people have already made travel arrangements then they probably have also requested time off from work. I would appreciate knowing about the change ASAP instead of having to wait three more unnecessary weeks.

Where did you say 2.5 hours? You said "destination wedding" and yes, people do make travel arrangements for destination weddings. So you'll forgive me for assuming it wasn't a wedding that was 2.5 hours away. And yes, if someone invited me to a DW, then moved the date up 4 months from when the STD said, but didn't tell me right away because she wanted to do it at the same time as the pregnancy announcement, it would irk me. Absolutely. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be happy or excited for my loved one. I can be happy for them and still think they did the wrong thing in allowing me to make plans for an October wedding when they knew the wedding would be in June.

Your problem is that you're not separating the two events. You've already given your guests a date for your wedding. It's your responsibility to notify them as soon as you change that date. Not to do so is irresponsible and rude. The pregnancy is its own thing entirely and not something you need to tell them now nor something that should determine when you tell them about the wedding date change.

I agree with Elizabeth. You're getting way to wrapped up in this pregnancy announcement STD (which isn't even a thing) rather than immediately informing your guests of the change in wedding date.

Ok. this is how arguements start.. i'm not "wrapped up" in anything. I'm focused on the question at hand (how do I tell my guests about the new date) and really dont think, all the extra words are helpful.

Call them. Got it.

See how easy that was without all the judgmental extra words?

Easy Peasy.

Thanks for the input.

I'll get on that.

You can't tell people how to post. This thread would have gone in a different direction if you had simply asked the above question. But you complicated matters with the pregnancy announcement/STD, so you have to expect that people will give you their opinions on that.