Stealing my bridal thunder--- major vent!!!

Lots of people have showers after the baby is born. I know my mom is always adamant that it happen after as too many problems can happen during childbirth (she had some miscarriages and many issues with me... I really was not meant to have survived pregnancy or childbirth but miracles happened and I survived!).

I would be thankful that your aunt has offered to throw you a shower and just enjoy it. She is being generous and if she hosts an event on a different day than yours, so be it. If you are really unhappy, then see if someone else will host a shower. You can always have another shower for friends and have it be a bit of a different event (like do something else as part of the shower to make it more fun) if you feel like you won't get a special day.

Are you invited to the baby shower? Then go and drum up support for your wedding shower if you're worried people won't show.

Take a moment and breathe. It's a bridal shower, not the wedding. Only really close family and friends go to the bridal shower anyways and I'm expecting they will show up because they are your really close family and friends. If you are this angry though and let your family know this, you might earn yourself a title.

If you are that concerned about it being 'lame' when someone else is throwing it for you... idk. Talk to your MOH and see if she will throw it?

Why not do both together and make it one big party? You can share the thunder. Theres no limit on happiness and celebration.

It's a baby...There is nothing wrong with having the baby shower after it is born. This enables more people to come to your shower if they normally would rather see the baby if it's a month before or whatever and can't afford to travel. So more gifts!! Please don't be jealous of the baby and stomp your foot. Not a good look for your family members :-)

If you are really that upset about it, see if you can change the day.

It's sounds like maybe she was trying to be practical. If she lives out of town then it's probably easier for her to come in once and get 2 events out of the way in one go - especially if she's already got a baby.

Have you talked to her? It's quite possible that she had no ill intentions at all.

Like the other ladies said, you certainly need to take a breather here. I don't think she's trying to steal your thunder at all but rather is making it convenient since, as you said, she lives in a different state. You also pointed out that everyone is having a tough time with cash right now, so maybe she can't afford taking two trips over on different dates, especially seeing as she has a newborn. It is at the time of your bridal shower but just because you're getting married doesn't mean everyone else's lives stop.

I think those who want to attend both or one or the other will do so. If they don't attend your shower it doesn't insinuate they won't attend the wedding (which is the more important event, no?). So chill, you should be focusing on bigger and better things right now! You're getting MARRIED! It shouldn't make a difference if there's 10 or 50 people because at the end of the day, they all still love you. And you're fortunate to have that in itself.

No need to stress, its 2 different days. what are you scared that she wont want to do your bridal shower anymore? i mean i dont see what the stress is about if its 2 different days.

That is really frustrating

Don't stress about this. Your wedding is one day. Your shower is one day. All other days are fair game for anything else, and they certainly won't steal your "bridal thunder." If anything, I'd be more worried for your aunt hosting two parties in a row. Now THAT is stressful.

In Asian culture, it is considered "unlucky" to have baby showers before the baby is born because it is viewed as counting chickens before they've hatched. The family usually celebrates the baby AFTER the baby is born...but it is no longer a shower because the couple would normally already have all the baby products they would need usually given by the close families.

Nevertheless, people are not required to follow traditions and/or superstitions so a lot of Asian people do have baby showers before the baby is born and so I wouldn't be surprised if some people out there have it AFTER. To each their own, as always.

I don't think it would steal your thunder at all since it doesn't even take place on the same day as your bridal shower so no one would really have to choose between the two events.

My FSIL had her baby shower after her son was born. Didn't have much choice when he came 6 weeks early so the shower was rescheduled. I think you are overreacting.

I fail to see how this steals your bridal thunder....different day, different occasion.

Be thankful your aunt is hosting a shower...it's vey kind of her no matter what she hosting the day before.

I can see the panic surrounding a joint bridal shower for two brides in the family getting married around the same time, but not one bridal and one baby shower.

Is it an actual baby shower where she registered for gifts and they are showering her with gifts? Or is just a get together? If it's an actual baby shower, I get that you're worried you might be gypped out of presents and the presence of company since the dates are close and as you said, your family is tight on cash. If you're this upset with it, have your shower hosted some time else and/or by someone else.

Because you're family, I would suggest being the bigger person and offer to have your shower another time. Telling her you think it's unfair she's doing this to you might make you look selfish and unappreciative of the fact she's still willing to throw you one. I know that's not how you feel, but to keep the peace, I would take the high road.

Shannon I totally feel you! That sucks. I know my family wouldn't travel in on both days

Shannon I totally feel you! That sucks. I know my family wouldn't travel in on both days

Thank you everyone for your input. I just felt that they should have been more respectful that it was the weekend i chose to celebrate with my friends and family, and her daughter should have known that she may be stirring up trouble. Oh well i guess, good luck to her trying to get people to come to a baby shower on a Friday on Valentines Day. My moh and i are going to plan a fabulous champagne-fueled "after party" at my house with all my close friends. Not going to let it bother me anymore!!

^ good for you!