Step-parents

My stepdad walked my mom down in the processional & recessional. All parents & stepparents were listed in our programs. Our invites said "together with their families" so we didn't specify parents/stepparents. All my stepfather's family was invited & included in the rehearsal dinner. My husband's father walked his stepmother in, her 2 daughters were bridesmaids. We all got our nails done a few days before & they all got ready with us.

Here are a few articles I found with how to including stepparents:


https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/8-ways-to-involve-stepparents-in-your-wedding-amp.html

https://www.inspiredbride.net/honor-step-parents/

https://www.theknot.com/content/amphtml/wedding-planning-with-divorced-parents

I'm in a similar boat to you. I'm actually closer to my step-dad rather than my bio dad (bio dad is a toxic person so I tend to distance myself). However, both will be at my wedding (with my mom and bio dad walking me down the aisle, which is in place so if bio dad flacks out, my mom is still there). FH and I are not doing parent dances. However, we plan on getting gifts for each parent to thank them for their help. (though it's more towards my stepdad since he has actually helped).

I've also seen women ask both fathers to walk down the aisle or even stepdad and bio dad for halfway and then bio dad finishing just the two of you. I would maybe sit down with your bio dad and talk to him about what would make him uncomfortable. Make sure he understands that you want to include your stepdad because he has been a big part of your life, NOT because you want to replace or downgrade him (not saying you would but he might feel that way). Say you want to do make everyone comfortable and happy on your big day. Hopefully, he agrees with you and you both can have a discussion of ways to include stepdad. I would also make sure stepdad is also comfortable with being included.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for this input. I appreciate it so much. My stepdad has been in my life since I was five, I attribute a lot of who I have become to him and his parenting over the years. I can’t imagine my wedding day without having him included in some way. But I also know my dad is easily offended and butt-hurt by that kind of stuff. So I’m hoping he will be supportive and understanding. You’ve given me a lot to think about. So thank you very much.

My stepdad actually doesn’t have any kids of his own, he took on all three of us and treats us as his own! My dad and him get a long, and I’ve always been thankful that together as a family with my mom, step dad and real father we could all always do things especially for big events. My fiancé’s parents are also divorced, and he almost thought we would need 2 separate weddings 🤦🏻‍♀️
But I am having my father and step father walk me down the aisle. My dad mentioned to me a couple years ago after seeing on tv or something that a father stopped halfway down the aisle and told the step father to join or something and said to me how he would except Dave(stepdad) to be included when the time came for us. I also plan on doing a father/daughter dance with my dad and step dad. Just talk to your real father about it and be honest! But hopefully he will be understanding especially if he’s been a part of your life since you were 5.

Girl I have had the same problem since we got engaged last year. My father and I didn’t talk for many years and my Mom remarried and my stepfather became like a father to me and now I do have a good relationship with everyone. It stinks because I was thinking to do the traditional father walking me down the aisle, but I chose my only brother (there’s 3 girls and 1 boy) because I am closest to him aside from my fiancé. My fiancé and I are paying for our wedding on our own so that played another factor in not choosing anyone else to walk me down the aisle. My stepfather and father do not like each other so just having both of them at the wedding is including them enough I think, but that’s just my sticky situation, haha. I do hope you can decide with a stress free mind what to do!

I am in the opposite boat lol. I can not stand my step father and wish I did not have to have him at my wedding. My step mother on the other hand is great and I am excite to have her come. I am honoring my step parents by giving them a boutonniere to wear. Since you have been close with your step father maybe you can thank him in a toast.