Stepson says i can’t attend his wedding/only his dad

View Quoted Comment You failed to mention that your daughter was groom's stepsister, you referred to her as YOUR daughter. How old is she? Is couple having kids at their wedding? If only dad is invited, which we can all agree/disagree about, wouldn't he be looking out for her?

Sorry, I meant half-sister.

View Quoted Comment I have to agree with this. Everyone needs to set and maintain boundaries now because his mom will dictate everything about their lives after the wedding. Including but not limited to when children are able to visit, how and where holidays will be spent and the list goes on. It needs to be nipped in the bud now before it gets worse

Your step son needs to learn not to do things which are ill mannered, to please others, or to avoid adults behaving like children. You and your husband are now a couple and have been for years, and should be able to accept any invitation a
of yours without question. Mother, with or without a companion, should be invited and told you hope she can put aside her hurt feelings, and attend. But you are not inviting or rejecting other guests according to her feelings. If children will be in the B and G future it needs to be clear from her son that this is day one of new house rules.

View Quoted Comment I don't know, since I'm not the OP. She mentioned that both she and her daughter weren't invited because of the MOG's feelings. If the OP's daughter is half-sister to the groom, then she has every right to be at her big brother's wedding regardless of his mother's feelings. Even if the couple isn't having kids there, the groom's sister should be an exception because she is the groom's sister! Of course, the father can look out for her, but it's extremely hurtful and rude to disinvite half a family like this. Everyone will notice that OP isn't there and they'll all know why. Is the father helping to pay for the wedding? If he is, he gets to have his own guest list and his wife and child of ten years should be on it.

I just found this thread searching for wisdom in a similar situation. 26 years ago, I met my husband who was divorced from a woman who wanted the divorce after she had numerous affairs. She immediately said she would not attend her kids’ events if I was there. I handled it with grace, and said it was more important for her to attend. I endured her calling me screaming at me about perceived affronts, frequent IRS audits because she wouldn’t claim alimony payments, told her kids that I wouldn’t allow their father to pay support, said we would have kids and their father would no longer love r them, stole the kids’ college money and said we never paid it. I helped with angry kids because of this toxicity and never said a bad word about the mom. Now, 26 years later, am not invited to my 38 year old stepson’s wedding. I can’t express how painful this is. I’ve maintained the grace and said it’s their decision but none of this is okay.