Stock the Bar Party... tacky or not??

Don't do this.

Jody......please work on your ability to fart sparkles

Showers are not necessary

@Jody, when PPs have mentioned a couples bar or personal bar, they mean your own personal collection of liquors and barware at your home that you and your FH drink and use for entertaining, not anything to do with a wedding. if you wanted to have a stock the bar party where guests bring items for you to enjoy at home, that is okay as a housewarming party. any alcohol to be consumed at the wedding should be purchased by the hosts.

I don't know about a stock the bar shower, but I have to say there are many comments regarding ideas to help reduce the cost of a wedding reception that have been met with responses that start out with "if you can't afford it..." Weddings are expensive, throw a stock the bar party if you want to. The people that know and love you will understand your intention is to help everyone have a good time at your reception without sending you into bankruptcy. We will not be purchasing any alcohol for our reception for a couple of reasons - 1. We can't afford to and 2. We don't want to be legally or feel morally responsible for providing alcohol that may result in DWI's etc... If our guests want alcoholic beverages we have a bar on site that they can purchase all the alcohol they want to enjoy. We also have several rooms blocked at the hotel we are having the reception at and encouraging guests to consider getting a room so there is no worries over drinking and driving. In this day and age I think it is simply irresponsible to provide an open bar at a wedding reception. Maybe I have taken care of too many victims of DWIs at work and told too many people that their loved one didn't survive an alcohol related incident or illness. JMHO

@Heather...your guests are not coming to subsidise your party, they are there as "Guests".

I'm breaking out my analogy AGAIN.

When you invite people over to your house for a dinner party and you offer them a glass of wine do you then say, "that'll be $6". When you offer beer, "that'll be $5", pop=$2, water $1, etc. No you don't because you are a good host and you don't want your guests to pay for things in your house because that is rude. Why is your wedding different?

You plan the party that you can afford for the amount of people that you can afford, and yes that means alcohol. If you don't want people to become too inebriated, hire good bartenders, that's their job!

I've been to several stock the bar parties, but it is always for the couples home bar. It's just a twist on the traditional shower.

ETA: Stocking your wedding bar is tacky.

@Heather I share your concern for people getting into accidents and such after my wedding. that is why I am providing a shuttle to & from the hotel and will personally pay for ubers should guests choose to drive anyway. I am also providing an open bar. Why? Because adults are adults. They alone are legally and morally responsible for their actions.

You definitely dont have to have an open bar. But you also definitely should not make your guests pay for anything. Beer & Wine is a good middle ground.

Tacky.

Its a great idea, but just for your personal bar...

Tacky.

Also, I don't understand the logic behind having a tacky party/shower when someone doesn't want a traditional shower. Just don't have a shower. You don't have to have one.

I can't believe that comment by Andilynne was flagged. Grow up everybody.

I loved the idea. Until you said it was for the wedding and not your own bar...

@Heather, even if your guests purchase alcohol, it is still YOUR event they attended. You can still be held liable. That is why so many venues require event insurance.

We are having beer and wine. I am still arguing with FH because he wants cash liquor. It's not going to happen. Bottom line, Family and friends don't charge us for a drink when we visit them, we are not charging them to have a beverage at our wedding.

Thank you so much everyone!! It really has been a struggle. I just never felt like the costs of anything should have been put on anyone else... after all, this isn't exactly either mine nor Josh's first rodeo if you know what I mean. We decided to stick to our guns, being that we don't want a shower or party of any sort. I'll take the advice mentioned here and just respectfully decline. Now that I understand the concept of a couples/personal bar, I still don't feel the need to even have a party to stock a home bar. We keep a pretty much fully stocked liquor cabinet for entertaining and I have tons of bartending tools (remember, former bartender here hahaha!!) because I still like to play from time to time. As for our big day, once again, we'll do what what we originally planned. I'll make a few different punches, our signature drink, and we will have both a red and white wine as well as keg beer. I was told kegs at weddings are trashy, but this is one thing I'm putting my foot down about. We love keg beer, regardless of how trashy it may be.

@Jody I see nothing wrong with keg beer! Beer is beer! We are having a couple of kegs from a local craft brewery

Geez stop trying to sensor people. You can't control how people talk. I swear everyone gets so butt hurt these days. Emily S. you sound like SUCH a wonderful person...

I think a stock the bar shower is great! Especially for couple who are not registering for gifts. It is customary to give the couple a gift, so why not give them something they can share with friends and family at the wedding. I am throwing a stock the bar shower. They didn’t ask me to. I offered. I don’t see it as tacky at all.

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This is an old thread, from 2016 just as a heads up.

Some people may not think the stock the bar party is a great idea, based on the responses in this thread. You can't count on everyone feeling the same way you do.

I love this idea. I see nothing wrong. It’s $40 at most compared to the $20,000+ you’ve spend on your day.