Strained parent relationship

There are plenty of brides and grooms that do not invite their parents/family members for a lot reasons. Just because they are you parents does not mean they get an automatic invite. If that's your stance, that is perfectly acceptable. I suggest searching some of the forums on here for others stories.

As far as asking for their blessing, if that is something you want/your fiance wants to do, do you have a closer relative? A grandparent, aunt, uncle, or other close parental figure in your life?

View Quoted Comment My fiancé asked my mom, for her blessing and now my dad continues to hold that over our heads and says that’s my fiancé being disrespectful to him for not asking him instead. That it’s my fault because I allowed for it to happen, when I should have came to him first when we decided we wanted to get married. He still hasn’t said congratulations because he said he hasn’t seen the ring

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That's super petty on your father's part. I know nothing of your background, so feel free to ignore this internet stranger. Is your dads opinion more important than your moms? Was your fiancé just more comfortable going to your mom? You're adults not property. If your fathers opinion does matter this much, then I guess both (Dad and fiance) should apologize to one another and try to come to a common ground.

A ring is just a symbol. It doesn't define commitment between two people. If he needs a ring, buy one of those candles or a toy machine ring and call it a day. That way if yall are saving for a ring, it will at least be a place holder.

View Quoted Comment My fiancé felt more comfortable asking my mom because that’s the parent that knows me the best and I have a great relationship with

You are not obligated to keep toxic people in your life. That includes inviting them to important events like weddings if you think they are going to negatively affect your day. My husband didnt ask anyone for their blessing but me. He just gave my parents a heads up of when he was going to do it.

Women aren't considered property anymore, so it's not a requirement to ask for a father's permission/ blessing. At best, it's a kind gesture as a nod to the person/ people who raised you, and anyone (regardless of gender) can be asked. You don't have to invite your dad to the wedding if you don't want to. You wouldn't be the first nor will you be the last to draw a hard boundary like that. It sounds like he has a lot of personal work to do with himself if he's blaming you or finding something wrong with any of this.

Anyone who doesn't support the relationship/ dislike the fiancé(e) shouldn't be invited, including parents, siblings.
I don't think there's a law statting that parents get an automatic invite...
As for "asking the woman's hand", my fiancé told me about 4.5 years ago, the 1st time we we disscussed marriage, that he would never ask my dador both parents for their blessing, let alone permission, because "yours and mine are the ones we need" and I totally agree. A guy should only ask if he wants to, shouldn't if he's asked/pressured by someone, including his fiancée. It's way more meaningful if he does it because he wants to vs asking reluctantly.

My fiancé didn't ask for anyone's blessing other than my own and I walked myself down the aisle so no one gave me away. I'm my own person, not the property of my parents.


I love my mom to death, but my dad's an a**. He got huffy when I told him I was walking myself down the aisle, but he last-minute decided he didn't want to do the father-daughter dance so I told the DJ we're not doing it. He also left early unannounced. Would it have been better if he didn't come? Probably. But thankfully in my case he just kinda glowered in a corner most of the day before leaving soon after dinner, so whatever.

My fiancé did not ask my dad permission and I'm 100% ok with that. My dad and I don't have a great relationship because he was a part time, abusive, single dad. I have gone though a majority of my life and relationship without him and didn't feel it necessary. As for your dad, I'm sure he was shell shocked to have his "authority" challenged.

View Quoted Comment Yes lol very shocked… my fiancé is very laid back and rarely gets upset. So I know my dad was like woah wait a second. That one interaction now my father is like I want nothing to do with him which is so crazy because me fiancé could say the same with the many instances where my father has acting outrageously and he’s like whatever. I don’t understand how you want someone to stand up for your daughter but not to you ?

View Quoted Comment It's more like everyone else, except for me mind set.

Many couples don’t ask for permission or a blessing in this day and age. It’s a common theme nowadays that brides “are independent and don’t have any intentions of perpetuating patriarchal traditions” such as asking for permission to marry and especially being walked down the aisle even though no one outside of the movies asks who is giving her away. Also if there is no relationship with a parent, they are not asked at all if they are even still in contact.