Long story short, my FH has a very strained relationship with his half brother. My FMIL is super upset that we are not inviting half brother and his family to the wedding. I'm stuck in the middle of it all and don't want to be. I don't want to pretend like everything is just okay when its not and I want to be supportive of my FH's decision to not invite. My FH won't talk about it much but basically his brother ruined every special event in FH's life and doesn't want him to ruin our wedding.
My FMIL pleaded with me that his brother has changed and that my FH is going to regret not having him there and the fact that brother won't be there will draw more attention to it and away from us. She basically wants him to suck up years of childhood trauma cause by his brother. Everything is always about the brother, brother this - brother that.. brother brother brother, can't do anything wrong kinda thing. My FH's grandparents threatened not to come if we don't invite him.... at this point we are just so tired of it and if people don't respect our decisions they don't have to come. I just don't know how to communicate it with my FMIL to get it through to her that we made our decision, my FH has talked to her multiple times about everything his brother has done and she just shrugged it off and that she raised my FH to be the bigger person - but why can't the brother be held accountable for his actions?
Its hard because brother is married and has two kids, and it feels like we are punishing his wife and kids when they've done nothing wrong.... I know my FH will be absolutely livid if his brother was there, he told me as much he would kick him out of the venue if he showed up.... I'm just lost.
