Stressing over engagement photos! (Trigger warning?)

I'm trying to tell myself that what truly matters here is that I'm happy, medicated, and stable, and weight was just an unfortunate side effect. But I feel so ashamed of myself and genuinely SCARED about these pictures.

Can anyone relate? Any words of advice?

I really don't have any advise, I was hoping to lose about 20 lbs for my e-shoot (next week) but didn't..so I'm very scared, insecure and self-conscious about taking these pics (pleaseee no double chin)..HOWEVER.. your FH loves you for YOU and your mental health is VERY important. Find an outfit that makes you feel sexy af and I think you will rock it and look beautiful

I am feeling the same way - I just know that no matter what my FH is going to love me and think I am beautiful.

Have you tried exercising recently? I'm not saying as in a way to lose the weight but I know when I run or do yoga that it makes me feel much more at peace with my body. Even meditation can help. Just try to remember that you are beautiful and your pictures will be gorgeous no matter what size you are.

Go buy yourself a new outfit, get your hair done and wear make up you feel most comfortable in. Your happiness will shine through. Since meeting my FH I have put on a whopping 50lbs, solely due to poor eating and slower metabolism. At first I was excited about the engagement photos until I thought about my weight. Luckily, photographers know all of the right angles. My photographer took easily 150 photos. Out of the photos I liked about 20, loved about 5. But hey, that's more pictures than my FH and I had together anyways!

Long story short, beauty is a reflection of happiness. 20lbs won't make a difference, but your mood will. As long as you're healthy and stable that's what matters, not your dress size.

Get the pictures done. This is a magical time. You won't like all of them but you're bound to like a few.

Take care!

I have previously been on medications that have helped, but made me feel much better. The most important thing to remember is your FH loves you for you! Find an outfit that you feel comfortable in. If you have a professional photographer, they will know how to frame the pictures that will be flattering. Remember that we are our own worst critics when it comes to body image.

Yep definitely in the same boat. We got our e pics done in October (I have gained about 20 pounds since we first met) some of the pics that I think I look horrible in are some of FH favorites. Sometimes it's hard to keep in mind that he loves me for who I am and I am always beautiful to him...no matter what I think. Go get yourself an outfit you feel beautiful and comfortable in. Some of your shots will be full body, some will be head shots. You will have pics you love.

The pictures might be a real confidence booster for you. A good photographer is going to find all of your best angles to make you look amazing no matter what.

I agree - I got my makeup done for my engagement photos and maybe liked 4-5 out of the 100 or so she took, but it was enough to put in some frames and on the save the dates! I would also maybe mention it to your photographer, she may be able to help with making you feel more comfortable.

Ps. My FH reminded me over and over and over again during the photo shoot how beautiful I was. I had told him my worries so he made sure to reassure me the entire session. It helped SO much. I actually enjoyed the shoot. Make sure you're FH knows your hesitation and flat out ask for him to reassure you during the shoot.

Thank y'all for the nice words and advice! I promised to take myself to the mall on Friday while FH is at work to find a nice dress that I feel extra beautiful in. I bought myself new makeup and new jewelry for the photos, too. Luckily my photographer is awesome so I'm praying she'll know what angles are the most flattering for me!

Leah, you are awesome. Thank you.

Thanks for posting this thread! I'm in the same boat. I even asked my FH if we could cancel the engagement photos I'm starting to shop for outfits now, so it's great to see all this advice.

I'm glad you are getting the help you need and are more comfortable and not in danger. That's a big fucking win.

You can manage the weight at some point- honestly I think getting mentally stable is huge- and if there was a small sacrifice in finding that place on the journey- then so be it. Now that you are feeling more stable- you can look at addressing the weight.

But. Before all that.

The biggest thought I'd like to leave you with- right here and now- is learn to love yourself.

As you are- right here and right now.

If you are suffering from low self-esteem- I can almost promise you-as I see it all the time- people drop weight- and they feel like simply a smaller version of themselves and still feel poopy about themselves.

Self love MUST come first. Above all else.

120 pounds- 150 pounds- 200 pounds- 250 pounds- you MUST learn to love and value yourself. You are truly special and wonderful human being- no matter WHAT weight you are- what condition you are in-what hair color you have- what job- you are more than all of those things.

And your FH loves you for YOU as the beautiful person you are.

Go get a new outfit- get your hair and make up done. Discuss your concerns with your photographer and they should make you feel amazing. You got this!!!

You are not alone!! I gained about 20lbs after I met my fiance (so I know how much he really loves me! LOL) but it made me so depressed to take engagement photos. I actually decided not to, and just decided to focus on getting in shape before the wedding. But my fiance could tell that I was disappointed, so we just decided to push them back. Nothing says you have to take them right when you get engaged! We got engaged in August, and are taking our EP's next weekend. So, we will send our save the dates out in April, which is totally fine. And in the meantime I've lost over 10lbs! If you don't want to push them back, just wear something flowy and ask your photographer to do a lot of tight shots instead of full length!

I've got Borderline, so I completely understand where you're at with the medication. Finding the right one is truly a battle, and it takes a GIANT toll on your mental health, physical health, and relationships. I am so proud of you for getting to this point and finding something that is working for you. To me, that's worth gaining or losing all the weight in the world. You are going to be happy, and nothing is more important than that.

That being said, I understand. My medication has done the opposite for me. I've lost too much weight, and my family has even made comments that I'm not going to look good on my wedding day because I'm "all bone and no meat." I'm really self-conscious about it. The day I tried my wedding dress on, that was the first thing out of my mother's mouth. And all I could think about was, "god, everyone is going to be staring at my hip bones when I'm walking down the aisle", and I've got to tell you something right now: that is SO not true. If you're happy and healthy, that will show. No one, NO ONE, is going to look at those pictures, or look at you on your wedding day, and think "wow, she gained weight." They are going to think, "she looks so happy" or "she looks so strong" or "god she's GLOWING." I promise. I promise promise promise you, you're going to look and feel beautiful. And a good photographer will make you see that, too.

I've had the weight yo-yo my whole life. Mostly I was up, but there was a few years where I had lost 80 lbs and was super happy with life and myself. After my wedding, I gained 30 lbs from eating, laziness, and newly-wedded bliss. A couple of months later, I got pregnant and gained another 50 lbs. So, back up the 80 lbs I had worked so hard to lose.

Every time I see a picture of me holding my baby (10 months old, time goes by so fast!!) or my husband, I want to slap myself. Why is it so hard to lose the weight this time?

On the other hand, I look at those picture and cherish them. It's my family, and they love me. They love me soooosososo much! I would rather have these pictures of me being heavy, than not have them. I want to be able to *show* my daughter how much I loved her when she was a baby, not just tell her.

Your FH loves you for you. I know it's hard to be confident when you've gained weight. Instead of focusing on the fluffy bits in the pictures, focus on the fun, laughter, and love that shines through in the photos. You won't regret it.

@JoRocka, your response is so sweet and you actually made me tear up! Thank you. And you're very right. Gaining weight was a small sacrifice to get where I am now. I'm barely even the same person that I was since last October, the medication has made THAT MUCH of a difference.

ETA I also want to say thank you to Annuhlee and Sarah for your responses! It's nice to know I'm not alone and that people actually understand. This is the best community! Thanks so much to everyone!

This really is a great community! I think you will really enjoy your photoshoot!

When I saw some.of the pictures from the e shoot I got super depressed because I only saw "fat" . Everyone else told me it was all in my head and that I looked amazing. Camera deff does make you look. larger. But make sure you were something that will help "hide" some of your insecurities .