Strip Clubs for Bachelor Parties

I don't really know what the plan is for my FH bachelor party. That is up to his best man and groomsmen really. He is not really into strip clubs (because he doesn't think giving away his hard earned money to a dancer is worth it...lol), but I wouldn't be mad if he did. I'm pretty sure my bachelorette party is going to have us going to a male review. My FH knows and is okay with it. Again this is something WE are comfortable with as a couple. I don't think you are a party pooper at all, but how does your FH feel about this. His opinion matters the most.

If my partner went to a strip club for his bachelr party, it clearly would mean he doesn't know me well enough to marry me. I wouldn't expect to have that conversation so late in the game.

Nor do his friends have any respect for me. Which isn't good either.

This topic always gets me heated. There are too many variables and very strong opinions. It's never going to be an issue that can be agreed upon by everyone because everyone was raised differently, has different morals, personalities, and relationships.

My mistake of ambiguity. Of course, getting turned on is not cheating; it is autonomic. I agree with Q&S. Sorry.

My definition relates the the physical qualities of having a lap dance. When people have affairs, they are often just physical instances of "cheating," with no emotional ties--which I see as being analogous to having a stripper provide physical services.

Yes, there are many variables.

But honestly, threads like this just make me so so happy that I have no trust issues whatsoever with DH. I have had guys in the past I don't trust, and wouldn't want to go do things like this, but I could literally throw DH into a pool full of naked girls and feel just fine about it.

Not even exaggerating. I never thought it was in my ability to trust someone this much, but when I met him, I did.

I remember being 22 and not trusting my boyfriend, even though I thought I did. It sucked and took up a lot of energy. This is much, much better now.

O&S - You took the words right out of my mouth

"My FH doesn't like strip clubs, he thinks they're gross"

Sorry, O&S, no glasses today.

I guess my point is that I'm not really concerned about her perspective. It's that your SO is seeking physical sexual gratification from someone else. Whether she is paid or not seems irrelevant.

I think it goes both ways, too. If I had a male stripper give me a lap dance, I would feel as though I was unfaithful to FH.

.

"Its that your SO is seeking physical sexual gratification from someone else."

Um. He's looking, not touching, and definitely not getting off to them. How is that sexual gratification? If anything, it makes him want to jump me more when we get home.

ETA: The lap dances I got from male and female strippers were fun, made for good conversation, and made me want to see DH. I was not cheating or unfaithful.

It doesn't make you insecure or threatened to feel uncomfortable with him going to a strip club. I've been to them before and one of my guy friends received a private lap dance, in a back room, for twenty five minutes. I wouldn't be comfortable with FH doing the same. For some people, they don't care, and I don't judge them for that.

My FH doesn't want to go to a strip club for his bachelor party, so this scenario hasn't came up.

I would like to think if something makes you uncomfortable you're FH isn't going to want to make you feel that way. You're not vetoing his decision by admitting how you feel. Don't let anyone try and make you feel crazy for feeling uncomfortable in a certain situation. Kudos to you for being able to express your feelings to your FH and him listen.

ETA: I know not everyone is going to get a private lap dance at a strip club lol

Mrs. Faith, I'm not talking about looking. I am talking about a lap dance. I agree that looking is nothing worse than porn, or ads.

If one person in the relationship is uncomfortable with it then I think it's wrong for the other person to go to a strip club anyway. You shouldn't have to "get over it." If both people are fine with it then go do your thing! As for me, FH wouldn't go because it makes us both uncomfortable. Plain as that.

I'm sure they just go there for the conversation. No sexual gratification...nope, nope, nope.

Thankfully my fiancé isn't into all of that. His groomsman are thinking of a surf trip to Puerto Rico.

They're al avid surfers so the bachelor party will be on the beach somewhere with waves and lots of beer.

No Kari I actually wouldn't. But thanks for trying to voice my opinion for me.

Strip clubs are a waste of money when you are in a committed relationship, because your paying for something that you have an unlimited supply of at home.

so in a lot of ways its like me buying wine at a bar or restaurant. my fridge, my mini fridge, my wine cooler, and my wine rack is full of the stuff, but when I go out I still buy $12 glasses.

Ditto to what Celia said.

Additionally, FH doesn't like them but has gone to them for other bachelor parties and hated them. I'm more concerned about germs than anything else since I've heard some disgusting stories. I would never stop him from going if he wanted to but I can't imagine a senario in which he would change his views on strip clubs. If he does go my biggest requirement is that he takes a shower before touching anything in our apartment upon his return. My germaphobia would be on full alert.

My ex went to a strip club for a bachelor party and they bought the groom a BJ. They found nothing wrong with it "because it's his last night as a single man" and I disagree. My FH hasn't been single since he asked me to be his GF so that's not really a good excuse. While strip clubs usually have rules on how far things can go in the private rooms, they can't control what a stripper does during breaks or when not working. The girl they hired for the BJ took a 'smoke break' and performed the services in their car.

@Rebecca a lot of times in relationship when one person wants one thing and the other disagrees instead of compromising one person (the rship boss LOL) puts there foot down/ vetos/ etc. Then goes to public forums to hear how they are right. When instead you should be LEARNING how to compromise with your future spouse so that they don't get tired of you running their life and divorce you after 10 years. IJS.

Woah woah woah. I don't know about you guys but MY FH will only go up in my presence. Period.

heh (kidding again)

I am, however getting tired of the pro-stripper people assuming that every chick who doesn't want her FH in a strip club automatically has "trust issues." It does sound like some posters here do have some deeper shit going on but that doesn't apply to everyone. I think you can be uncomfy with the idea of a stripper all over your loved one and not need counseling.

I think each couple needs to set their own boundaries, and they will be different from those of other couples. However I think it's too big of a leap to assume that men want to go to strip clubs for their bachelor party as a last hurrah. No, if they want to bang someone else at their bachelor party that would be a last hurrah. Strip clubs are entertainment and dancers aren't looking to get physical with your man or any of them men who come into their clubs. Going to a strip club doesn't mean you aren't committed to and faithful to your partner.