Strip Clubs for Bachelor Parties

Before FH and I were engaged, he told me about a bachelor party he went to for his friend's wedding years ago before we met. Most of them went into a strip club at the end of the night but he and another guy who were in committed relationships at the time (this was FH's ex-girlfriend), chose to go hit up another pub instead. FH says he feels like paying for women to arouse you and grind on you is one step away from paying a prostitute.

Also, for me, it's not an insecurity thing. I know FH loves me and we are both incredibly attracted to one another. There will always be other more attractive females out there than me and it's something I don't give two hoots about. Sure, FH's go to strip clubs a lot for bachelor parties but that often leaves their FW's at home feeling upset and uncomfortable. Why is this ok? Again, if both the bride and groom are ok with it, then that's different but I'm hearing about a lot of grooms going despite their FW's not being happy about it. In my book, that would be considered cheating and would be a deal-breaker for me.

I'm positive mine will go to a strip club bc his friends will take him- He's doing a destination weekend in New Orleans.

But, I can't say that I'm super comfortable with the idea either.... But, I'm sure he'll get a lap dance or two and we'll still end up married.

I honestly don't even get the concept; you're about to get married so lets all get together and pay for random naked women to give you a lap dance. It doesn't even make any sense. And honestly? If my person wanted to do that? I'd think differently about him, not in a jealous way, but in a "you think that's fun?" way.

But that's me.....my partner would probably go to a scotch bar and The Math Museum. Not in that order....

I went to the strip club for my bachelorette. We watched male and female dancers. We all had a blast, and DH laughed about some of the crazy stories I told him.

I really don't see any problem with them.

ETA- DH and I have gone to strip clubs together in the past. It's literally just dancing. It's not prostitution or cheating. You're not allowed to touch the dancers anyways, so how is watching someone naked in front of you any different from watching porn?

I don't feel like its about brides feeling insecure or threatened at all. I think it is a respect issue. Under no circumstances would it be ok for my FH or myself to be watching/touching another naked person. Society has given men the excuse that "Every guy does it so it's ok". No, it's not ok to completely disrespect your partner. If a woman is upset about the idea of her man going to a strip club she shouldn't be labeled a bitch or anything else. All she is asking is that he respects their relationship and bond.

If both parties are 100% ok with it then I see no issue as that is a choice that the couples makes together.

My FH is going to one and obviously I loathe the idea but what can you do

My FH is going to go to the shooting range to blow up some shit and then going for some beers and dinner. He said no strip club

OH GOD the Lifesavers!!!

Honestly I am not 100% down with the idea of FH going to a strip club, I am not a fan of going to them myself - but he's an adult and I trust him. I just don't want to hear about it after; unless of course he did something that was hurtful.

Katie - They can't touch the strippers...Strippers are the only ones that can do the touching

Well not at a strip club around here. Male strippers are different, they allow women touch them, men can't touch female strippers

My fiance doesn't care about strip clubs, they aren't his thing. So telling him I am not comfortable with it is not effecting him one way or another. He doesn't even care to have a bachelor party at all. If I'm not comfortable with it and its not even his thing then to me it makes sense to just not go. Its not about insecurity. I know he watches porn and I'm ok with it. The touching and lap dancing is what makes me uncomfortable.

Katie you nailed it. Even if he can't touch them it's still not ok. I agree, just because society says it's ok, it's the norm, doesn't mean it has to be the norm in my house.

Let me ask you this...what exactly bothers you about it? That your FH is looking at other woman aside from you naked? If he's a porn watcher....he's already done that. Or even just on the street. That aside. Strippers do not want husbands, they want to get paid; just like everyone else. Sexual favours are actually really hard to come by. The girl in question could lose her job if she was found out. For it to even be considered, she would have to really like the client or he would have to be offering tens of thousands of dollars...and that's still no guarantee. Its not like they're an escort service. They arent paid to screw. Most bachelor parties are thought of as obnoxious anyways, because there is always that one guy who is looking to get banged, get the groom banged or a bj. Look chances are your man isn't going to some skeez little club where a girl is brand new and will do anything to pay her stage fees (in a run down, rough part of down). Whether believe it or not most Strippers do have tact. Not to mention are well educated and have a boyfriend or husband or their own. I have a girl who works part time for me and she is a stripper at an elite club here. Sweet girl, has a BSN, and has her life together. She just enjoys being a stripper. FH and I also have several friends who work mid level to elite clubs. All the girls are very professional. You wouldn't know they were Strippers unless you happened upon them at the clubs they are employed by. Honestly there is nothing to worry about. (If you would like to know, I got all of this from my employee) Not to mention, their drink specials are usually AWESEOME.

Yea, strip club bouncers are some of the strictest anywhere. If you look at a stripper wrong, you're out. They have pretty strict rules on what can/can't be done unless it's some skeezy, gross, cheap place which FH wouldn't ever go to.

My friend almost called off her wedding because she found out her fiance went to the strip club. She was screaming and crying and said she couldn't marry him because of it. I think she is insane, frankly. The bachelor doesn't plan the bachelor party. It can happen. It's better you know about it than have him lie about it. FH probably would have no problem NOT going to one if I felt weird about, he's not the one planning the party though. He also told me that he has never been aroused at a strip club and it's just fun and social. I feel the same when I go to a strip club.

Celia, I would totally need to go to the Scotch Bar before the Math Museum lol

DH hasn't ever been a fan. He went twice. Once when he was first old enough to go and again for a friend's bachelor party. He ended up leaving both pretty quickly. I trust him not to do anything that would risk our relationship or trust. Not to mention he likes to be careful with his money so he wouldn't be willing to spend enough to get himself in any trouble. None of his groomsmen are big fans of strip clubs either and he made it pretty clear that he didn't want a stripper at his bachelor party. His BIL actually skipped attending it due to the lack of strippers, but that's an entirely different story. The instead went out to dinner, hit a few bars and then went to play pool until about 2am. Afterwards they went to BM's house to play video games and pass out.

I personally dony have an issue with it. FH's sister wants I think take me to a strip club for my party. I would be a giant ball of hypocritical mass if I went and then had an issue with him going. But unless someone drags him there... He won't go. He isn't into it. Shrug. Whatever. I feel pretty ambivalent either way. Fine if he does. Fine if he doesn't. I think he would be more annoyed with me having strippers than me with him.

Ha! I'm sure FH wants to go to one, no, I KNOW he wants to. He also knows I am not okay with that and would never ever allow that! His friends know that and know that it would end very badly if they were to take him.

I always had a lot of guy friends and ended up at more strip clubs then I'd like to admit. The nicer ones and the not so nice ones. I can tell you that there's no way I would allow that. It's gross. Sorry not sorry. You're not paying to have someone grind up on you before we get married. It's super disrespectful to me. I reminded him that those are someone's daughters and how he would like it if our daughter was doing that when she turns 18. Honestly I don't think that logic would work if we didn't have our daughter lol. I know if I went to a male strip club FH would lose his mind! Lol.

Ps. Don't believe they can't touch the strippers. Honestly after going to many. Some absolutely have zero issue with it, one actually encouraged us one specific instance. Every place and specific stripper is different.

My FH is going to Las Vegas for his bachelor party (weekend) so I know they will visit a strip club. The idea never bothered me. I know my girls are going to bring a male stripper to mine and while I've never been interested in male strippers, I know we all will have a great time.

My FH and I have had this conversation a few times. I'm completely uncomfortable with it. For me, like Katie said, it's a respect thing. Why are you going to go watch half naked girls, have them grind up on you, and then...nothing? Blue balls are enjoyable in what way...cuz I'm sure as hell not taking care of that when the night is over.

Luckily for me, this is not his cup of tea. He also didn't go to a few bachelor parties where there were strippers at hotels. He'd rather go to a Blackhawks game and then bar hop in Chicago than have a girl grind on him which is totally fine with me.

DH has never been to a strip club, ever. He has no desire to even. He takes the stance of "it's not fun if I have to pay and I can't take it home". I wouldn't mind if he goes to one. I have a gut feeling he would be so uncomfortable that he would leave early. He's a prude.