Strip Clubs for Bachelor Parties

For me, FH going to a strip club really doesn't bother me in the least.

He went to a weekend in Vegas for a bachelor party and all of his friends FW gave them rules. He said I was the only one who didn't tell him things he couldn't do. Which really made me laugh, if a guy is going to do something you telling them not to or that you aren't comfortable with it isn't going to stop them. I trust FH and if he wants to go do something have at it, I'm not his mother. I can't tell him what he can and cannot do.

Just talk to him about it, have an open line of communication, let him know why it bothers you, and be prepared and willing to listen as to why he wants that to be included in his bachelor party, that's really all you can do.

If a FH and FW have talked about this and have both agreed that there would be no strip clubs and then he goes anyway, then that is a total breach of trust and cause for WWII in my book. If there's going to be strippers involved in a bachelor or bachelorette party, I feel like that should be agreed upon in advance to save stress, hurt feelings and loss of trust.

ETA: Words

Yep. @Andilynne. Bachelor parties are the most obnoxious at strip clubs--very little money to spend, the girls don't like to dance for them or spend more time with them then they have to.

I use to know a few girls that danced, some had normal lives, others had kids, still others were putting themselves through school. You just never know.

A lot of the girls that work there have boyfriends or husbands, They aren't looking for a new guy, a thrill or anything other than cash.

Katie- I'm failing to see how that makes someone lose their trust?

If he went and lied about it, sure! But FH doesn't have to not experience something just because their FW feels uncomfortable about it.

You voice your concerns and feelings and they are still human and allowed to do as they choose. You seem to think that by sharing your concerns, your FH will feel the same way and that's not the case.

Jeez. Some of you seem to keep your fiances on a tight leash. Not good.

I have nothing super significant to say here. However, the more you tell someone they are forbidden from doing something...the more likely they are to do it. FH and I had a couple as a mutual friend. She was always telling the dude "don't cheat on me" "you're going out to cheat on me when youre out with your friends" "your friends encourage you to cheat on me" etc.

It took 5 years of her nagging before he finally did it. Got pissed (drunk and angry) at a local bar one night and took two girls home. Of course he told his gal the next day. But he concluded with "I wasn't ever unfaithful until you made me this way. You've bitched so long and hard about it, I started to believe I'm a piece of shit". At least most guys cant afford to take a stripper home...

Being a stripper takes loads of talent. I would go with my husband if he wanted to go. If he wanted to go with his friends, that's fine. He's still coming home to me at the end of the night. For everybody saying they wouldn't let their SO go to one, let's flip the switch. Have you been to a strip club? How about a show like thunder from down under?

Let him know you're nervous and uncomfortable with it. You're not wrong to feel the way you do. It's okay to feel that way. Just be honest with him and have him be honest with you.

Strip clubs don't bother me, but my husband had no desire to go to one. Maybe I would feel different if he did, I don't know, but just trust your partner and communicate.

If my FH goes to a strip club for his bachelor party, it wouldn't bother me. I see it more as a bonding thing with friends than as a sexual thing. I would however be upset if he was getting dances in a private VIP room or had strippers in a hotel room. My girls are taking me to see Thunder From Down Under for my bachelorette. To me, it will just be a fun time being silly with my friends and sister. I don't see it as some last chance to check out other men or anything, so I give my FH the same benefit of the doubt that I know he's giving me.

I honestly don't care. I used to before I met FH, but I fully trust FH. It's a job (as icky as it is), it's all an act. I don't think they get pleasure out of what they do. FH doesn't like strip clubs, I've been to a male strip club and the idea of some mans sweaty, stinky junk being anywhere near me is not something I find fun. Up close and personal isn't fun, but from afar it's really fun to watch. We both aren't into the idea of it for our bachelor and bachelorettes. I wouldn't care if there were, though and neither does he. He's a grown man who knows when to stop if it's crossing the line.

They are going to do it yes it is gross but these girls are not prize at the end of the night as long as he is coming home to me I'm fine with it

I don't think it's really a trust issue; I doubt that anyone who posted honestly thinks they'll lose their fiance to a stripper. It's more a 'I know that makes her crazy but I'm going to do it anyway" issue. Like buying a 1000.00 gun. Except with the added festivity of nudity.

I think the thing that really bothers me, aside from the naked paid stranger aspect is the BS 'last night of freedom' thing. If a man really feels like that, he should stay 'free'.

I told FH I would cancel our wedding. Some people are okay with it and that's great but in my eyes it's cheating. I'd never be able to stop thinking about it.. I'd be so hurt and disrespected. He has no desire to go, however.. I'm sure his friends will try their best to to pressure him unfortunately

My Fiance and I are both going to Vegas for our BPs next month... I am sure he will be going to a strip club (as a lot Bachelors do) and it doesn't bother me at all. I trust him and if that's what his BM has planned for him, I am ok with it.

My Bridesmaid already got us our tickets for Chippendales... I am sure it will be a great time.

No need to worry about FH. He wants to host a DND game with his friends and drink beer. Nerd solutions my friends.

You would cancel your wedding, just for him setting foot in one? I couldn't imagine having to walk a thin line in my marriage.

I have never particularly liked the thought of him at a strip club, but I'm not going to sit there and tell him what he can and can't do.

Maybe a year ago, I went to a Thunder from Down Under type show with some friends. It was hilarious and fun and FH didn't say a word. It also had absolutely no impact on my relationship.

Celia- I couldn't agree with you more. I have never understood bachelor/bachelorette parties like that.

A strip club is what it is that's the kind of things that happen in those clubs. It's not the same thing as outside of a club that's comparing apples and oranges. As for the grinding on top of him, I would just have a talk with them they can go to the club without him getting a lap dance. Personally it doesn't bother me at all, but then I've known lots of people in the industry. To me it's just whatever it's their job. But the whole debate of whether or not it's okay that really has nothing to do with it. If it bothers you that much and you're that upset about the idea of him going then I would speak to him lots of people feel that way. This won't be the first thing that he may want to do that you don't like, so my suggestion is that you discuss it and deal with the situation..

Canceling a wedding over a strip club? Does that mean you would also cancel for him watching a porn video? Same concept except one is just in person, but hey they do also have live sex shows in places.

I think giving an ultimatum like that in any situation is ridiculous, really I think giving an ultimatum is ridiculous in any situation. If you have to do that, there might be something deeper your worried about and need to look at.