Strip Clubs for Bachelor Parties

Eh, I just don't think things are usually (or should ever be) that black and white. Like, if you do X, automatic divorce. I wouldn't be willing to throw away our entire relationship over one mistake because people aren't perfect. I'm not saying there aren't totally extenuating circumstances, but then it goes back to me trusting H and knowing he wouldn't betray me in a way that would make me immediately walk. To me it's not that easy, and pretending anything is in relationships is delusional.

@Ashlee It's just a very extreme thing to say. That is an ultimatum and there should be no ultimatums in marriage.

Canceling isn't the same as splitting up or divorcing. I said cancel because more often than not, the bachelor party happens within a week or two of the wedding and I know that I'd still be very upset by the time of the wedding and it would really affect me being able to enjoy my wedding. It would take a very long time for me to get over it.. Now maybe I wouldn't cancel at all. I don't know exactly what I'd do unless I got into the situation. All I know is that strip clubs are just one of those hard limits for both FH and I.

I'm not a fan of strip club bach parities. Just something about needing to see other naked women in person before getting "tied down" rubs me the wrong way. Sexual or semi-sexual activities in a large group or in public just aren't my thing either. In my mind, a good bach party is about spending time with your best guy friends. Celebrating, hanging out, and bonding before life start changing. I don't know why you need naked women to do that.

I honestly don't care if my FH goes to a strip club, I think he probably has for other friends' bachelor parties, but I don't question him about it. I know he would never cheat on me. Also, he isn't that into strip clubs or strippers, so that definitely makes it easier not to care. I also wouldn't be into going to a strip club with male or female strippers, it all just sounds awkward to me. I doubt anyone will plan a strip club trip for FH's bachelor party, they are going to Vermont for good beer and jazz. But I won't ask, so I guess if they do, I just won't know about it.

ETA: I once lived in a town that tried to close down their strip club by yanking their liquor license. The strip club didn't close, it became a dry 18-plus strip club. Amateur night was Tuesdays, I believe. People just kept beer in their cars and went out to the parking lot to pound them. It was all very seedy!

Side story for your entertainment. A year ago, FH's boss ("D") was getting married in Mexico. To give you some background, FH and I met at work when I was working for D. He was a big part of FH and I getting together. Anyway, FH was invited to his bach party. They were going to a strip club and then had private dancers for the hotel room later.

Back then, FH had his phone synced with his iPad. I was on the iPad and saw the text from D with pictures of the private strippers. He subtled it "Not as good as (me), but still alright." Ummm awkward. Later on that night, D called me drunk saying how he wanted me to be there and it would be so much fun if I was there. Poor guy doesn't remember a thing. Smh

I wouldn't have cared if DH had gone to a strip club. Lord knows we have both been before in previous lives. One time a guy friend of mine thought it was super funny to surprise buy me a lap dance. Long story short, I now know what it's like to be motorboated. #lifeexperience

FH's idea of a good time isn't a strip club and neither is mine. Completely personal preference. He doesn't want to do that for his bachelor party and his best man knows that.

However, he has a couple friends getting married this year and I'm pretty sure they'll want to go to a strip club for their bachelor parties. I'm 100% fine with FH going because I trust him to act responsibly and make good decisions. I would trust FH to do the right thing if he was locked in a room with a naked girl throwing herself at him, where there was no chance of anyone else finding out. I have that level of trust for him and I KNOW his character inside and out... that's why I'm marrying him.

If my FH went to a strip club, it wouldn't bother me. I trust him, I know he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me. Strippers are there to make money, not to "steal my man". If I felt uncomfortable about him going, I would tell him, but I wouldn't tell him not to go. He's an adult, has been for a while now, and can make his own decisions. It's all in fun, no big deal to me.

O&S - "That is like where strippers go to die"

Bahahahahahaha

Nope. If he went, he knows there would be no wedding

I'm not sure if he is, but I'm gonna guess so. I know I am, though. There's one in my city with one of the best late night breakfast buffets and highest sanitation scores around. The dancers are wack, but I don't care. I'm there for the hash browns, not the ta-tas. lol

Bachelor parties (and bachelorette parties) that have strippers and what not are just excuses for that person and their guests who are in relationships/married to do what they want in the name of leaving the single life behind which doesn't actually make SENSE because if you're already committed to someone you left the single life LONG AGO.

And by the way...I don't agree with the argument "well you obviously don't trust him.." Um excuse me but my relationship has boundaries and strippers are way on the other side of that line. Good day sir.

It won't bother me if he goes to a strip club for his bp. Like Tina said, they're making a living, not looking for a date. We've been together for 14 years. In that span he's been invited to a few bachelor parties. Some sometimes they went to a club, sometimes they didn't. I certainly wasn't going to tell him he couldn't attend the ones that did.

Honestly, I'm fine with FH going for his bachelor party. When I told him that, he made a face and said strip clubs seemed "incredibly uncomfortable". Lol. The way I look at it is, he has internet access and anything he sees in a strip club would be pretty mild compared to what he could find on the internet and I don't monitor his internet history. Same goes for hotel room strippers. They might have less rules than the ones at clubs, but I completely trust him not to do anything that would hurt me.

I know he started talking about his bachelor party with his BM. I think they want to go white water rafting, maybe shooting, maybe hiking, and then definitely get drunk and party.

The number of girls on here who have said things along the lines of "I would cancel the wedding" and "I put my foot down and said no" worries me. Its ok to not want your FH to go to a strip club, but it shouldn't be an ultimatum, it should be a conversation.

Damn there are some Judgey McHighhorses in this thread.

@O&S there are dry strip clubs near me. I have never been because it weirds me out. Strip club? Lets go. Dry strip club? No thanks.

I told FH no lap dances. His bachelor party is to go to a Mariners game, and the crowd taking him probably won't go to a strip club anyway, but that's where my line is, personally. Watching strippers from 10+ feet away is very different from having one on your lap.

IMO if you're adamant about this and your FH ignores you, I'm not sure I'd advise marriage. Fidelity and trust are kind of big deal items.