Strippers and bachelor/bachelorette party

My FH is not into strippers either. I just hope his GM respect his wishes. I dont care if he has strippers or not i trust him.

I have no issue with strippers, if FH wants one, I completely trust him to act appropriately. Trust is super important. I personally don't plan on male strippers at my bachelorette but I honestly think its up to the both of you. You should talk with each other about it.

I didn't care if my husband had strippers at his party because I trusted him...but he had a problem with it and wanted to make sure not to be put in that situation. So we had a combo bachelor/bachelorette party since we have the same friends anyways. We did dinner and a bar crawl to a house afterparty.

If you completely trust him, you should trust that he won't do anything disrespectful with a stripper. It's not really his fault what his friends set up.

The biggest issue I have with this post is the obvious lack of communication between you two. He's anxious about seeing you upset so he wouldn't be truthful with you about something? You're setting yourselves up for issues later on. These kinds of things HAVE to be discussed. Get some premarital counseling and learn how to effectively communicate with each other.

Not trying to sound mean, but reading your post makes me feel like you're trying to convince yourself that you trust him, when deep down you don't fully. If you honestly think your FH will throw away your relationship over a stripper then you need to have a serious conversation. He should be able to tell you if there is a stripper, and you shouldn't be too angry because his guys planned it not him. I know my FH isn't a fan of strippers/ strip clubs, and has been to them for other guys bachelor parties. I have a feeling his guys are going to hire one for his bachelor weekend getaway and it's fine. I told the guys they can do whatever they want just FH better not come back with a tattoo on his face.

Either you trust him or you don't. Sorry. My FH has been to one strip club before we were engaged for another guy's bachelor party and honestly I had thought I'd feel weird about it but I didn't because I trust my FH (or I wouldn't be marrying him) and he's smart and mature enough to handle it because he had me waiting for him at home. He even told me that it really wasn't that sexy because the girls were sweaty and kinda gross. The only reason I would be annoyed if he had a stripper for his bachelor party is because it's completely not his style, so I'd feel like his friends would have hijacked his bachelor party, but FH was also capable of making decent friends who will listen to what he wants.

If you already have trust issues that involve you having negative feelings toward his friends and already have severe enough jealousy issues, I think you need to address that before you walk down the aisle. So many fights are in your future if you and your FH don't communicate what upsets you and what things would be deal breakers for either one of you, which quite frankly are conversations you should've been having before you got engaged. It sounds like he's afraid to communicate with you, which kind of implies that you have lost your shit at him before, whether or not it was for something reasonable, who knows. This barrier you have is going to get even bigger if you don't talk things out now.

If you cant trust him and he cant make "good" decisions when he is with his friend then you have more problems then strippers....

I said no strippers. And he said no strippers for me. We are not prudes or insecure. His last night out should include hanging out with his friends getting drunk and doing "stupid" boy stuff. Not spending money on some half naked girl who is not me ;]

Also porn is free.

I'm thinking your real problem is trust. If you trust him then you need to trust he will make the right decision. And that's not saying the right decision is not getting strippers. You need to trust that he will be faithful and trustworthy, your already doubting him and you should of never let it get that far. I don't like the whole stripper thing either but if my FH happened to do that,then I trust him to be faithful. If your having doubts then that's something that needs to be taken care of now.

What happens when you guys are married and he goes out with the guys for another friends bachelor party and they have strippers? He can't control that but he can control his respect for you relationship. You need to trust him on a daily basis, if he was going to "mess up" that's something that can happen any day of the week. You need to give him ALL your trust!!!!!

If your FH isn't assertive enough to tell his friends absolutely no, or walk out if there are strippers present, I would be questioning what else they could talk him into other than that.

That said, neither DF nor I care for strippers. We both share the opinion that they are disrespectful to the relationship. If DF was going to have a bachelor party, I can guarantee that he would turn around and walk out if there were strippers present. That's just the kind of person he is. I trust him to do that, and to be the person I know he is.

If you can't say the same for your FH, there is an issue bigger than if his friends are going to take him to see strippers or not.

Oh, and telling people no rude comments is a really good way to get rude comments.

Please dont pull the Christian card. I hate when people blame their faith on why they have a problem with strip clubs or strippers. If you were all about your faith then you must be a virgin. If you don't trust him don't marry him. If he doesn't tell his boys that he doesn't want strippers then that means he does. If he doesn't walk out if they come anyway then that means he wants them. Don't be fooled. Just because he said he doesn't want it doesn't mean that's true. If someone really doesn't want something they will make sure it doesn't happen.

What is there to be rude about? Anyway, if you are both true to your beliefs, I wouldn't worry about anything happening....but i guess that depends of your perception of what may happen

You trust him....but you don't.... and your are worried that something might happen with a stripper...but you're ready to marry him...

It's kind of hard to see where you are wanting advice... if you don't trust him around strippers for a bachelor party..I would suggest rethinking marriage. If you think he would lie to you about it... I would suggest rethinking marriage...

I don't think religion is the problem here, it's trust. You either trust FH or you don't and that needs to be figured out before you get married or you're in big trouble. Personally I think strip clubs are sad because I can't help wondering what happened in those girl's lives to bring them to this point. I know my FH had been to strip clubs for other guy's bachelor parties because he tells me all about it. At one there are another guy who made the whole party promise to never bring it up because his wife would kill him... the lying is a much bigger problem to me than going to the club. It sounds like you guys need to do some premartial counseling to figure out your communication and trust issues

I have has trust issue in the past and I have gone to Counseling. So the question is if you are so scared that your FH might not tell you the truth on what he did with his friends then you need to stop the wedding and go get help.. I'm sorry but if you have trust issues then your marriage will not work cause when ever he wants to have a guys night you will be calling him to see what he is doing.. to be happy you have to get help ASAP if you really love this man. Because if he loves you and trust you he will not do anything to hurt you..

You haven't responded to any posts while everyone is trying to open your eyes and help you. Did you really want help or were you just venting

......A lot of people have touched on some points I would make however my other "advice" is to make your own plans with your friends for when he does go out.....if you're dreading this, don't sit at home alone and assume the worst, go out with your friends and take your mind off it (though yes, I agree with others IF this makes you uncomfortable you should be able to say so and then he should respect your wishes and if something occurs he should be able to handle it appropriately and tell you, ya know? :/)

Congratulations, you're a Christian. Don't know why you had to tell us that, but I recommend premarital counseling ASAP. This isn't even really about the stripper more so that you don't trust him. That needs to be resolved before you walk down that aisle. You have trust issues and he's afraid to tell you things? Bad, bad news.

So I'm a minority. I don't have an issue with strippers. Of either gender.

I would not have cared if he went out to a strip club. The trust issues and the he might not tell you are a way bigger issue. You need to be in the same page.

If your FH doesn't want strippers, then I agree that his friends should not hire strippers, but that's not why you're posting I guess.

If you trust FH completely, then trust him if he is around strippers. My husband has gone to strip clubs a few times since we've been married, and it does not bother me (well I mean, it does because I think they're gross). But it doesn't bother me in that I trust my husband, and I truly don't believe he would do anything really bad.

Again - trust your FH. I agree with others too that if he wanted to cheat, he could cheat, strippers or not. Just because they're a stripper does not mean that they're out to sleep with/do other sexual things with every customer they meet.