Strippers vs. no strippers...

I have so much fun at the strip club. It's funny to watch some of the guys. FI goes every now and again and I know he'll be going at some point before the wedding. Doesn't bother me - even if he was single those strippers aren't there to sleep with him, they're there to take his money!

However,like yada said, if it bothers you then you should definitely have the conversation and come up with a compromise. Remember it's his wedding too

@Brandy - i think the bad taste came from the ex-husband not the stripper right?

Yea all about the ex husband... thats why he's the ex husband lol it's all about TRUST! and if you got that than no worries right!

I dont approve of him routinely going, however he probably will for his bach party, because we do have a solid agreement. No strip clubs EXCEPT for bachelor parties. And I deal with my insecurities for the night when those things arrise. We're hopefully going to have our parties on the same night in different cities, so that we arent thinking about it. Honestly, I'd love for him not to go there, but with his friends- there's no way that's gonna happen. Besides, they'll be too drunk before they get there for much trouble to happen anyway!

If you trust your FH there shouldn't be a problem with it. The strippers aren't there to steal your guy, they are there to get paid. I don't have a problem with my DH looking at another girl, I know that I'm the one he's coming home to every night. He's the same way, he doesn't care if I think another guy looks good cause I love him and he's the only one I'm going to be with at the end of the day.

But if you really have a problem with it then you need to talk to him about it. Don't just hold it in cause sooner or later you'll explode.

I don't want a stripper at my baccalaureate party but I don't mind if my FH goes to a strip club for his... i know they will... there is a place here that also serves steak... steak and strippers! what a party! haha! I watched some pole dancing thing on youtube the other day and was so impressed! My friend and I are going to go take lessons!

I said if you have a stripper I will too lol. Neither of us wanted the other to have one. He said he hated the thought of another guy stripping for me or giving me a lap dance even though he trusts me and I said I felt the same about him seeing a stripper. We both told the MOH and BM no strippers. He should respect your wishes

Talk to him....i decided to confront my fh about it and i thought he was going to think i was crazy but to my suprise, he didnt want me to have one either...so we r celebrating it together ....

I think what grabs my attention about this post is that everyone seems to view this as a trust issue... it's not. It would be about a trust issue if he was going out with a bunch of guys & ran into an ex-girlfriend. This is about your man looking at other naked women. This might be a little TMI, but I most definitely don't let my man watch (or read) porn... why would I ever let him go to a strip club? If he is truly in love with you, why would your man look at someone else's boobs as "entertainment". I really do not mean to offend anyone... this is absolutely not my intention. I just want to point out that just because strippers are not allowed in our relationship certainly doesn't mean that we have a trust issue. It simply means that we respect each other enough to leave that out of our relationship. To each their own, but this is where I stand.

Danielle, the reason I think many of us view this as a trust issue is because we are not worried about our man LOOKING at the stripper, but rather DOING anything with her. Or maybe that's just me.

I totally agree with you OP. I feel exactly the same. I told my FH - if there are strippers at your bachelor party, there would be no wedding, period. I will NOT marry a guy whose idea of hanging out with the boys is getting lap dances from nearly naked chick (no offense Carmen). I completely despise this profession and he knows I feel that way. I want neither me nor a person I will be sharing my life with to have anything to do with it. We talked about it and I told him exactly that. He agreed, told his groomsmen in my presense that no strippers period and they swore to me its not going to happen. I trust them/him. If I find out they lied the wedding will be off and everyone knows I don't play with this so I am pretty sure we are good.

I'm with Danielle R.

I told him no stripper.. He went to Vegas and he knew I would be very upset if he did.. I also told him the wedding would be off if he went. I don't think it's necessarily right for him to go alone and check out other women. I know he loves me, but this with me isn't about trust. He didn't want me getting a stripper walking around me with his wiener bag hanging all out, just like I didn't want him looking at other women.. Luckily, he wasn't into them and the two gm that went with him were told before they left the wedding would be off if they did.. they listened to me. I told him if I go with them, that's fine..but I don't want him all googly eyed over some other chick. That would just piss me off. And, God only knows what the 3 boys would have done at a strip club..

So, all in all, I can't say I blame you!!

@Danielle - I totally agree!! We excluded porn/strippers from our relationships so if a guy loves me and only me and respects me he won't go looking at naked boobs as entertainment knowing how much it offends me. If he did, to me it signifies lack of respect and love for me so I agree its not a trust issue.

I agree with most everyone on that one... I have absolutely NO doubt that my FH would actually do anything with a stripper. That's not my issue at all. I just think that (for us anyway) it's a respect issue. I think that looking at another woman's breasts and being "entertained" by that is cheating. My FH and I draw a very clear big, black line in our relationship. The moment you move that line to justify a man's (or woman's) actions during a party means that he'll expect you to move that line for other occasions. I didn't allow him to have a stripper at his friends' bachelor party and he completely respected that. But again, this is just my view on the whole issue.

Glad to know that I'm not totally alone on this one.

Oh man, I would hate life without porn...lol

Lol - to each their own

That's what life interesting ... (not porn...! everyone being unique

Danielle i think your points are very valid. i personally..dont like MALE strippers...i just think they are too funny..dancing in a thong all sweaty and gross. eww. Girl strippers have some pretty sweet moves though...its like live art work. LOL. But i agree when Danielle says, if your lusting in your heart..it's cheating. You always are going to find other ppl attractive but its when you start thinking or undressing them in your head and start wanting them sexually...yea thats an issue.

I agree, Sharon! LOL

Im with danielle here :]