Strippers vs. no strippers...

Personally, my fiance and I have agreed to no strippers. It is the way we both want it.

M crazy jealous (it's a human emotion), but I also trust my FH and want him to go through all the fun pre-wedding stuff cus let's face it...most of the fun isn't for the FH anyhow...they couldn't care less about centerpieces, or cake toppers or all the different shades of blue there are out there, so why not just let him have his bachelor party the way he wants?

Yeah I was talking to FH about this post and all the comments and his response was its good that the FH's and their future wives are talking about their boundaries etc but really its not up to the girls and most often its not really up to the groom either. He said the guys will plan what they will plan and sometimes they talk to the groom about it sometimes they don't. It's up to the groom to say to them what he wants or doesn't want, not the future bride. He said that most groomsmen if approached by the the future wife stomping her feet and shaking her fist about no strippers would get one to spite her, and see how well they could keep it hidden from her... simply because its what some guys do (notice we both said some guys not all). FH doesn't care if he has one either way-i'm not going to be upset if he does because he isn't the one buying it, and I know he's coming home to me.

MrsG that's what I was thinking in this instance is the groomsmen are telling her this to ruffle her feathers!

Buying...it?

Im completely against the whole stripper idea. one of my BMs said that i needed one on my "last night of freedom" the way that i look at it, my last night of freedom was 3 years ago when we first started dating. strippers are tacky and disgusting. i personally trust my FH w/ all of my heart but why should he get entertainment from someone else when he gets it at home. he should not have to go elsewhere to have a good time. so thats why my FH and I are doing our parties together with all of our friends and the wedding party.

I don't know that I would call it tacky and disgusting b/c if my hubby decided he wanted to dance/strip for me I would surely grab my wallet LOL!!!

I mean paying for the stripper to come out if its private or his own lap dance...etc the groom usually isnt paying for that

Sorry carmen didnt mean to be vague or to imply anything fresh

I'm with ladylee. I was just trying to get DH to dance for me the other night. Didn't work.

I just give him the eye though. heheee.

Personally I don't think this issue is so much about whether or not each of us agrees with strippers at bachelor parties. If there is ANYTHING that my husband tells me would make him very uncomfortable for me to be doing, or worse that it would actually hurt him, then I would NEVER do it. And I expect (and get) the same respect from him, end of story. So I think it is WRONG for your DH to be ignoring you when you've made your "very strong feelings" feelings known to him. Your feelings should matter more to him than anything. Your feelings are never right or wrong and they don't have to be either for him to respect and honor them.

I'd like the chime in that I'm totally with msshay and sharon... The women in bars hanging around the bachelor party are worse than a stripper who could care less about your FH, but loves his wallet! haha. and I agree with them on the porn front...

@carmen... I love the commentary thing!!! that must be hilarious!!!!!!

Hmmm - I find women to be prettier than men - and better dancers. If I were to have strippers at my BP I would want a female stripper, hopefully from ATL with a really big booty. And a pole. LOL

but aside from that, strippers don't bother me because they are WORKING. Homegirl is there to pay rent, the same as I go to work everyday. If it was a PRIVATE party, I would be concerned (peer pressure) but at a club?? Not concerned at all. My man is marrying ME, not her.

Me and FH have a deal - if he wants a stripper and has a private party, I pick her out cause I know his tastes best AND I pay her (so she knows to ignore the peer pressure from fh's dumb@ss BM) and ensure that extra tip comes in. LOL.

On another tip, the best way to make an adult do something you don't want them to is to FORBID them to do it. My fh is a grown @ss man, I can tell him I don't like it and don't want it - but past that its insulting. I'm not his mother.

IMHO, if you live in a city/town that has strip clubs, your man can go and dig out a stripper any day of the week - if that's what he's inclined to do. But if he doesn't do it on the regular now, why put such importance on the matter for this one situation? Maybe I'm weird...but strippers have never made me feel threatend. Me & fh have gone to clubs together - and he's been a bouncer in a strip club before... (BTW - like Carmen said - he says its not all that you think it is. Most of these girls have other things on their mind, not shaking down your man.

But if you like it, I love it - do what works for you best.

It is all up to what you and ur FH believe in relationship. Some people dont see harm in porn/or strip or watever, and some people do see the harm in it... just talk about it. and the fh should have a set of balls to tell who ever is planning the party NO stripper if that how you both feel about it.

FH isn't a creep and if his best friends wanna spend their hard earned money on lap dances for him so be it.Now if FH was spending our money on lap dances that might piss me off a bit!Lol!Half of the appeal of strippers and dancers is that they are considered taboo.My FH is usually fairly reserved and I think going to a strip club for his bach party is a fun way to loosen him up a bit.I've been to plenty of those clubs and there's nothing threatening about them really.Of course it's a personal opinion and everyone is diff but I kno FH loves me and isn't going to be lusting over a hot stripper days after his night out because he wouldn't be marrying me if he was still lusty for other women.But if you refuse to allow your FH's to partake in this pre-wedding activity,he might be more understanding if you tell him you can dance way better for him and if he could wait until your honeymoon for his own private dance,it would def be worth his wait.(wink wink)

I know, it's so hard in this situation. They treat bachelor parties like the guy is still single--he's not! Just legally... lol I personally am not at all worried about FH having strippers. I truly believe my FH doesn't want them like he claims, but I know the GM will get them, and I honestly couldn't care less. My BM definitely think it's HILARIOUS to get me a stripper, since I'm kind of a prude, so I'm predicting there will be one against my will. I'll be a good sport, but I seriously don't want them! Communication is very important, so I second the advice to just talk to him about it more. IMHO, you must have love and trust to be this far, and his GM will do what they want and I think it's fine for FH to be a sport and go along with it--knowing he is trust worthy. Like they say, strippers aren't too involved with the men usually. I hope you find a resolution you can all be happy with!

I have a question for all of you that tell your FH's that they absolutely can't have a stripper at their party because you don't want them to be looking at another woman who is only partially dressed? Do you also make sure that nothing on TV is rated stronger than PG-13 as well? I was watching an episode of Law & OrderVU the other day and they had strippers on there. There's a big difference between seeing a stripper do that and letting them get a hooker. My girlfriend and I were watching that show together, and neither of us paid a bit of attention to the strippers who were in basically string bikinis, but we were both drooling over a fully dressed Mariska Hargitay, who plays Detective Olivia Benson. That woman is just HOTTT!!

If you don't trust your partner to see someone strip, how can you trust them after you're married. Can you trust them when you're at the beach or the pool? Either you can or you can't trust them to be around someone who is partially dressed. If you really do trust them, then you have nothing to worry about. If you don't, then maybe they're not the right choice to spend the rest of your life with. Just my opinion.

Yes, Shannon. Most people who do not agree with strippers for personal (and especially if it is for spiritual) reasons do not watch movies that have nudity. My FH won't even go to a movie early because while the movie we're going to watch might not have nudity, the previews sometimes have inappropriate scenes that he doesn't want to be exposed to. It is human nature to be lustful but we're intelligent beings who have control over our thoughts and actions. We're not animals that have to give in to instinct. My FH and I believe the bible and Matthew (and several other books) clearly state that "if you look at a woman lustfully you have committed adultery with her in your heart." It is a serious issue for Christians and I hope you all understand and respect that. I don't judge people for their beliefs- please don't mock us for ours. It is not unreasonable to expect your FH to not lust after women. Everyone stumbles, but there is no reason to set yourself up to fall.