Strippers vs. no strippers...

LOL, was just reading the later posts about having your FH dance for you! Once he's my DH I would be all for that! Desiring your spouse is very important! When you stop desiring your spouse you have some work to do. I actually bought a thing to try to learn how to dance for my DH and fell on my head!!! So, while I don't think it's wrong to be sexy for your spouse I apparently am not coordinated enough! Props Carmen, it's not as easy as I thought! I've never been to a strip club so I don't know exactly what they do but if they can swing their hair around, move in a sexy way and not get dizzy and fall over I'm impressed!

@Shannon - I find strippers disgusting and I would be insulted if my FH considered it a must have entertainment to look at naked girls. To answer your question, yes we do not watch porn or anything like that with him, and he doesn't watch any by himself. Early on we decided that the only naked woman in his life will be me. no exceptions. Of course some movies have nude scenes but they are usually brief and not the whole purpose of the movie.

PS @Shannon - its not a trust issue. Its a respect issue. If I have strong feelings about something and he can't respect it, he is not the man I want to be with. If I knew, something completely insults him I would never do it no matter how socially acceptable it is.

I don't think he'll do anything with the stripper. But I find it disrespectful of me and our relationship for him to engage in such entertainment.

Shannon, it's not that you think they would ever touch someone just because they're partially dressed, it's that you view intentionally, purposefully lusting after a woman a form of cheating. I believe that the mind is as important as the body (if not more so) and so if you're screwing around in your mind, it's just another way to cheat. If your husband loved you physically but not in his mind, would you think he loved you? Again, we're not perfect. Everyone makes mistakes but I don't think it's wrong to expect your husband to be faithful. Some women think it's unrealistic to expect your husband to be faithful physically, do you think that is true? That is true of some men and I don't think they should ever get married. Being mentally and physically faithful is not possible for some men, and I wouldn't marry them. My husband expects the same from me and I do my best to be faithful, mind, body and soul. I know what things cause me to stumble and I avoid them. Simple as that.

AMEN- Z!

Girl if your not comfortable about it dont compromise just because he wants you to. if he says, well its only for this one night, then say, well then you can survive if its just for one night. ask him if he would feel comfortable with some sweaty naked man dancing all over you. lots of strippers are good enough, but when guys party, they party. there might be a guy or two that tells the girl to give lapdances or do something really crazy. some girls have too much repect for themselves to do that, but some of them will do anything for some extra cash. so sometimes it wont even be the stripper, itll be the peer pressure and the fun loving drunk guys that can screw things up. go with ur gut. if it says no strippers, then no strippers

Im not comfortable with either of us having strippers and neither is either of our families. everyone has a right to their own decisions within their relationship so if its fine for someone else more power to them but for us i mean our bachelor and bachelorette parties even if not combined would have family there and we are both from families who religiously just dont see it as appropriate so it wouldnt even be a discussion. now if one of his groomsmen decided to throw a party with strippers then not only would they have a problem with me but also with his parents so i mean i say talk to ur future hubby about it. whatever ur concerns are doesnt matter. its a matter of respect so if one of u disagrees then there has to be some compromise. just because u dont want a stripper doesnt necessarily mean u dont trust the guy/girl. if ur not comfy thats that!

I LOVE STRIPPERS & EXOTIC DANCERS!!!!! My sensuality has increased 10-fold!!!! They've given my great advice onf how to be comfortable in my own skin & to work with what I got.....I haven't done too badly .

I'm going to agree with Shell.... AMEN Z!

NO STRIPPERS! He has & never will be to a srtip club. This has been discussed many times & my answer is NO!

I agree with Carmen, Sharon and Msshay. The only reason why we aren't having strippers at my party is because we are having a private party and we wanted to keep it small and simple and well we thought the starting price of $400 a hour was a little high, if I really wanted I could buy an hour with a "friendly person" off Craigslist for that price.

My FH is COMPLETELY against strippers. and everyone in the BP is well aware of this. If someone got one for him, they would no longer be going to the wedding, he's that serious about it. So I've got nothing to worry about =)

We're both not big on clubbing and all that, so we're having a party together, and doing some fun stuff, like bowling, arcade, maybe mini golf... Something that fits us as a couple =)

But I would talk to him about how you feel definitely.

It is about respect AND trust, but more so respect. and honor.

and Yes, Z! I completely ****% agree with you!! I'm the only fantasy that he'll ever need to have.

I really would like to take a few classes on it though, and do a private show just for him, I think that would be really fun.

I really enjoy how some of you can sit here and say "strippers are filthy and disgusting" and expect me to still be your pal or give you advice on how to dance for your man. Or any advice at all for that matter. Your blanket statements are insulting and lacking in tact.

Just thought I'd share.

Carmen, I really don't think that people are trying to insult you but I definitely see where you would be. I do feel strongly about what is right for myself and my fiance but I don't want to offend anyone so I have kept out of this thread This thread has become pretty heated, maybe this is one of those subjects (for brides anyway) that people shouldn't talk about like politics and religion! lol

I have no issue with my man going to the strip club. I have fun at the strip club. It does become a sense of fore play. I think that all is cool until he doesnt come home. And when he doesnt come home it is not the fault of the stripper it is his fault.

@Carmen- You go girl...do what you love and dont apologize for it..!!!

I don't have a problem with my FH going to a strip club or having a stripper. The only problem that I would have is if he was to give her all of the bill money...LOL. As for me, I will watch, but I don't touch.

You've gotten tons of replies on this already. I'll try and be nice but I want to be honest. You guys looks at other women. All guys do including me. Your upset because you don't want him looking at other women or being attracted to other women. It's natural for you to have these instincts and be upset about it. It's the same for him, trust me. 'But at the end of the day he still looks at other women just as you look at other guys and think of how cute they are. It happens and its no big deal. Whether he stays loyal and hold you truly as his is what you would should be worried about. My fiancee and I have both been cheated on in past relationships. At the same time we openly talk about which actors and friends we think are hott and sexy, male and female. But at the end of the day she is mine and she is the only one I desire. Other women may be attractive but she is the one I want. Trust me, a stripper is no big deal.

@Jonathan. See, that's what I'm talking about. Me and my FW have both been cheated on in the past... and guess what? Neither of our exes were messing around with strippers. I've been to a strip bar and saw the women dancing and thought they were attractive. But a person doesn't have to be nude or even partially nude to cause a person to lust. I'm guessing most people on here that you talk to that have been cheated on didn't have a stripper in the equation. And Z and the other ladies, I do respect your opinions. I'm not having a stripper and don't want one. I'm just thinking that if you think a person has to be partially nude to make your partner look, you're totally mistaken. I see people all the time that I find attractive, but there's a big difference in finding someone attractive and getting lustful with them (with mind or body). I didn't mean to offend you. I was just putting my opinion on here too.

@Carmen...Not all of us on here think that what you do is filthy and disgusting. I certainly don't. You're an attractive woman and I know that you can probably make more money in an hour than I'll make in half a week. You go girl! I just don't have the body or rhythm to do anything remotely sexy in any form of dancing. (yep... jealous about that too. lol)

I am fine with my FH going to a strip club, as, I have gone to them also. I admire what those women can do with a pole..because honestly, if I tried any of that..I would most likely hurt myself..that being said, there is only one thing that bothers about FH going to strip club..is a lap dance, I think those are way too 'personal' and have never had one myself.