Stuck on taking surname’s

Looking to get what others would do in this situation. My partner and I have had the discussion about me taking his last name as I am hesitant to take on his because he had an alcoholic abusive father that immensely damaged him. His father passed 8 years ago now, but, my father also passed 4 years ago completely unexpected and I loved him dearly as my best friend, super healthy relationship with my entire family.


I’m having a hard time being OK to take on his last name as it always reminds me of his father. When we talked about this he said he would like to keep it because of his grandfather who has the legacy of fighting in the war, even though he was a child when he passed, and barely has any memories of him.
For me to take on his name and let go of my fathers connection for his fathers name of someone incredibly toxic and pass it to our kids just seems so wrong. He said he may be open to taking my name instead but I also don’t want to force that option on him. And hyphenating names it something neither of us personally want for ourselves and our kids to have.
Any KIND thoughts please on what you would do with this situation?