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Expert September 2022

Suggestions....

Nichole, on July 20, 2022 at 7:19 PM Posted in Planning 4 8

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We are getting married in September. My fiance is in the middle of a 2 month layoff that ends September 5th. He has told me that he would like his bachlor party to be during his layoff (he works 3rd shift so normally he is up all night and sleeps during the day.....since hes on layoff he is on a "normal" sleep schedule). What he wants for the bachlor party is pretty low key.....a bunch of his friends over at our house, pizza, drinking, drinking games/card games; pretty easy to plan. Heres the problem. His best man is dragging his feet about planning (and communicating in general..cant even give me a time of when he will be free for the rehearsal). I know he has alot on his plate right now....new job...selling his house and moving his family 3 hours away (is it that hard to respond to a text though even if its Im not sure what will be required of me from my new job..)

Soooo my fiance and I thinking leave him as best man but ask one of the other groomsmen to plan the bachlor party. This groomsman has pretty much offered already and asked questions about what is wanted. Both my fiance and I have already had private very polite discussions with the best man and made no progress. What do you guys think?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Nichole, on July 21, 2022 at 10:58 AM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on July 20, 2022 at 7:24 PM
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Anyone can host the bachelor party so have your FH tell the groomsman offering that it would be great for him to plan it.
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Expert September 2022
Nichole · on July 20, 2022 at 7:27 PM
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Thank you. I dont want the best man to think that we are kicking him out of the best man spot but I also have gotten the impression from talking to him recently that he is at the moment overwhelmed (which is totally understandable!) But afraid to tell us.
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Rockstar
Rosebud · on July 20, 2022 at 8:02 PM
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Maybe just have one of the groomsmen check in with the best man, he can ask him what he s thinking of doing and offer to help with the planning. Good Luck!
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Expert September 2022
Nichole · on July 20, 2022 at 8:06 PM
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Thats what we tried first and no luck 😔
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Super May 2022
Erin · on July 20, 2022 at 11:56 PM
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There are other typical “duties” for best men that he can participate in on the wedding day. Having another GM plan the bachelor party doesn’t signify he is being booted from the role. I think it will be ok if this other GM plans it.
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Super September 2022
Sarah · on July 21, 2022 at 8:25 AM
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My fiance's best man also was not stepping up after my fiance and the other groomsmen kept asking so eventually one of the other groomsmen stepped up to plan. If you have someone else that already offered then take them up on it!
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Devoted October 2021
Brenda · on July 21, 2022 at 10:18 AM
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This happened to my husband too. We love our best man, but he's not a party planner type and it showed when... nothing was planned. My husband actually ghost-planned some of his own bachelor party through others making helpful decisions that my husband wanted, lol.

For example, they new where it would be, but when he found out there was no lodging yet, he found an airbnb and sent it to our neighbor (a groomsman) to send to the group like "I found this, I'm not sure if it's something we're looking for?" And they all liked it and booked it.

Or I messaged his best man, who I'm also friends with, like "my girls and I were just discussing my bachelorette party, how's bachelor stuff going?" "It's going good! Just thinking of activities" "hmmm, well I know he's always talked about wanting to do an escape room, if there's one nearby? (There was)"
No one's feelings were hurt, and my husband had a blast at his bachelor party and got to do what he wanted to do
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Expert September 2022
Nichole · on July 21, 2022 at 10:58 AM
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So glad we arent the only ones having this experience!!!! My FH just doesnt want to plan his own and I was like if I have to I will plan it for you. Im lucky because my matron of honor and one of my bridesmaids have been amazing. I told them what I would like and they took it and ran with it. I know the date and that 2 of my 3 suggestions are being used and to clear the day and night. Everything else is a surprise. I know my sisters who are also bridesmaids havent been much help and have even given some push back which I kinda expected especially from one of them (her ideas of fun and mine are completely different....)
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