SUPER budget conscious

@AL I am in NY just like you and maybe you can't get a catering hall for that price, but you can get a private room in a restaurant for about that and the food is amazing. I hosted my sisters baby shower for $50 pp and my FSIL baby shower for $39 pp (that included champagne punch) and it was some of the best food I've had.

@MGB i am not putting stress on anyone. They volunteer their services. I have other people who will be serving the food. My family will enjoy the day with me. If I need to go over my budget than I can but 3000 is what we decided. We know people that helps out with alot of the things for our wedding that's the reason why it's not costing so much.

@Normika I've cooked for 200 people (while working for a licensed caterer). It is stressful. I'm going to probably regret asking this, but who are you getting to serve the food and clean up?

And I don't care if your family volunteered their services. I would have refused the offer because that's the proper adult thing to do. Never mind the issues surrounding whether or not the food is safe to serve, since the budget is apparently more important that guests' health.

I totally get the budget conscious thing, but if you cant host 200 guests properly, then just ELOPE.

Take it from someone who attended a potluck wedding, and got violently ill (and so did MANY other guests) PLEASE do not do this. The only thing anyone remembers from that wedding is how sick they got. It lasted 3 days and will never be forgotten.

There are really two issues with a potluck wedding. One is food safety. However, whether that is really an issue depends a lot on how many guests you have, how used your guests are to potlucks, and the timing. A potluck wedding is not inherently less safe than any other potluck event--and potlucks are a common event otherwise. The lack of safety comes if a) the guests are unfamiliar with potlucks (and thus not used to either bringing food that will keep at room temperature or providing a method for keeping it hot or cold), or b) the food sits around for long periods, either because there is a big gap between the guests' arrival for the ceremony and when food is served, or because you have a large number of guests.

The other issue is imposing on your guests. You are in effect reducing your costs, but increasing the costs (in both time and money) borne by your guests. That is particularly an issue for out of town guests, who don't typically have a place to cook or store food.

If you are going to do this at all, you can't expect all of your guests to bring food. Instead, as all or part of your registry, you say that you would love to have guests bring their favorite dish to your wedding in lieu of a gift. (As with any registry, this gets publicized only on your website or by word of mouth, not on your invitations.) And you have some sort of sign-up form, so you don't end up with six potato salads and no meat. Even then, you do it only if your social circle frequently includes potlucks, if the guest list is small (so 200 is out of the question), and if you are prepared to have the ceremony on time and the meal right afterward (no photos or cocktail hour in between).

Mine will end up around 11000 with 200 people. And that is even with SUPER diying and thrifting.

I should just have a macro ready with this link. Do not self cater. Self catering can kill.

http://www.cnn.com/2015/04/28/health/potatoes-to-blame-for-botulism/index.html

"Extremely cheap" and "dump" are 2 descriptions I would never want used for anything related to my wedding.

@StarFromIHJ: Do you also not eat at friends' houses because they might be serving potatoes they have canned themselves? Because there was nothing about this being a potluck that caused the issue--it was caused by bad food handling practices at home.

As discussed above, there are a whole lot of caveats on a potluck wedding. But that CNN article isn't dispositive, unless you also decline to eat anything your friends have prepared at home.

@OP I started with a similarish budget- $5k for 90 guests. We realized that wasn't possible for what we were envisioning so we pushed the date back a year. Now we don't have to compromise our lifestyle / can save for vacations and such since we're waiting longer. I suggest doing that.

As far as crock pots in a park. Picture the hot sun beating down on potato salad, flies landing on the crock pot mac n cheese. Great Aunt Betsy letting her cats on the counters while she cooks and they lick the food when she's not looking (this happens to my friend... I don't eat at her house anymore). Is that how you want to start your marriage?

2nd, actually I only eat at friends homes who know how to cook and handle food properly. Mostly, we eat out or order in. Less risk that way.

You think that crockpots are going to not get someone sick after sitting out for a while in the warm sun? Let alone the practicality of 20 dump meals in a crock pot lined up? Who will make sure food stays the right temperature? Who will make sure the food doesn't run out?

Why would anyone take out a loan for a wedding? That’s not financially responsible..

How is everyone being negative? There’s very valid concerns and risks. One of my closest friends did s potluck wedding, the food was cold, people got sick... it’s not ok.

Soooo everyone here said what I was thinking, but since you are looking for suggestions, here are a couple. Fazolis I heard can be as little as $8 a person and is a prifessional restaurant. Decorations must be to a minimum, flowers must be to a minimum, as well your dress, accessories and everything else. But the things you do need are professional catering, even Panera could work, and booze.

If 3000 is your entire budget for everything & a reception for 200 ppl it is unrealistic. With that budget and what you want, I think you have very limited options. I would say, #1. Elope. #2. Cut list to 30 guests (50 absolute max) and have a restaurant reception or #3. Push your date back & save money until you can afford what you want.

We are here to help so please trust us when we say no self catering, no friendors, serve alcohol & host properly.

My daughters wedding is a total of $13,000 for 100 people. That includes everything with the exception of her dress and accessories as I am paying for them. I would recommend cutting down your guest list and only include those people who are very special to you. At a later date, when you return from your honeymoon, could throw a party to announce your wedding. As both a mom and a wedding guests to numerous weddings I would ask you to rethink your plans. If you can't afford to feed everyone a meal, then perhaps you could have a cake and punch reception with some finger foods and have the event in the middle of the afternoon. Also, breakfast and brunch weddings are less expensive as the food choices do not require extensive proteins. My daughters wedding will have 100 guests and her catering budget is $3,000...that includes 3 proteins, 3 starches, salad, 2-4 passed items etc. Please do not take this response as mean or hateful as I really only want what is best for each as a wedding day is a special occasion which brings numerous memories. Only you and your partner know what you want in a wedding day...if the park, with a pot luck is that vision then by all means live your dreams.

OP you can have an inexpensive wedding but you will need to alter your Guest list and adjust for all of your DIY items. I'm in NYC, my budget was 6,000 but we ended up spending 4,750 with a Guest list of 52. We didn't do a venue, we went with our favorite restautant. That cut costs so much. We were even able to decorate the restaurant ourselves. We also got married I our apartment to keep costs down. Instead of having a photographer for the whole ceremony and reception, we hired her for a Photo shoot. Way more manageable financially. We had disposable Cameras and everyone was taking pictures. Then finding sales and DIY. We stood under budget and everyone was happy and stuffed. It was the best day ever.

This is the restaurant with our decorations and centrepieces.

@MelissaHH: If you look at all my caveats, one thing that I said was that it was not going to work for 200 people. Another was that you couldn't have any kind of gap between ceremony and reception, so it wouldn't be left sitting out for any length of time.

So it's not that I disagree with that part. I was merely saying that the linked CNN story was irrelevant to the discussion, since it involved someone who had improperly canned potatoes. That is as likely to happen at a dinner party as at a potluck.

I did all diy, self cater, did not get sued, had the best wedding I could ever ask for and spend about $4500 for 130 people! Everyone had the time of their lives at our wedding! It is very doable!

I agree 200 is a lot of guests for that budget. That being said, I'm not going to judge self catering. I will say: don't think you're having a formal affair! Do not spend half your budget on a dress! Look at the cost of renting benches (cheaper than chairs) and you'll see how quickly "incidentals" add up. I'm not sure about what medical bills would be incurred, but you can make sure you're covered insurance wise. Whoever is hosting (name on the invite, rental agreements) needs to have a homeowner's or renters policy with personal liability. They can get an umbrella on top of that. Grandparents sue grandchildren, so don't think your second cousin won't.