SUPER budget conscious

Kristin - I agree with you, but based on many brides on here, if they aren't shelling out the cash then it's not part of their budget. All in all, poor planning on their parts.

I have spreadsheets of the venues we like, including quotes from other vendors I’d need. I also have the money offered us by my parents, and money we’re setting aside. I have a quotes, deposit, payments, columns, and each column has a total at the bottom. It’s ridiculously organized,but this way I can keep track of EVERYTHING for the wedding.

This is done for each venue we’ve liked, it’s allowed us to see approximately what we’d be spending at each venue, thus allowing us to make an educated decision.

I just dont agree with shaming other ppls weddings. no one is forcing you to self cater your own wedding so why do you care

Normika, SMH, SMH. Your family shouldn't be working for your wedding, and it isn't safe. And not to be budget snobby, but a DJ/photographer (is this one person or two?) for $600 isn't going to be very good.

We’re not shaming anyone. We’re saying expecting family to spend DAYS preparing food for your wedding is rude. It’s not fair to push the cost off to others. :/

My parents offered to help pay for our wedding, which I’m beyond grateful for. However, if they didn’t, I’d be planning a very different wedding. We would be having a small ceremony and then treating those closest to us to dinner at a nice restaurant.

This isn't shaming. This is an attempt to keep people from making decisions that will bring shame upon themselves.

Yes!! I'm right with you!! My budget is 4,000 and I will not spend a penny more! Hahahaha. Here's some helpful tips:

1. I am on Facebook so I was able to find a page for Budget Brides-check to see if there is one in your area. They always have helpful tips and they sell their gently used decorations. I've found beautiful decorations for CHEAP

2. I'm having a small cutting cake for my husband and I and cupcakes for guests (saved a ton)

3. Shop around for a photographer. I found a lady (off of the Budget Brides FB Page) who is amazing and offered a special so I booked her then. Yes, even photographers have specials at times

4. Do you have a friend who can do your hair and makeup? We all have "that friend" who's amazing at it and always looks perfect. Ask her to help and then that can be her wedding gift to you!

5. Check Craigslist for wedding decor-there's always tons of decor on there

6. Keep things simple. We are doing baby's breath bouquets, Fred Meyers (grocery store) has huge bunches for $5.00 each. So my flower budget for 4 bridesmaids is $20!!! And they're SO cute!! If you like the idea, check Pinterest that's where I got it from!

7. Michaels (craft store) has tons of items for the do-it-yourselfer just check online and print off their coupons! There's always a 40% off an item. Print a ton off and have your friends go with to help you purchase EACH item to get the discount.

8. Purchase your alcohol at Sams Club or Costco!! Whatever is left over you can return and get your money back! We are only serving beer and wine at our reception and we've asked our family to give us gift cards for Costco for Christmas. We will use them to purchase the beer and wine for our wedding!

I hope this helps in some way!! I love that your going potluck style!! That's a HUGE savings and you get to taste everyone's fantastic creations. What an honor to have your food served at someone's wedding!! Best of wishes to you!!

Carla, baby’s breath has a very very strong smell. Some could be allergic to it.

Don’t ask people to “gift” you their services, that’s really rude. That’s coming from someone who could pull the “we’re friends, just let it be my gift from you” card. That’s assuming they were going to get you a gift, and that’s exploiting your friendship for their services and free stuff.

Your wedding is very likely the most important day of your life. Nothing says "not special" like .potluck.

Start by cutting your guest list. As in, you 50 nearest and dearest. Please hire a professional caterer. Please don't expect "that friend" to do your hair and makeup for free. Hire professional vendors that you can sign a contract with. You can plan a beautiful wedding for $3,000, but not for 200 people.

With that being said, if you don't give a shot about the people you invite to your wedding (who are supposedly the people closest to you), then keep on doing what you're doing.

I completely with you original poster! I think that's amazing that you are doing that. I'm trying to get our budget down but right now we are at 9,000 for roughly 200 people. I hate that everyrhing is so damn expensive and don't let anyone talk you out of doing something for your wedding cause its not "their" idea of a perfect wedding. Do you! Congrats

Here's what we paid for our buffet reception for 125 guests: Bartender; bar set up; wedding cake & coffee; turkey, ham, roast beef, rolls, condiments, cheeseboard, hot crab dip, date rumaki, assorted puffs, shrimp mousse, pineapple boats; total $1905.

But, that was 30 YEARS AGO!

Adjusted for inflation that would be $4,078 in 2017 dollars for 125 guests. So, Hannah, you need to cut your guest list by more than 50% or almost triple your budget.

S2BMrs.Williams, $9000 for 200 people, assuming that's your reception budget, is $45 per person, including tax. How many nice meals, including drinks, have you ever had for that price? My guess is none.

This is your wedding. It isn't about being perfect. It's about hosting your guests so they don't talk about what an awful time they had for years to come.

I'm just going to start leaving this in places today.

AL, one catering company I was quoted by is $55 a person... their reviews are amazing. It’s entirely possibly to pay that amount and the food be good. Don’t try to shame people for paying that. Just because a caterer charges an obscene amount doesn’t mean they’re any better than one that charges less. Also not every caterer includes alcohol, thus that’s a separate amount.

I’ve been to some restaurants, paid an obscene amount for food and the food was ok, I’ve been to some smaller family owned restaurants and their food is amazing. Not everyone lives on 5 star restaurants or spending $200 going out to eat.

@HisBeauty, does that include drinks? If so, great. It also might be geography specific. I'm in New York. Anyone quoting in that price range is not going to have good food.

When I first started planning, we were budgeting $3000 for about 175 people. I had it all planned out -- friends who owned catering business, friends who did hair/makeup, friends who did blah blah blah.

That very quickly became $15,000 when I realized I wanted my wedding to not be a total shit show that involved me taking advantage of the people I care about. If I hadn't had some family members generously offer to pay a portion of it, our budget would've stuck in the $3,000-$5,000 range and we'd be having a VERY different wedding.

It's okay to have unrealistic expectations coming in. When you realize they're unrealistic, you're supposed to adjust them though.

Prices vary everywhere. To judge people that spend less than your NY prices is wrong. You’re assuming because they pay less, the food isn’t good. Just because you paid more than some doesn’t make you better than anyone else. The price I was quoted includes non alcoholic, therefore, I’d have to pay separately, or buy the alcohol myself. Another venue I was quoted at $90PP, including alcohol, some venues were $50-60 range, including alcohol.

I don’t advocate self catering. While WW is vocal about self catering, I’ve never seen blatant disapproval towards what someone is spending on a caterer (Caterer being keyword). I’ve seen brutal honesty, but never outright shaming.

I was not shitting on anyone, but thanks. And again, I was assuming that $9,000 for 200 people was only for the reception, and assumes no decorations, no flowers, no drinks, etc. If it was for the whole wedding, that's not good hosting. That's not shaming or shitting.

$45 including tax is not in the $50-60 range.

There are lots of ways to DIY a wedding, as well as the on the budget. However, self catering with crockpot meals for 200 people is not a good option. Everything else sounds great! But self catering can make people sick, and if you can't enjoy your day at all, what is the point of even spending $3000? If you can't afford more, either cut the guest list, or find other ways to make it work. Perhaps you could find a budget caterer and then do some trading with them? I did lots of trades for my wedding, and it worked really well. Good luck to you!