Super Woman mil

My FMIL is wonderful. I really adore her. Through wedding planning I have become frustrated bc of a few instances and honestly there aren’t any solutions I just need to get things off my chest.
Incident one, she offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Great! She then proceeded to invite her whole extended family because they’re close so “they’re immediate”. This is about 40 people total not including my family or bridal party. I also felt that my family should be invited in this situation bc we’re close as well but that would raise it to 100 people rehearsal dinner for a 150 person wedding. (Everyone is also in town) I told my fiancé I’d rather just pay for the rehearsal dinner myself if it came with this caveat. He talked to her and now the solution is that the rehearsal dinner will be for people who rehearsed and she will reserve for tables in the same restaurant (small and very open) for her family.
Incident two, she wants us to take formal pictures with her whole family because “after the wedding that’s all we’ll have”. Again mind you this is a large family. Formal portraits would take a minimum of an hour and that would just be her family getting the special treatment and leaving mine out. My photographer is aware of this situation and will be assigning her second shooter to my MIL during the reception so everyone can get a picture, just probably not with us. Not sure whether this will be an issue when made known.Lastly, we asked my MIL to be our day of contact. She really is superwoman and I trust her to be on top of things and have decent style if she needs to go arrange things. She was all for this and very excited. A few weeks before the wedding her mother told her she needs to get her hair done. So my MIL has been running around to find a hairdresser and found one grandma likes over an hour away from the venue. They won’t be back at the venue until 1:00pm which is all during prime contact time. I expressed to my fiancé that we’ll have to ask someone else to be day of contact and that I really wish she would let grandma figure her own situation out. He responded that “it’s her mom she needs to help her”.I just feel that the overall family’s wants have overshadowed my fiancés and I wants for the planning of the wedding. While I know this day isn’t as important to everyone else as it is to us I was just hoping we would be a little more important to my MIL on this one day. I feel like I’m so tired of trying to get my voice heard and feeling like I’m crazy. I’ve basically given up putting my opinions in on my own wedding day. I feel pretty defeated.