Support from Family & Friends.

Oh the men I thought I loved when I was 19, if it's only been a few months what's the issue in taking things slow? Why do you NEED to get married right now, at 19 I'm assuming you haven't finished college so why don't you do all that first and if you both still feel the same in a couple of years maybe start planning a wedding then.

FH and I are 28 and 29 and have been engaged for 2 years and now getting married 2 years gave us time to live together and really get to know each other.

In fairness to your parents.... At 19 especially getting engaged after a few months is pretty quick.

When I was 19 I started dating a 26 year old my parents hated too, coincidentally. It did not go well but that was just me.
I guess a couple questions: why get engaged and married so soon? There is no rush. And are there other reasons your parents dislike him outside of his age and the drug charge?

View Quoted Comment I honestly had no idea he was going to ask me so soon. We had talked about it a few times and he proposed to me yesterday. I was totally caught off guard. I want to wait a while before we actually get married though. My parents have talked about him to me and those are the only things they bring up. So if there is something else about him they don't like, I don't know about it.

If you’re confident that your relationship is going to last a lifetime, what’s the harm in slowing down and taking your time? I don’t blame your parents here, you are very young and he is not, and your relationship is still very new. I think most of us can agree that we all had someone we just knew we were meant to be with between the ages of 18-20, and probably 95% of the time that’s just not the case.

I would have the exact same reaction that they're having if my 19-year-old niece told me that she was engaged to a 26-year-old man that she had only known a few months, even leaving aside his drug charges. What exactly is the hurry?

Most parents tend to be uncomfortable if there’s a significant age gap between their child and his/her significant other. Unfortunately even more so if it’s their daughter. There’s not a thing you can do about it really. You probably just need to give them time to process because you’re still their baby in their eyes and on top of that they probably don’t know your fiancé very well from the sounds of it. Don’t be discouraged, though. I was engaged at 19 to my high school sweetheart and we are getting married next year. My family was supportive because they knew my fiancé as we’d been together 3 years. Like others said, just take your time and let the family get to know him beyond his past. There’s nothing wrong with having a long engagement either. Ive been engaged since 2017 and am getting married in 2020. Best of luck to you guys.

I would differently wait a bit. The first few moths of a relationship smost of the time is amazing. Even for older couples. It is all new and fresh. I thinknjust stay engaged not plan for a year just to make sure.
Also you said you have had your fair share of arguments. Whileva know every couple argues. If you have already ad a bunch
after only a few months that is a sign to wait.

Also you just got engaged yesterday and your wedding date is 6 moths. That is a super fast engagement. It is in the middle it wedding season and will be hard to find a venu , DJ, photographer in that time. My venue was booking over a year and half out

I would wait awhile too; there is just so much you guys don’t know about each other yet. Have you met his friends and their friends? Can you all go out together and have a civilized dinner? Do you know all his quirks, what sets him off?

At 19, you are still a bit young-you can’t yet drink , sign a legal contract, rent a car, etc. This could pose problems when trying to book venues, etc. plus, there is a lot more “adulting” you need to learn, especially money management. This is very important, especially if your fiancé has the background you say he does.

You could stay engaged but hold off on the wedding. If you love each other and want to be together won’t he still love and want to be with you in a few years when you’ve had time to figure life some more? If the answer is no maybe it’s not the best decision. If yes than no harm done.

As I am sure you are sick of hearing how young you are as if its a bad thing, I'm here to celebrate how young you are and all that your future holds! The world is quite literally yours for the taking. You have opportunities to advance yourself during these years that will be much more difficult in the future. You are only young once! There is no rush to plan your forever just yet.

Unfortunately, no one can deny science and the fact is, the rational part of your brain in your cerebral cortex will not be fully developed until you are age 25. You will go through a lot of different stages until then. You will change, inevitably.

Your family's resilience to fully support your decision to marry so young without knowing the person fully is actually a very endearing form of support in and of itself. Please spend this time to focus on yourself and if it is meant to be, you will marry this person in due time.

Agree with PP you could just decide to have a long engagement if you don't want to lift the engagement. 19 is quite young and 6 month a super short engagement...
Also have you thought about living together before getting married? I know a lot of people only want to move together after they are married, but if you are not one of them you could maybe consider it. I find that moving together helps you to learn more about your partner and you grow quite a bit as a couple.

I’ve been with my FH since I was 19. When we get married this June, we’ll have been together 7.5 years. We wanted to wait until we were both done with school and could afford the wedding we wanted. We were very serious early in our relationship, like you are, however I’m so glad we waited. All our friends were getting married before us, and it made me feel like we were falling behind, but waiting was what was right for us. Now our lives are established and we can afford to have the wedding we want.
There is no rush to get married. Enjoy getting to know each other and grow with each other. Let your parents take the time to get to know him better. I’m sure they will be more supportive once they are comfortable around him.

Well, congrats. I am sure you are very excited. Please take it slow though. To be pretty frank, after one year you may know each other well, but have only been together for a few months. That also means that your parents have had very little time to get to know him too. Take your time... there is literally no rush when it comes to marriage. You want to make sure that it is a)the right decision and b) the timing is right. I would be hesitant too if I were your parents. Take your time and take a few years to actually get to know one another. While it was a long time ago, a drug charge isn't a minuscule thing so you want to make sure that there isn't any other baggage that comes with it as well. Take your time, really get to know each other and come out of the "honeymoon" stage of your relationship. Only then will you be able to really grow into a relationship together.

I am 31, my fh is 20. BUT, he and I have been together and lived together since he was 18 and I was friends with him for well over a year longer than that. It is possible for a relationship with someone so young to work out with someone older. But my suggestion would be to maybe stay at a "promise ring" level before doing the full shebang and planning a quick engagement and marriage in 6 months. My fh is a different person than he was 6 months ago, and he was an even different person 6 months that before that. Change is part of being young. But what you might think you are 100% sure of now you may not be 100% sure of a year from now when the honeymoon stage is over and you settle into every day life with him. As for the family not liking him... My fh family was very concerned that he was dating someone who was 30 at the time he was 18. But the more they got to know me, they realized my intentions were good and now have fully accepted me into the family. If he is the right person for you, they will come around once they get to know him more.

I would propose having a long engagement. Family tend to get suspicious/concerned when things happen fast. like "what's the rush" so although the engagement happened fast, it might be beneficial to have a long engagement.