Surprise Wedding

I’ve been to two surprise weddings! Both were second marriages for the couples, and they didn’t want big, expensive, extravagant weddings. The first one was a cousin who surprised us with a beach wedding during a family vacation. The second one were local friends who threw a big BBQ summer bash, and surprised us all by getting married during it! Both were really fun!

View Quoted Comment Wow these both are fantastic options. We have family in Georgia and Oklahoma and was thinking of using a holiday when everyone is together. Thanks for you input this is greasing the wheels for great ideas

Yes!!! Invite everyone over for a party and boom marriage! Omg what if you throw a like “themed” party where everyone has to dress up nice ( great gatsy or like a murder mystery thing etc). Food wise- have a like pot luck thing where everyone brings a dish for everyone to share. You can hire low cost officiants or maybe a friend can get officiated! I really wanted to do this but my fiancé wanted to make sure everyone knew the occasion and showed up.

If you plan to go full surprise, you will need to stress how important of a party it is to those you absolutely want there. I've been to "engagement" parties that were surprise weddings and very important family and friends missed it because pre-wedding parties do not hold the same weight at weddings. These same one, I have have shown up in relatively casual attire (It was a back yard bbq "engagement party" just to have half of the guests in full formal, making it a little bit awkward.

Can be done! Make sure you plan accordingly!

I think this could very easily backfire if someone you really want to be there isn't because they don't know that you were actually planning on getting married there. People don't necessarily rearrange plans for a family get together like they would a wedding.

I would have to agree with Veronica. Surprise birthday parties are one thing, surprise weddings quite another. I would be taken back and honestly a bit disappointed/disgusted (?) if this was planned by someone I was very close to. It is hard to make something really special if everyone is clueless as to what is happening. Nonetheless, it is your wedding…just consider not everyone will be overjoyed with the surprise

Ok so as much as I appreciate the idea, what I've seen ends up backfiring. The elements of a wedding are generally lost and because it's not a wedding, valued guests are often missing. If that's risks you're ok with then do what you want.

I knew someone who threw a fancy New Year's Eve party and had a surprise wedding. Bride disappeared for a few minutes to change her dress. They sent their cat out wearing a little bow tie w/ bells and then the bride entered. Everyone loved it! It worked for them because it was a 2nd (or even 3rd marriage) for each of them and they weren't encumbered by close family attending.

This very rarely works out. People who would not make the effort to travel cross country or across town for a birthday party or housewarming or whatever would be hurt and angry that you don’t think highly enough of them to be honest about what you are inviting them to, and that they missed being able to attend your wedding when they hear about it later. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you and support your relationship, but if they have advance notice that it is a wedding, they will take time off work to travel or do their errands another day if they are local. By not telling them beforehand that it is a wedding and not a bbq, birthday party, or other event, you forfeit all rights to be upset when someone declines and then gets hurt later when they find out it was your wedding. Lying to people never ends well in any situation, whether it is a surprise wedding or a vow renewal after an elopement.

View Quoted Comment Yes I will take this into consideration. I honestly don't care who's there or not. Besides our kids and parents everyone else not so important to me and I can't plan my day based off the way intended guest might feel. I feel that if they care for you they will make it or let you know why they can't do of be aware of their absence beforehand

View Quoted Comment In this case, just have a micro wedding with your must have guest list that you plan to inform beforehand that it is in fact a wedding and not some other event. If you truly don’t care if someone attends or not, do not spend money on invitations and dinner for them.

View Quoted Comment Yes yes valid points We will have everyone thinking we're celebrating his sisters 50 birthday. Our families have always showed up and we are known to throw extravagant parties with that said we're confident in the correct people attending and keeping it a surprise to everyone except his sister who's on board with it. Wish us luck!

I love this. I will follow your advise to a tee. Thanks a ton this is valuable information 🙏🏾