Swingers?

@ Kelly- first and foremost, you have to BOTH really want to try it. As for your questions, the sex will never be better with someone else, your FH knows how to please you better than anyone. It's more just good old fun- orgies are awesome. Plain and simple. You wont experience a connection to someone else as long as you follow the golden swinger rule- "it's just sex." Once you both realize that you can have sex with other people and still love eachother, your bond and love for eachother will reach a whole new level. Everyone i've ever met in the lifestyle has said it only brought them closer.

We do not. We are not prude or anything and do not think ill of those who are, however the idea of someone else having sex with each of us does not sit well. FH has said "I don't want you sleeping with someone behind my back, why the hell would I wanna watch it?!" Plus I have no desire to sleep with anyone else. I love my fiance and he is all I need in my life and my bed.

@ analy- thanks for sharing that thread! Looks like that one got pretty heated lol, I suppose the idea of an "open marriage" is wierd- we would never engage in activities separately, we always play together. I hope this thread doesnt get that catty...ladies let me re-iterate I am VERY proud of those of you who have been respectful of the lifestyle, please lets continue to be non-judgemental.

Hey clare, I have a question about a situation I experience with a couple of swingers (two separate incidents) that I rather not post on this forum. Can I send it to you in a private message and can you tell me is that normal or not?

It's not for us. Niether of us like to share! But I've always been intrigued how the primary relationship works when there are other parties involved. Are the rules the some for every couple, or most couples in general, etc.

I've said it before, I'd rather an honest open relationship than a cheating, dishonest one. I couldn't do it, but i'd say the honest open one may be more secure than the spouse who is cheating and lying.

@ soontobe mrs gonzales- very interesting! we know a couple with a girlfriend, we actually tried having a girlfriend for a bit but she got way too clingy...thats awesome that you've found someone cool enough to share.

@future mrs hardcastle- absolutely! PM me!

I'd be happy to answer any questions anyone has, my friends drill me constantly for details lol

Definitely not something I could get into but for me sex is not just sex its a connection I could only have with the man I love..(I am a bit of a prude thou LOL) That said I do have a couple of friends who are in the lifestyle... I think its more his thing than hers... He was into it when they met then he gave it up for awhile they had kids and he talked her into it. I can't say whether or not she enjoys it as much because she really wants to get married and he won't , he says a marriage would not last in the lifestyle and that he needs the variety.

I must say the whole lifestyle is very interesting to me! I would never do it, I KNOW FH would never do it, but I do find it very interesting! I have been asked a few times to be part of another couples relationship (back when I was single)... I did not do it but I am still friends with that couple today. I also am friends with a married couple who are swingers. They have been to the hedonism resorts and LOVED them. My sister was married to a man and they had many other women in their relationship, a few years later my sister decided she liked woman more and they are now divorced with one child and she has a wonderful girlfriend. I say to each their own

I'm not in the lifestyle but 2 of my good friends (married couple) are. Other than them I haven't 'knowingly' known anyone that are swingers. I personally think they have an amazing relationship. My friend mentioned to me that they were going to take a break to have babies and raise their children.

FH is so against it. I'm pretty open to things but having someone else in our relationship... I don't know. If it works for you & you're able to find a healthy way to do it, good for you! Everyone has different ways of spicing up their relationships/marriages.

FH and I are very much not swingers. I'm way to possessive and jealous. Heck, he gets jealous when a guy flirts with me in a bar...

However, I have no problems with other couples participating in those sorts of behaviors as long as the agreement is mutual, there are no secrets, and they are smart about it. There are way too many diseases out there. Some of the people who participate in that lifestyle are too cavalier about sex and don't take sexually transmitted diseases as seriously as they should. As long as you are being responsible and getting periodic testing, even with precautions, that's your choice.

Eh - I don't think that swingers are at any greater risk for infection than regular single people who have active sex lives. I think as long as you are open and honest, follow the rules and use protection, it could be really fun.

Well, I'm bisexual, so we've def. talked about having the occasional threesome (and came sooo close once!) although we haven't done it yet. We don't want to all-out swing, it's just too much for us.

The woman who introduced FH and I is a swinger! She keeps having trouble with her boyfriends eventually getting jealous, something that got me in trouble a long time ago! Apparently a good swingin' husband is hard to find. Congrats on finding yours!

Clare, I sent you the PM.

Thanks Heather, this is a huge misconception about our lifestyle. All the swingers I know and have been with have safer sex and take more precaution than any "normal" couple or single person I know. Most swingers are very responsible and safe, we always use at LEAST two methods of protection, change and clean between people, plus do regular gyno visits and testing. Not to sound like a total ho-bag, but we've been doing this for 5 yrs and seen our fair share of action, and never once contracted an STD or had a pregnancy scare. We actually talked to a couple in their 60s the other day who have been swinging for close to 35 years- they also have never contracted one single STD bc they always acted responsibly. So for everyone who thinks "ick you probably have STDs or unsafe sex", I'm likely having safer sex than you are.

Way safer being protected with other people than a spouse cheating and coming home having unprotected sex with the unsuspecting spouse eh?

I'm open to it but I know FW would not. Maybe if it were only girls but she is not for penis. Don't get her wrong she has had sex with men before but didn't see the point beside reproduction. Either way, I'm open to it and hopefully one day we both could try together.

@ Tammy -thanks for sharing, thats awesome that you two can at least talk about it. I'm bi too, thats how we got into it. If you're not into full out swinging, there are a TON of couples on swinger websites that are "soft swap"- meaning they only watch, or just the girls hook up. There are probably more soft swap/ girls only couples than there are full swap couples. And yes, a good swinging hubby is very hard to find

Interesting! I'm not into that lifestyle and my FH and I really don't like to share at ALL. I don't know of anybody that's into that or maybe my friends just don't tell who knows!