Swingers?

Mrs. Potts -- Swinging can be catoragized as many different things, but the basics of it is switching partners, or you having sex with someone and FH watching or FH having sex with someone and you watching. It is what you want it to be. However, I would never seperate from my FH if we are full swapping then we will both be in the same room doing our own thing.

Please feel free to ask as many questions as you want, I will try and be as helpful as I can be.

How did you guys bring this up to your FH if you didn't meet at a swinger party? Did you ask him before you got together? Did you make the decision together after you were together?

**You said to ask questions so here we go! I am very interested.

What I find interesting is that there seem to be more women curious about this whereas men are more often all "Oh hail to tha NAW" about it. And ditto Amy's question.

@ Holly Knoxville- I PMed you back.

I'm so glad so many of you are sending me messages with questions about this, I'm happy to answer anything and encourage people to try new things.

@Amy- for us, it all started when I told him I was bi and wanted to bring girls into our bedroom, we were only in college at the time so of course he said hell yes! This seems to be true of most swinger couples I know, it starts out bc the girl wants to experiement, but then you realize how much fun it is and want to try it with other couples. We started swinging after we were together about 2 years, we tried to start sooner but we had no idea how to go about it, until we found the swinger websites and were like "no way! it's this easy?!". Sexxymofo.com is basically facebook for swingers. You can literally pick out who you want to hook up with, look at their pics, see their profile and what they're into...its awesome.

We are interested; we figure at least by being Swingers, we wont be tempted to just straight out "cheat" on each other.

@ heather- I know! I found that interesting as well!

@Clare, I certainly do not believe that swingers are "some crazy breed of deviants", I'd never think such a thing.

@Trina, it is mentioned in several post that somehow whoever would disagree with the lifestyle would close minded and catty, that's why I had to put myself in that category, thanks. I certainly I'm not saying that you are going to hell or would ever call you names, like I said before only one person can judge both you and I, and only He knows where we'll end up, for all I know I might go to hell myself if I don't watch out.

As most people already know, whether Christian or not marriage was created by GOD and He clearly instructed that certain things are to remain between a husband and his wife and any typle of sexual acts or whatever with anyone else is not accepted. I just never understood why anyone would want to yes get married as GOD instructed but not follow the rest of what He says,

I agree with Clare, there are a lot of different levels of swingers. Some may like to be watched or to watch others while others are into full partner swap and orgies, or some people like watching their mate with somebody else, and some only bring home one sex/single people. We only do what we can mentally handle. Rules are set from the beginning (which is the key to avoid jealousy). For example some people set rules of no kissing, oral sex only, no oral sex, etc. Some people even have rules on certain positions that are and are not allowed. Depends on the couple.

I don't know if you've seen my posts about cheating on my bf during our two weeks of silence, but I posted that on here and some say it wasn't cheating or whatever but to me it was and never in a million years will I try to justify it in any way. It was wrong and that's it, I've told him about it we're working things out now.

We plan to get married and I know that the marriage has to be sacred, everything needs to be between the 2 of us no sam and sally involved whatsoever. If I am to agree to get married as God intended I am also to agree that I can no longer sleep with anyone else until my husband dies and remarry. There is no way to justify bringing in others in the marriage whether both party agrees or not or cheating behind the person's back.

Thanks for answering some of the earlier questions, if you have any thing else to add to the other questions I'd like to hear your thoughts, this is very interesting. Thank you again

Sherley - I don't think that marriage was created by god - and I'm not getting married "as god instructed". But I'm an agnostic so there ya go.

To me, marriage is sharing my home, my life, my finances, and my children with my FH as protected under secular law. It is our declaration to the world that we are committed to one another. In fact, god won't even be mentioned during my wedding ceremony.

To each their own.

That is def. not what they depict in movies. lol. I still don't think I would feel comfortable with all of that, but I do see how some people can be into the swinging lifestyle. How do you know when these parties are? Or how do you meet Swingers?

@ Amy, one of the things that I think most people gain from the lifestyle is a greater friendship. fh and I talk about things that other people would not imagine talking about with their mate. I noticed a lot of women say that their fh would never go for it, which may be true for half of them but the other half are not answering that question truthfully. Just like the adverage woman has considered it, so has the adverage man.

@Heather, if GOD didn't then please tell me who did. I guess I should know that most people just see the legal aspects of it which man created but believe it or not the act of getting married, being commited to someone for the rest of your life comes from GOD.

Also thanks for answering Heather, I learn something new too, I have a friend who's agnostic and he does not believe in marriage at all, I guess some agnostics have differnt views on things. I sure will try to get in contact with him

I know FH would go for it. Me on the other hand, I find it interesting, and I think maybe if i was in the situation, I would make the decision. But, sitting on my couch at home, I do not think I could do it. But, maybe if I was at a swinger party, to check it out, I may be more interested. And I think a lot of men who say they would never try it are lying. No offense, but men like sex, a lot. lol. And I think they would change their mind if the opportunity was presented to them.

Fatima- good for you guys! an honest relationship is the best kind.

Heather- Thank you!! I couldn't agree more. I'm an athiest so anytime someone trys to give "god" credit for something man created I just get the giggles...sorry! I may not believe in a god but I would never and have never felt the need to cheat -that's the beauty of swingers.

Mrs Potts- nowadays most swingers meet eachother on swinger websites like the one I mentioned. The swinger sites promote and sponsor these lifestyle events and parties.

@Clare, me cheating was wrong and I know it, I do not justify it nor will I ever try to justify it in any way, believing in GOD does not mean that you never make mistakes or do something wrong in life but someone who's striving to get better and change. Christian are not perfect, any one who believe in GOD and claims to do that would simply be lying to themselves.

And again, man did not create marriage, the whole idea of marriage came from GOD as I stated before and He does deserve and gets all the credit for it. We could go back and forth on this 'cause we have different beliefs, so good luck to you all and have a wonderful life.

Thank you all, be safe.

Sherley- Are you refering to the God in the bible? Guessing so since you said christians. Sorry to break it to you but God did not invent the act of marriage. Actually people were getting married long before the bible. The Greeks and Romans got married to established "rights" or ownership of a female and then the children she would have. If she could not reproduce, well sucks for her! It was really just a way of saying that the man is now taking care of this girl, not her birth family. I'm not too sure of the history or marriage prior to that. Religion came into the scene much later. You probably won't like hearing how the different versions of the bible was actually "put together" so I'll spare you those details

In my eyes cheating is wrong, but its not cheating when both partners agree..which would be what swinging is. In pretty much every religion God=love. So thats really what should matter if you are a follower

Also just wanted to add- that human beings naturally are not monogamous. Most mammal are not. Blame evolution! So you could say Humans were made in the image of God-either there is a flaw because we are not naturally monogamous or some person made up some rules and stuck them in a book that said we were suppose to be monogamous to keep people inline and from crossing social classes (or the horror!). What you read in the bible is very possibly NOT exactly what he said anyways..

I'm personally choosing to go with the latter. I find it annoying that your claiming to be a Christian but then being judegmental at the same time. Kinda contradicts each other!

Swingers-have fun swinging Maybe when me and hubby check into a nursing home we might give it a try to see how we like it. lol

This conversation is very interesting... It's just my personal belief and no one is required to think the same as me... I kind of have to believe that God did have something to do with the institution of marriage when He created Eve to be a partner for Adam. (But if you don't agree with Creation, then I guess you won't agree with my point of view). However, if you do believe in God... I also have to refer to the verse "and the two shall become one flesh" (it doesn't include 3 or 4 people).

Obviously many people find this lifestyle to be exciting - sex is such a big part of our culture and maybe it's the thrill of something forbidden. But if God's plan for marriage between only 2 people seems too boring... maybe it does seems restrictive... I think it is meant to be for our own safety and protection, whether it's physical or emotional. We all have our insecurities and deep down - I think we all long for someone to love us unconditionally... faithfully...