“Tacky” vs “elegant”

I will tear my hair out if I hear tacky one more time and I have over a year to go. Elegant not so much but it's not far behind tacky.

I, too, am sick of tacky. It's hard not to use it though. Calling someone or something cheap, tasteless, uncivilized, or rude seems harsh. Could probably get away with impolite or not appropriate. I'll try to use those more.

I feel like I only really use the word "tacky" when involving something that is totally rude to guests. ie asking people for money

Yea I feel like everyone has this expectation that they think weddings should be so extravagant and it's like at the end of the day people are just there to celebrate with you whether or not it's a slice of pizza or a four course plated meal

A round of applause for us ladies drinking wine out of coffee mugs! 👏👏👏

Do I want it to look nice? Absolutely. Do I wish I could just get a pack of clear solo cups and call it a day? Absolutely. Lol.

I drink my wine out of a Dollar Tree glass that states: “Wine is cheaper than therapy”- and with planning a wedding, family illness/drama, FSD DRAAAAAMA, my health issues, going back to college, nightmare construction annnnnnd planning the wedding 500 miles away/ oops I said planning 2x - how tacky of me! Lol

Yes. I am soooooo sick of FH( and his beeatch 22yo daughter, after 8yrs you’d think she’d get over it?!- long story: but I’ve tried to be kind and since she turned 21 and we got engaged and her behavior has gotten 100x worse I am done trying!) telling me that making the decor( painting) is “Tacky” and he wants “elegant”, but refuses to up budget for the 150-200ppl( mostly his btw!) to BUY, pre-made “non-tacky” decor I am drinking my wine and painting my shizznitt and hating those 2 words soooooooo
much!!!!

Now we are about ho head to FL, and deal with his “darling” mother and my “darling” father- and truly sweet stepparents, and listen to the bit£€>< begin about “my dad paying”( I’m 41 and have been living w/53yo Fiancé 8 years!), “costing too
much”( yet so and so MUST be invited! This from his mom), Fiancé goading my dad into an argument because he can( he just needs to not!) and yeah..... sigh and bother. It’s gonna be anloooooooong week

(Apologies, storm hit and knocked my power out!)
I’m literally hearing these words from everyone now, even my cake vendor. She liked the cake design I wanted, “This is going to look so elegant” meanwhile I’m hearing Tacky about even my veil.
We only get four months to plan this(family member is unwell) so I mean it’s not going to look like something out of a magazine or a pinterest inspiration board. Let’s be real. It’s just FH and I and we’re not made of money, honey. I’m up to my eyeballs in diy projects to save money. I spent most of our planning even finding catering because we have so many guests with food restrictions(both health and beliefs related and we love them so of course they get to eat!)

I’ve put more thought into our guests merriment than anything else, so if the decor or anything else is Tacky I think I’m going to feel really bad.

I think the wedding my friends and family would plan if I let them would be tacky lol. I'm not saying I want things elegant either. I want things nice. Maybe even a little quirky. I'm weird about what I think is tacky. I'm not in to the boho look with mason jars and burlap for brides who don't live on a farm or anything. I think overly on the nose decorations are tacky like Mrs. and Ms. banners. That being said I've been told what I want for decor is tacky too. On the flip side I hear the word elegant and I almost think overly fancy. Like your trying to be something dis genuine. Putting on a big show of wealth when you really can't afford it. The wedding industry brain washes us into thinking everything has to be perfect. It really doesn't and you'll waste more of your energy and stress trying to make it perfect and elegant than just having something nice, something content, something real and genuine.

View Quoted Comment Oh man I hate burlap too but that’s only because I have the most sensitive skin on earth. When I was shopping for decor that stuff was EVERYWHERE. I had a choice between burlap or silver and crystal everything. Luckily brides seem to hate the color gold so I found a lot of my stuff on clearance.

I think what’s bothering me most about those words is applying it to the bride or groom themselves. If people wanna diss my candy dishes or whatever, that’s fine but the wedding industry is so cutthroat about what you even look like. I’m an offbeat bride, I’m automatically getting the sideeye.

I’m excited and this is going to be a rocking party but I can’t shake how toxic wedding planning feels. I even heard my poor FH talking about something he wanted and he paused and added “but that’s tacky isn’t it?”

View Quoted Comment

I was tired of it too. One person's tacky is someone else's elegant. I drink wine out of a mug, to. It says "Cup of Happy" and it sure it!

Tacky was my first set of in laws wanting to distribute drink tickets at my first wedding. I was like, "Uh no this is a carnival event. Half you people look and act like carnies but no." My mom was so horrified she paid the open bar tab, lol!!!!