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Madeline
Just Said Yes August 2021

Take away a bridesmaid?

Madeline, on November 9, 2020 at 3:39 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13
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So I had asked 7 people to be my bridesmaids, one was sort of just me being nice because it’s my fiancé’s sister but I never speak to her and am not close with her I just felt pressured. My fiancé can only find 6 people to be groomsmen. There is no one else that he is close to at all! Do you think I could nicely ask his sister and just say like hey he can’t find anyone else and I have one too many now I was wondering g of you would be okay with not being a bridesmaid anymore? If not that’s okay I will try to figure it out!


I don’t want to be mean and don’t want to hurt her feelings but I really need to take someone off since my fiancé has no one else and she lives out of town and o barely ever talk to her. We just aren’t close! Is this something I can do or is this totally awful??

13 Comments

Latest activity by Ally, on November 10, 2020 at 12:07 AM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I wouldn't recommend it, but it's ultimately your decision.
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  • Samantha
    Expert October 2021
    Samantha ·
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    Bridal parties don't need to be even. Asking her to step down will most likely cause a rift that will last the entirety of your relationship. You are literally informing her that she is just there to even out sides.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    There is no reason why the number of your bridesmaids has to be the same as his bridesmen. They are not couples. 2 can walk together, or one alone. There is a fair chance that with 13 BM and GM one will have a problem, be sick, move for a job, or get into a major disagreement with you or FI, and drop out. are you going to cut someone else then? I think is is unfair for you to add her on a whim, you don't really know her, and now want to cut her over numbers, like she has no feelings. How unkind, when she has done nothing wrong.
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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    No, don't do this. The sides don't have to be equal.

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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I wouldn’t do it- that would definitely cause a rift in the family. The #s don’t have to match. However, you could mention that you FH’s side will have less #’s so she will be walking down with 2 others or possibly by herself. Give her a heads up & if she decides she doesn’t want to do that, then that’s her decision.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    I agree with the previous comments. The sides don't need to be even. And removing someone from the wedding party is typically a friendship-ending move.
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Definitely do not ask her to stop down. This woman is going to be your family soon and will theoretically be in your life forever- I wouldn’t recommend starting it by hurting her feelings or causing a rift in the relationship. The idea of the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen having to match is outdated. A ton of weddings these days don’t have even numbered wedding parties.
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  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
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    That would be a relationship ending move. I asked my husband's sister and cousin to be bridesmaids and I'm not especially close to either of them. At times I regretted it, especially because his cousin ended up screwing me over financially with a wedding-related event, but at the end of the day, they're family now and always will be. Once I made the choice to ask them, I had to commit to it, and you should too.

    We had the bridesmaids walk down the aisle solo, groomsmen as a group off a side aisle, and then everyone in the recessional walked by themselves in a single file. I never liked the idea of being escorted by someone who isn't my partner, and didn't want any of my people to have to deal with that.

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  • Y
    Dedicated January 2021
    Yvonne ·
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    I think given since she's going to be your sister-in-law, don't ask her to step down. If she's not offended by it, I'm sure someone in their family would be. I do think that having her as a bridesmaid is also a great opportunity for you two to be a little closer too. Smiley smile

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I definitely wouldn't as this could really hurt her feelings and your chances of ever having a relationship with her. It could ask cause problems with your in-laws. Bridal parties don't need to be even.
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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    I don't think you should ask her to step down it's very rude and can be relationship ending she is going to be like your sister you should have thought about this before you asked, I have been in the position where I was asked to be a bridesmaid just for her numbers and the bride and I rarely talk it was my cousin, it was a really crappy of her to do that and you can just tell she didnt want me to be in there my suggestion just keep her as a bridesmaid

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  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
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    Do you want to ask her to step down because you’re not close, or because your sides will be uneven? My sides are uneven and it really was not an issue at all. If you ask someone to step down, you are going to be looked at in a negative light and like others said, it’s a relationship ending move. If you aren’t close with that person, or they don’t really care about being involved, it sorts itself out in the end. I felt a bit of pressure to ask the best mans gf to be a bridesmaid, and after causing drama she dropped out, which was fine with me: she was the one who looked like a jerk, not me.
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  • A
    Devoted May 2021
    Ally ·
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    I’m not sure why you would be willing to start off your relationship with your new sister in law by offending her just so that your bridal party is even. You don’t have to be close, it’s her brother getting married and I’m sure she would love to be standing there with him. The concept of even bridal parties is ridiculous, it should be the people you are closest to standing there with you but since you already asked her, she will likely be very offended if you uninvite her to be in her brother’s wedding
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