Taking Back an Invitation

Are you inviting anyone else from work? If yes, then saying you're going with something more intimate may backfire, because she may find out that you just excluded her and not everyone.

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Unfortunately, I think I may just uninvite everyone from work. I wasn't totally tied to the idea of them being there, anyway. It was more out of courtesy, since I do talk about wedding planning a lot with some coworkers. But it won't break my heart at all if they aren't there.

Is that the only co-worker you had planned on inviting?
But I definitely understand. I had a previous co-worker and currently have another co-worker who are just so judgmental. I'm over it lol. I learned to just block them out and have them rant to someone else.
But if she is the only one you invited then just tell her that due to COVID you have to reduce the amount of people attending. Or you can just say that you have reduced your guest list because you and your FH have decided to do a more smaller and intimate wedding.

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If you're uninviting everyone from work, then "unfortunately, we've had to downsize our event" should work (though it's not ideal to be uninviting people, things happen). If you're friends with these people on social media, I'd be careful about posting photographs.

I would be honest with her and say that you only want to be surrounded with those who support you on your special day. And she clearly hasn’t shown support.
Some people have to be reminded that they are wretched.

Saying you have decided to downsize MAY work, but tbh if I were in your shoes I would just suck it up and honor the STD I sent her and let her attend. I would be way too paranoid that she would find out I was being untruthful, and I wouldn’t want to have to worry about what I said around her, or what I posted on social media, or what other people tagged me in on social media, etc. It. just wouldn’t be worth the headache to me. And if she did find out you were lying, it could potentially ruin your working relationship with a person you see and speak to on a daily basis. And if you uninvite your other coworkers as well, and any of them find out the truth, you know they are going to talk to one another, and now you could have a seriously uncomfortable situation at work with lots of coworkers. Again, it just wouldn’t be worth the potential backlash to me. Plus, it’s not like you are going to be spending a lot of time with this person on your wedding day. You will be busy and would probably only see her for a couple minutes. Obviously you should do whatever you feel in your heart is right. This are just my personal thoughts on it.

Thanks, everyone. I'm not even friends with these coworkers on social media, which is also making me realize that maybe I just invited them as a courtesy. I'm gonna give it some time and see how I'm feeling in a couple of months. My wedding isn't until June. I think I mainly had to vent somewhere, so thank you for listening.

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Honestly this has a lot of risk of backfiring in a professional environment.

For the work people, I would either honour your save the dates for everyone or uninvite everyone, which is rude but better than uninviting one person.