Taking Man’s Last Name?

I'm keeping my last name because I am a doctor and my last name is my identity at work. I would have to change my name with the medical board and on multiple licenses- state license, DEA license etc etc.

Also his last name is a Hispanic last name and this will confuse patients in the Spanish speaking community I work in.

I also am the last of my name since my dad has two daughters and my sister changed her last name.

I don't think there will be many issues with us having kids and them taking his last name but if there are I'm okay with it. We are a mixed race couple too so hopefully they just end up looking like me and that's enough for people haha jk.

Do what you will do if you have kids. If you give them his last name - take it as well. You'll be explaining for the rest of your life. If you are good with that, don't take it.

Never occurred to me to change my last name. It is my name. It has always been my name. I would never signal that I had been shifted over to a new male owner. No problems with husband or anyone else.

I have been having the struggle in my mind a bit lately too. I work in the pharma industry and therefore have signed a lot of documents and undergone background checks. For as selfish as it sounds I really don't want to have to keep providing my marriage certificate or go through the official name change through work as well as the governmental change. Correcting business contacts with my new email etc. However I don't mind being called MRS and there's no way I'm keeping both last names it's long enough now adding 8 more letters makes my name 24 letters long.

My SIL didn't change her last name and she stated her family name will die with her as her sister changed her last name. It did make for some awkward family trips as some thought they weren't married and a few times that I was my brother's wife. But my family didn't really say much about whether they disliked the idea.

A friend of mine changed her last name but named one of her children with her last name as his first. She had one of the lucky last names that would work with and could have children so she certainly was lucky.

My neighbor didn't change her name legally but she doesn't correct people when they call her by her husband's name. Online she uses both names.

Neither my uncle or his husband changed their names when they got married.

If you really want to shake things up you could always make a new last name for you both or have him take yours.

Hmm, I have thought about this a little as well.

I'm probably going to change my last name, mostly because between the two of us we have 7 syllables and hyphenating would be a pain in the ass. Besides, I lived a good long life with my last name- why not shake things up a bit? Make a new identity for myself. For me it's really not that big of a deal.

Besides, it will be fun taking on a Filipino last name!

I completely surprised myself. I never thought I'd take a man's last name. But I want to now because I like the feeling of being connected through it and feeling like a true family. I've decided to have two last names. No hyphen--did some research and it's actually easier not to hyphenate because then you can choose legally what you want to be in different situations (i.e. one last name, two last names, etc.) It's important to me that I keep my last name too, because my father is dead and he didn't have any sons. No one else to keep the name. Also, my family has a tradition of the middle name being a last name from the mother's family, so I'll use either my dad's middle name or my last name as the child's middle name to honor my dad.

That being said, I will NOT be "Mrs." I really don't like the term--men don't have to change from "Mr." to something because they're married. I will be "Ms." like I always have been.

Also, I'm picking and choosing wedding traditions. We will have a first dance. We will be having a family dance instead of "father and daughter" and "mother and son" dances. I am having my mother walk me down the aisle. We will not be doing a garter or bouquet toss. My FH and I will share a hotel room the night before (wedding is slightly outside of our city). I will be doing the something old, something new, etc.

WOW exact same situation here! To the T!

I thought us both having two last names with no hyphen was cool but he didn't like it. He has no preference as to what my last name is and I asked him if he would be willing to change his name to mine and he said no. I don't blame him - men don't grow up thinking they'll change their name to their SO's when they get married.

Because he isn't willing to change his, I kind of just said I'm not willing to change mine then, either, and we moved on with our planning. I like his last name a lot, so if we have kids and choose to go with his then no problem - I don't care too much.

PLUS my last name is supposed to be Johnson but dad was born out of wedlock at a Catholic hospital and they refused to put Johnson on the birth certificate - they gave him mom's last name instead and I kind of like that empowering moment despite it being rooted in patriarchy...

Just a word to the wise. I am divorced and getting remarried. I have 2 children from my first marriage and I took my maiden name back. The last thing that I wanted was for my ex to remarry and have my name and his new wife's be the same name. Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Smith - would be creepy... Eeep! No one has questioned that my sons are mine. The name they call me is Mommy - well, now Moooooom. LoL! But anyone worried about kids and your name - they don't ever call you by your name. You're mom - forever and always. lol! So, please don't stress that.

I just made a post - I'm trying to figure out how to be Ms. Me at work (I have publications too.) and Mrs. Him socially. Any ideas?

I'm keeping my last name because it's an unfair burden on women to expect them to change their passports, ID, email addresses, legal documents, bank accounts, etc., not to mention giving up a piece of their identity. I think our parents are raising their eyebrows a little bit to that decision, but I've never really cared what people think, plus older generations are always shocked when the younger generations do things differently. My fiance doesn't care if I take his name or not, and frankly if he was the type of person to try to force me to change a piece of my identity against my will I wouldn't be marrying him to begin with. So there's my two cents!

Same here. I can tell FH is upset that I won't be taking his name and is a bit upset about it but he has or will make his peace with it.

I also don't love the fact that his ex wife kept his name, so I wouldn't love the fact that I would have the same name as her (she's a piece of work).