Tell me about your send-off ideas/logistics.

"But is there any point really doing a send-off if it's NOT photographed?"


The point should be the same as the point of your entire wedding day- for the enjoyment and celebration of you and your spouse, whether its photographed or not. Don't be so into photos that you forget this is a day you should be enjoying in the moment.
Other than that, I'm not into send offs. The photos never turn out like the ones people see on pinterest, and most of the guests are gone by then anyway. We plan on closing our night by returning to what matters the most of the day- our marriage, just the two of us. We will end by doing a "last dance" of just me and FH.

I completely agree with Carissa. Your marriage matters most, so yes, a send off would still matter if it wasn’t photographer. However, you could leave an hour before the end of your wedding and have a real send off with glow sticks and get it photographed and then spend that hour maybe in a different part of the venue with just your husband.

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That's a sweet idea, and I'm glad you mentioned it!

What you're saying is definitely what I was trying to get at.

If we were being photographed, I feel like we should plan something that makes use of our photographer's expertise and will result in pretty photos (as well as lovely memories).

But equally, I'm not so into photos that I'm prepared to force our guests to participate in a farce, you know? I want whatever we do to be real.

And if it's real but unphotographed, we could do something that wouldn't necessarily photograph that well, but will create a feel good memory. Something a bit more 'real' - like your last dance! I'm hoping people post some other ideas!

Friends of ours did a tunnel of guests with their hands over their heads, but my partner is so tall that this wouldn't be comfortable or practical for us.

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This certainly is a solution, and I did half-heartedly float this to my fiance when we first started thinking about the practicalities of how this would work, but as he said, we rarely get that many of the people who love us in one room and wants to spend as much time with them as possible, which makes sense. I mean, a send off isn't a requirement - my brother in law and his wife had one at their recent wedding and the photos are nice, but not - as Carissa says - the most amazing pinterest-worthy photos anyway.

But I did want to ask what other people are doing, as I'm sure we're not the first people with wrestle with how to handle this! And all potential solutions are welcome!

I was at a wedding where a fake send-off was done for this exact reason (they wanted pictures of it, but the photographer wasn't there until the end of the reception.)

Do NOT do this.

It resulted in about half the guests leaving. To them, send-off = end of the reception.

I don't think platitudes like "the marriage is what matters" are useful or necessary here. Grand exits are done for photos, so it's perfectly reasonable that you want it photographed.

You could always do the "send off" in the ceremony recessional instead of at the end of the night. This is perfectly acceptable. I would generally recommend something toss-able (like flower petals) in this instance.

I've been thinking about this too since my BIL's wedding last summer where the whole sparkler send off part was at the end of the night but it was staged and at the time I thought it was so weird! But then after giving it more thought I realized that yeah the point of the grand exit is really to be photographed. Plus the odds that you get the perfect photo on the first try is next to none, sparkers go out people blink the dip might be too fast and blurry etc so of course it's staged! I saw an idea where they gathered just the immediate family and the wedding party and photographed the staged send off before the photographer left while the other guests danced. I think this is what we'll be doing with a sparkler exit because A) It's much easier to wrangle only a handful of people and will take less time too and B) we picked these people to be in our wedding because they're most important to us and would put them at the front of the line anyways because the front is who will be most seen in the photos.

And yes at the end of the night you're married either way but you spend the extra money on "grand exit" props specifically for the photos and video and no that doesn't take anything away from "the marriage is what matters." That idea is SO silly like of course the most important part of getting married is the marriage DUH but you have your whole lives to create memories during your marriage and only one wedding day. So I say yes there can be a "point" to doing certain things on your wedding day that specifically have to do with that day and not your marriage as a whole.

I only did send off for ceremony because it was easier to organize.

i had a bubble send off and i just left it at the sign in table for them to grab and so when we were getting ready to kiss, the officiant said "prepare your bubbles of well wishes as they will now kiss to become mr and mrs"

We went to a wedding where they did a fake send off b/c the photographer was leaving. The best man came around to each table and told everyone "Hey, we are doing a fake send off before the photographer leaves and coming right back inside". Since they told everyone individually I didn't notice many people think it was the real deal. I'm budget mindful so I thought it was smart.

I also love the idea of staging it with just the wedding party or a few close friends for photos. Genius!

View Quoted Comment I understand! We’ll have to figure this out at our own wedding too!

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This is EXACTLY what I thought would happen, above and beyond not being keen on 'faking' something just for the photos (although no shade to those who do, if those photos are important to them!)

The ceremony send off is a good idea. One auntie at my brother in law's wedding grabbed petals and fluttered them over the couple and the photographer captured it as such a perfect moment. I'd love something like that one our day.

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Yes you've hit on so much of what I was getting at. Why buy the props if it isn't going to be photographed? Might as well do something prop-free!

and the bridal party only is an idea I hadn't thought of! Hopefully both you and I will find a solution that works for us

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That's a sweet idea. I've also heard you do have to be careful with rose petals, because I have one friend who said the red ones stained her dress! So something to think on, and this makes bubbles a bit safer!

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That honestly is genius. I think having a minion you can deputise to explain things definitely would help!