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Thank you note

Anna, on September 7, 2022 at 5:37 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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My boyfriend and I attended a destination wedding of his relative - a young woman that I knew for about a year before the event. She attended my house on multiple occasions before we were invited. We decided to go, I had to take time off, and we arranged our travel reservations. Our wedding gift to the couple was monetary, my boyfriend wrote a check (account was in his name, but he told me it was ok), and we both signed a card that came with the check. After the wedding, the bride sent a thank you note to my boyfriend only. We live together, and it arrived to our house. I think it was rude, and I told him about it. He thinks it was OK, because the account was in his name, and the bride thought it was from him. Was it rude to me? I feel bad that he supports her and tells me just to get over it.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on September 8, 2022 at 2:49 AM
  • Imani
    Master July 2022
    Imani ·
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    Hmm, maybe she forgot? Even if she didn’t think the check was from you, you attended the wedding, so a small thank you to you would have been nice. I can definitely understand where you’re coming from. Regardless if you only met her once it would have been nice to be included in the thank you note. I know for us when we sent our thank you cards, I personalized them. If it was a couple & thanked them both for attending and the gift.
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  • Kelly
    Super October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    It'd odd to me that you weren't included in the thank you. On the other hand, I can see how the couple may have been confused by his name only on the check. Leaving you off doesn't seem like a deliberate slight.

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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    It is rude, but I’d assume it was probably accidental. We wrote out a list of gifts received to guide us through our thank yous, but I could easily see someone trying to “simplify” the process by stacking the checks and writing thank yous as they flip through them. It’s obviously flawed but not necessarily ill intentioned. I, too, would be bothered by it, but not enough to read into or hold a grudge. My advice is to feel your feelings and then let it go.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    It's rude on its face, but likely an oversight. This is one of those things not worth dwelling on
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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    I agree with this. Not worth the discussion.

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  • C
    CM ·
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    You're correct that they should have thanked both of you since both of your names were on the card. It may very well have been unintentional or an oversight but I also don't think there's anything wrong with BF letting them know as a FYI that the gift was actually from both of you.

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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Right. it seems better if the BF does it since he probably would not be as distraught on the possible oversight. He could just send a note "you are welcome for the gift from the both of us."

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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    Maybe the check got separated from the card? Or like Mcskipper mentioned, they might have just stacked the checks and wrote thank-you notes to whichever name was on the check? It sounds like an oversight to me, so my best advice would be to let yourself feel hurt and then move on. You probably wouldn't have kept the card long, so it's not worth letting this take up your energy.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    It was probably an unintentional oversight. I would let it go.

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