Thank yous

Do you have an expected date from your photographer? Have you asked for a "sneak peak" that you can use? If you don't have a date relatively soon, I'd just send non-personalized thank yous. Guests honestly don't care about getting a photo; they just want to be thanked.

Hey there, Elizabeth!

It’s recommended that for gifts received at or after the wedding, up to three months is acceptable but the sooner the better. If you received any gifts before the wedding, they should have been sent two to three weeks after.

When did the photographer say you should have the photos by? Would you consider reaching out and ask him/her to send you one so you can go ahead and create your cards?

It took us about 6 weeks to get our photos and thank you cards ordered!

View Quoted Comment They said sneak peeks at 6-8 weeks. I'm hoping to get all the photos soon

Miss Manners says that thank-you notes should be sent as soon as you can get to your pen. You had about three weeks. Send them today and apologize for being so late.

I think you should have done it already, personally. Thank you cards do not need photos. Go to wal-mart and get generic TY's and get them sent out ASAP.

I would go ahead and send some type of thank you notes now. Then when photos come in, you can send another card if you'd like!

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Apologize?! These people are lucky they're even getting a thank you! Hardly anyone got us a gift, and the few that did were SUPER stingy! I'm not apologizing for "late" thank yous!

Proper etiquette states that if you're invited, you give a gift. If you go to the wedding, you get a gift that at least covers your plate cost. That did not happen.

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Any gift necessitates a handwritten thank-you note sent within a week or two. Your actual opinion of the gift does not matter; you send the polite, grateful note.

Etiquette does not require the giving of any gift at all, and the "cover your plate" idea is trashy in the extreme. Suggest you read Miss Manners who actually knows how to behave properly in social situations.

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OK, Miss Manners, let me ask you this:

I travel 2,000 miles to be a bridesmaid in someone's wedding (I pay for travel, hotel, dress, shoes, hair, nails, etc) and I give them a $500 gift. When they come to my wedding, a couple hours from their location (again 2,000 miles for us), they give me NOTHING! Not even a card!

I guarantee that's not proper manners. I'm sorry, but I have a right to be pissed.

View Quoted Comment Anyone who didn’t give a gift should not be sent a thank you card. Assuming you thanked everyone for coming at the wedding, there is no need to reiterate that sentiment.


If someone gave a gift though, they should receive a thank you ASAP, whether you’re satisfied with what they gave or not.

A wedding is not even about the gifts. Proper etiquette is to send out the “thank you” ASAP (No need to wait on wedding photos). Regardless what you think about your gift. Say your thank you and move on. If you don’t like what you got, then regift it, sell it, or give it to good will. Either way, your guest took the time to go to your wedding and spent their own money on a gift for you ( doesn’t matter if the guest were stingy in your opinion) the least you can do is say thank you.

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You obviously are pissed, and I probably would be, too. Do you intend to end the relationship? To talk with your (I assume) friend and try to salvage it? Though I'd find it hard to say, "I gave you a present and you didn't give me one." Certainly I'd never give her another present.