Thanks, But no Thanks

View Quoted Comment Best part is we were looking at October when shes giving birth in september...and its a local wedding. I understand her lack of desire to attend a wedding that close to her due date but it was just really rude.

My aunts inviting them and their families to my official wedding in NY. I’m having a destination wedding in Puerto Rico so we’re going to officially get married at my church privately (roughly a 10 minute thing) as a formality. My mother told her sisters we’re getting married officially at the church and now my aunts and their families want to come and practically turn it into a mini wedding. If I wanted that I would’ve just had a wedding here! If they come then my fiancé has to has his aunts, uncles and cousins come and it turns into a huge thing and I’d feel obligated to feed them after.

My fiancé said we didn’t need save the dates even though we have family from out of state and a couple that lives in Canada..... lol they need to plan way in advance if they consider going

I kid you not, a girl I work with said “if your trying to cut down on the cost just charge everyone like $25 a person to come so it pays for food” 🤦🏼‍♀️

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That's bad She doesn't seem to understand guests shouldn't pay for any part of your wedding. Good on you for knowing better!

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You're so right! Guests from other countries definitely need those!

What does FH stand for?

My fiance also thought his groomsmen didnt need gifts or a proper ask either. Lol
He also thought we could just order chick fil a sandwiches for everyone. Like ask for orders and order it that night 😂

Besides that's it was mostly people projecting their wedding wanta on to me even though that is not the same style I have.

My mom suggested I should rent a wedding dress instead of purchasing one to save tons of money. The logic makes sense so I see where she’s coming from (especially since we’re on a newly tight budget), but I can’t fathom the fact that I’d be wearing a dress another bride wore & a dress a future bride might wear. I feel it takes away from the sentiment of “MY wedding dress.” I think I’d be really attached to it, I wouldn’t want to give it up.

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FH stands for future husband!

Chick fil a is great, but it doesn't really scream wedding

My FH also thinks the groomsmen don't need gifts because it's extra money we don't have. He feels the same about the rehearsal dinner too, that we don't need to feed them. I'm kind of on board with that one though because my rehearsal is just going to be the run through of where everyone is supposed to be and who walks in first, etc. Then I thought of having a big cookout in celebration of us instead of a rehearsal dinner at the venue.

The things that were suggested to me that I'm not doing are:

-First look: I want everyone to see the look on his face when he sees me.

-Spend the night before the wedding with the fiance.

-I was told you NEED ushers although we don't have a seating chart.

My FH is not really involved with planning (thank God) cause every time I do decide to ask for his feedback on something, he will go with something totally opposite my vision...

FH figured we could plan an entire wedding for 2k lmao (he’s very cheap had to explain we gonna need more than that for a formal wedding)

MIL suggested pot luck style (that’s a hard no)

My mom suggested me and my sis have a double wedding (negative, it’s my day I’ve waited over 5 years plus I’m the oldest)

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My FH didn't really know how much things cost until we started planning and looking at vendors! He's super cheap too, so I feel your pain

That double wedding idea though - I would cringe too!

View Quoted Comment Just saying, we got married this past saturday, and had a nacho/taco bar. It was a HUGE hit! Most of our guests had never been to a wedding like that and they thought it was brilliant. My family heard nothing but good things all night long about the food!

My worst:

DH and I use our parent's rings. My mom has been divorced longer than she was married and DHs dad passed away after just a year of his parents being married. Those rings sounded way too unlucky.

My mom wanted me to use her 90s wedding dress. Luckily the sequins had yellowed and I couldn't have worn it anyway. I wanted tulle and her dress is satin.

Money dance, money tree, and honeymoon fund.

My father wanted to be the one to walk me down the aisle but he hasnt been in my life for over 7 years now.

Also, potluck food. No thanks.

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Congratulations on your recent wedding! I'm glad you stood your ground and stayed true to yourself

View Quoted Comment Ugh we had this issue too....His mom would not stop adding ppl to the list that he has no contact with. She even wanted to invite her bosses "because they'll give us money"...I still havent heard the end of it and we're married. I'm sorry, but I cut out a ton of ppl from my side that would have loved to attend, I'm not adding someone because they might send money....

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That's awful how his mom saw people as money. You're so right, it's not about the gifts!

Another one to add, I’m sure I’ll be getting more even on the day of the wedding.

Mom: “Why don’t you just get your makeup done for free at the makeup counter?”
Me: “The free makeup lesson doesn’t include event makeup and it’s an hour away anyway. I already have a makeup artist don’t worry.”
Mom: “So just get a makeup lesson”
Me: “My makeup artist is giving me a good deal, don’t worry about it.”
Mom: “But the makeup counter is free!”

FFS mom not everything has to be free! 😤 Why would it make any sense to get my hair done at my regular salon, then drive an hour one way to get my makeup done? I’d spend more money on gas than I would getting makeup done at the salon. I don’t know why she’s freaking out over every little thing, she’s never been like this. I’m paying for everything and she acts like it’s her wallet. It’s exhausting.

View Quoted Comment Wild. I actually suggested ivory for my bridal party (my dress is sort of light ivory lace on a dark nude/suntan color lining, so it doesn’t have the same effect of a traditional bridal gown) and they all felt they didn’t want to wear a version of white - even though I was actually the one suggesting it! I could understand her point if she was uncomfortable with a price point or neckline or a high slit, but it isn’t fair of her to demand you change your color scheme for her. I’m sorry to hear her stubbornness got in the way of your friendship

View Quoted Comment I told her that SHE could pick the style- as long as it was long & elegant, and limited sequins, and then I even said *I* would pay for her dress- up to $200! So she had even less excuse than if I was trying to force her into a high slit, strapless, $500 dress! It really is sad that it came down to a dress- but her negativity to what I could or couldn’t do for/with My wedding was always a sore spot- hated talking to my MOH about MY wedding.
And aside from that her trying to “one up” me on health issues( chronic ones here) or drama was annoying.
So, I am sorry I lost a friend- but not her if that makes sense?