The 5 stages of grief...

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THIS is what really made me angry the other day. I know everyone is going through their own struggles but people really are so insensitive and oblivious sometimes. My own SIL sent a text to my fiance and I about how our county isn't starting the reopening process until the END OF JUNE. I responded that I'm hopeful it will happen before then because we've been on a steady decline. And she continued to say that she's not hopeful at all. I chose not to respond because it made me incredibly angry. The negativity just wasn't what I needed at the time and her remarks just made me feel like she wasn't even considering our wedding.

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We're in the same boat! Our venue is having us make a plan B 2 months out and then make a final decision 1 month out. I also haven't started alterations on my dress and feel so lost as to what to do about that! I understand why people are just making the decision now to postpone in order to relieve stress.

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That's great that you have people in your life who are so supportive! I agree that the people who care the most will be there. I hope you have a beautiful day!

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I'm so sorry your family can't be there. I'm in the same boat where my family lives across the country and all of my in laws live close. I know the circumstances are less than ideal but that's so exciting you're expecting, congratulations! Our situations may not be exactly the same but we understand your feelings and your hurt and we are all here for you in any way that you need

View Quoted Comment I haven't been able to get in touch with the dress store...they did send an email canceling my first alterations appt, and I have emailed several time with no response...my FH has already come to terms with pushing the date out, I just wish we could get a final decision from the venue, not leaving us in limbo

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I'm supposed to have my first fitting next week, and I don't think that's happening. The dress shop said they'd contact me if I have to reschedule. But what if I still decide to get married in August with a small group, and I still can't get alterations done? I can't just get a new, casual summery white dress - I'm short and will need alterations regardless!

I Keep telling people I'm in the stages of grief. Our wedding was supposed to be 5/24/2020. In March we were at a dinner when his dad called and asked if we were thinking of a backup date. I lost it and just couldn't hold it together for a few days. When it became a reality that May wasn't happening, we got very lucky in being able to change the date to October 18. I still had my ups and downs and my bridesmaids did a great job about making my virtual bachelorette and bridal shower so memorable. As our original date gets closer, it gets harder and harder for me to not think of this parallel universe of what should be happening. I also was a very chill bride and really just cared about having the people I love in the same room and then just dancing the night away. I try to just talk to the supportive people who encourage me the wedding will be special and memorable. But I can't help but have a small bit of resentment when friends who were SO picky about their wedding details shrug off my sadness and say we should just elope. I also get really sad when I see people post their anniversary pictures and I think how we'll never get something like that. I'm trying to focus on how special the day will be if we can just get our families together (we're in NY and his family is in California). It's hard to have emotions everywhere and not feel like attacking anyone who has a negative outlook on how things will look in the fall. I work in a school and whenever the subject of our summer session and the fall come up, I get sick to my stomach. I definitely needed a post like this and am always comforted by this community. I find I'm ok with the postponement but not with knowing when that would be until.

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My heart aches for those of you who already postponed until the fall and are now facing the possibility of that not working either. However, I do still feel somewhat hopeful that we will be able to have small gatherings by then. I'm also in NY. That's really sweet that your bridesmaids coordinated virtual gatherings for you. It really is insensitive that everyone keeps telling us to elope like it's no big deal, it really does drive me nuts! There's a reason why we all wanted to plan large weddings in the first place. Many of us have big families and just wanted to be surrounded by all of our loved ones on that day. I'm glad this post could give you some sort of comfort in knowing you're not alone

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That's so crazy they haven't responded! I know businesses are under an insane amount of stress right now but they still owe you a response so you can figure out an alternative plan. Maybe email again and ask for a response from the owner/manager?

View Quoted Comment They must have had ESP bc I just recieved an email! 😉 reschedule for first week of June assuming the restrictions are lifted 🤷‍♀️

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Have you tried reaching out to any tailors in your area? Many of them are small businesses or family owned and they might be willing to work with you. The dry cleaning shop I go to in my town is family owned and they have tailoring as well. That's my backup plan if I can't go somewhere that specializes in bridal alterations.

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That's a good idea; however, my dress is being stored at the bridal shop at the moment... and I paid extra to have it stored there. I'm not sure if I can get it back. If I can, I'll see what I can do from there! Thanks!

I got engaged on March 1st... and haven't even been able to see my parents or my siblings in person to celebrate our engagement! I live in MA and they live in NH so it's not like we're across the country. My dad scheduled a big family dinner but then the restriction for large gatherings went into place. Before getting engaged, my FH and I had talked a lot about doing a destination wedding in Playa del Carmen and I had secretly envisioned and researched a lot of it. He grew up in Mexico so his friends are there, his family is in Texas, and all of my people are here in New England, so no matter what location we chose there would have to be a lot of people traveling.

Before COVID, I didn't think I really cared much about traditional wedding stuff like showers and registries - I just wanted a big party with all of our friends and to dance a lot! But now that everything is a "no" and it's not by my choice, I'm really upset and angry that I'm missing out. I'm the last of my friends to get married (I'm 36) - now it's finally my time and I can't do it! We've settled on doing a micro wedding/large elopement when it's permitted (hoping for august!) and I've come to peace with that decision, but I'm still sad and I'm still angry. I think I do want a bridal shower, but it will probably be in a year or two when we can all safely get together in person! I'm sick of all the virtual stuff and don't want mine to be that way. Last week I ordered a bunch of wedding dresses online... they're getting sent to my sister's house and I'll go try them on there, but I had to guesstimate on my sizes/measurements and guesstimate on the accuracy of the photos. Plus I had to cancel some orders with some websites because they have restrictions about how many dresses you can buy at a time. I'm a very nostalgic and sentimental person by nature so having all of this be so impersonal is really upsetting. #endrant

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I bet there are seamstresses who can do it in their homes, even if your bridal store can't. They'd appreciate the business!

View Quoted Comment Https://www.etsy.com/listing/806698543/wedding-postponed-gift-new-plan-same-man?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=new+plan+same+man+mig&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1&frs=1


Drink up !

View Quoted Comment Thank you! ☺️ same to you! We will get through this, and we'll look bad and wondered why we worried so much!

I know exactly how you feel and I feel the exact same way!! I’m so sorry. This is a disaster and so upsetting. Definitely an emotional roller coaster....It will get better. It HAS to!!

I am not a Covid bride, my wedding isn't until February, but I was a widow at 32 and know 1st hand that ALL the feelings have to be felt, truly and deeply dealt with, to be overcome. You are NOT selfish for wanting your dreaming and planning to be reality. It doesn't mean you won't cope with adjustments and changes, but you are ENTITLED to grieve the loss is something you so looked forward to. You're right, there are other people dealing with worse situations, but that doesn't negate the position you find yourself in.


Whatever happens, whatever you make of this situation and however it plays out, your future with your FH will be beautiful and your ceremony will still be a celebration. Do not compare your frustrations to others. We all have a million ever growing and changing reasons to be "completely over" this virus and the wrath it's unleashed on humanity. Your circumstances are not any less worthy of emotion than the next person.
I will tell you it will all be ok. Maybe not tomorrow or next month, but it will eventually be ok and we can get back to the things that bring us joy. Until then, feel your feelings, let those negative energies out, learn and grow from them. It will all be ok. ::hugs::

View Quoted Comment Same, girl!!!! Everything was going sooooo smoooottthhhhh. So calm and happy and then BAM!! Pandemic!! 🤯🤯

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I just seriously LOL'ed at your comment. Ha! Thanks for making me laugh. I had the 5 stages of grief all at once today!