The Bachelor Party- strippers allowed?

My FH and I sat and discussed it. My point was very simple I didnt want him to go to a strip club as I felt it was disrespectful to me and a waste of money and that I knew he wouldnt be comfortable if it was the other way around and I went to one. He completely agreed said he had no intention of going to one (we only talked about cause the best man wanted him to go) and couldnt bare the thought of me going to one. We are both doing something different. He is going out going to paintball during the day then a big steak dinner at night. Ill be having some silly games at the hotel and then going out to a jazz club that night.

I don't see what the problem is. It's not like your FH is going to leave you on the night before your wedding for the stripper who gave him a lap dance. Lots of guys enjoy going to strip clubs but it doesn't mean they love you any less. You can't even touch the girls when they are dancing so there are no lines being crossed. I don't think its worth the fight. Have confidence in yourself. He loves you very much or else he wouldn't be marrying you. A little trip to the strip club isn't going to hurt anything.

'What's the point of stripclubs? What's the point in seeing naked women, when you won't get laid anyway?' My FH's words, not mine...

Jamie, it's funny that you say that because my best friends husband cheated on her the night before the wedding with a stripper. My fiance would never do something like that, but I think that using the bachelor party to oogle breasts one more time is ridiculous. There are lots of men who go to Bachelor parties to bond and hangout with their male friends. I'm sorry, but when he asked me to marry him he should have been saying "I want to be with you, only, forever" not "I want a lap dance from a stripper."

First of all, I would HIGHLY recommend that if at all possible you talk to him about having it earlier than the night before the wedding! I would like my FH to have his about two weeks before.... this gives time for getting over hangovers and any bitterness about strippers! I'm not gonna lie I'm not really happy about him going to a strip club but he really wants to-- probably because for him it wouldn't be a bachelor party if it didn't have strippers. Ask yourself one simple question: do you trust him? Yeah none of us like the idea of someone rubbing up on our men but like a PP said, the men aren't allowed to reciporicate anything. Plus-- what state are you in? I know that in MD the girls aren't allowed to be naked but in some southern states there's fully nudity. I would just sit down and have a talk with him about how it makes you feel-- but I wouldn't give him "rules". When you do that guys are more likely to get upset with you and break them. Good luck-- he chose to MARRY YOU!

Let him have his Fling before the ring? Thats how the ladies word it! Just trust your man & don't think about what he's doing. My FH don't like strip clubs, but his best man his brother does. So guess what? He's going & he's going to have a blast while I sit at home. Our parties are different days. When he gets home Ima show him why he's marrying me.(taste fully) Lol. It's one night of fun before he spends the rest of his life with you.

Definitely talk to him about how you feel about it, like Aussiebride did. If you really do trust him, then perhaps the issue is about your feelings, not his possible actions. Definitely don't give him an ultimatum! That is not the way to start off a marriage. Would you want him telling you what you should or shouldn't do at your bachelorette party? Probably not. But if he told you something bothered him and why, you would listen, right? Give him the same consideration. And don't worry, if he does go to a strip club, he may just find out that it's not all it's cracked up to be! As for the party itself -- Not-A-Bridezilla said it perfectly! Consider having the bachelor party (and the bachelorette, if you're having one) a week or two before the wedding. Trust me, you'll be SO busy that last week and that last night, you will appreciate having a more relaxed time of it. Tell him you'd like to savor your last single night together, like a date.

Let him have fun. My FH can have it if he wants, but he do no his limitation. He said that he is really not into all of that and it is mainly for his groomens since they are single. And of course I will have some at mine. So as long as everyone have fun and do not cheap, sleep, etc with someone else I am fine by it. This is the reason why his parents did not get marry and he do not want that to happen to us. So I say let him, because he is marrying you and not no one else. And if it makes you feel better just tell him I do not mind but there can't be ................... during the night.

Plus you may can not stop him for having it because the groomens is throughing it for him, not the other way around.

It's all about TRUST. Let him do it...he might not even want a stripper dancing on him. My FI might be going to Baltimore Street with his fellas but I know that he knows he has the good stuff at home....so I'm gonna let him do it. Just get together with your girlfriends that night so that you aren't thinking about it. But I realize it's hard...better said then done!

Honestly, strip clubs aren't that bad. Yeah, you have that one person you know who's husband cheated with a stripper, but guess what? If they cheated with a stripper, they were going to cheat at some point in the marriage, and being at a strip club was not going to change that. Like pp said...you can't touch the strippers. They are so heavily guarded that one touch gets you thrown out on your butt very quickly! And since he's never been, he's only going to get more and more curious. I say let him get it out of his system now. A bit of advice should he go though...DO NOT do it the night before the wedding! I have seen some strip clubs where they find out there is a bachelor in the crowd and the girls get him up on stage and beat him with belts and stuff...you don't want to see those on your wedding night. Better yet, make a compromise...he can go, as long as he does not have that done to him!

My FH didn't really understand my thoughts towards strippers, which I don't care if he goes and see's and what, as we have gone together as a couple and he has gone with friends. The only thing I told him I didn't like was lap dances. Because the only naked woman body that should be touching him, is mine. I'm fine with him going and watching them do their little dance and what not. I just told him that if he thinks he should get lap dances, then I should be able to give lap dances to any hot guy in the bar that would want one, because it is the same thing. (He didn't like that idea.. LOL) I would just explain to him why it makes you uncomfortable, like, you feel that his buddies will pressure him into doing stupid things, or he'll feel the need to do absolutley anything because it's his last night of 'freedom' which doesn't make sense because some guys don't ever step foot in a strip club until their bach. party. Why start now?

I told my FH that I didn't want him going to one because I don't want him to have any other girl rubbing up on him. Then I asked him how he'd feel if I went to one and he completely understood. He told me that they'll probably end up going to play paintball.

He should respect your feelings, period. I agree with you completely - it's not worth the fight for one evening of naked women. My fiance doesn't want me going to a club and rubbing myself on other guys and I don't want him getting a lap dance by a naked girl that he's not about to marry. End of story.

I think you should sit down in a neutral place and have a good conversation about it. Explain why you are uncomfortable with it and make sure you both understand where you're coming from. Think about the big picture and see if you can come to an agreement together. I agree that when the roles are reversed many guys aren't so keen about their ladies going out to strip clubs or giving lap dances or doing pole dances with other men. Mostly it should be about respecting each other.

He can see stripers because I plan to have one at my party....its all entertainmeent. If he wanted a stripper or any other woman I wouldnt be wearing his ring or getting his last name. Thats how I look at it. There is no way to control a mans actions and if he wants to do something he would do it just trust that he loves and respects you enough no too.

Based on both of our faith we are not at all doing anything of the sort. We are planning on having our parties like a month in advance. We are planning basically a half a day for ours. We are going to go to lasertron and have it be the bridesmaides against groomsmen and then we are going off our seperate ways. He is having a barbeque with his guys and we are going to do something haven't decided yet. Neither of us believe in doing anything of the sort as far as strippers go. His Best man was talking about it but my FH is not for it. I think you need to talk to your FH and let him know how you feel about it.

I also don't really understand the problem. We &/or He & friends go to the strip club more than we go to the regular bar, it's Entertainment, mine doesn't do lapdances or go up to the stage, just drinks and watches from the table. Having said that I agree with others that it's a trust issue, either you trust your guy or you don't, the stripper has nothing to do with it, he could just as easily get hit on by some drunken girl at a regular bar. I've actually seen girls behave much worse there than a strip club. I definately would talk him out of the night before the wedding tho. Hangovers suck. Mine tells me all the time that he never thinks about crossing any lines b/c I show that I trust him. Why would he mess up the good thing he's got at home over something stupid like a lapdance?

I'm kind of with I don't really care if he goes to a strip club or even has a house party with a Stripper, I have a friend that used to dance and I have nothing aginst them or their line of work. I know he doesn't really want a stripper but if they have one I honestly will not care because I trust him 150%.

However if you really feel strongly about this sit down and let him know how you feel about it. Don't fight or yell or threaten just calmly talk about it.

I think you do need to talk to him though. For me it was never an issue of trust I have no doubt my FH would never cheat on me I know I mean the world to him but im not comfortable with strippers. I just dont think I want any girl rubbing themselves over him. He doesnt want any guy being all over me either. His best man was trying to pressure him to going to a strip club because he couldnt for his wedding. My FH wanted a guys day with friends going out hunting or camping or something but has decided on paintball. Sometimes its the groomsmen that want that and I think the bachelor party should be what the groom wants. If FH had truly wanted to go I wouldnt of stopped him or let it effect us but he knew how I felt and said he felt the same about the idea of me having a stripper. We made the decision together to not have strippers at either party and we've never regretted it. Strippers havent even been brought up again.