The bachelorette party from hell....advice?!

Hi! My “best” friend and roommate from undergrad is getting married October 2019. Her sis planned a destination bachelorette party (6 hour drive) which was this past weekend. She booked it and we paid in September 2018, almost a year before the trip. Soon after booking, I realized I would be taking the bar exam the week of the bachelorette and that it would be a (very) stressful week. Because I was committed to go and I couldn’t change either event, I still planned to do my best and attend the bachelorette. The bar exam is an extremely difficult exam and requires 3 days, 6 hours each day of testing in my jurisdiction and I studied 60 hours per week this summer. I let MOH know three weeks out that I was extremely stressed and was worried I would have to cancel. She flips out “this is a once in a lifetime event and this will CRUSH ‘bride’”....this is obviously nothing I didn’t already know and I was still trying my best to be there I just thought a heads up was appropriate. MOH just added unneeded pressure to my already bar exam stressed self. A couple of days later I talked to Bride, hoping to smooth things over. Bride said “it’s okay if you have a freak out from stress while we’re on the trip, I will do anything in my power to have you there and I will be very upset if you don’t come.” Exactly what I was trying to avoid is having a panic attack on the trip, I’d prefer to have it in the comfort of my own home haha. Since she gave me no other choice, I said ok I’ll go.

As soon as I finish the bar exam the day before the departure, my parents call me and tell me that my grandma has been hospitalized and it’s not looking good and they didn’t think I should go. I call the bride and tell her exactly this. All bride says in a “screw you” tone is “I wish you the best.” Nothing about my situation..... So I don’t go. My grandmother dies Saturday morning and it’s been a stressful weekend so obviously I made the right decision.

I posted an Instagram story going to a concert with my boyfriend that night he took me to try to cheer me up bc at this point I’m upset over brides reaction, the bar exam, and my grandma’s passing. The girls at the party (that I don’t even know) start trolling me. The bride responds to my story “wait what????” Sorry I didn’t ask her approval before I went to a concert that’s walking distance from my apt. As the day went on bride sent me several rude messages and also posted an Instagram captioned “thanks to my above average friends who attended!” Keep in mind, I still paid for her part and my part of this trip and never asked for a penny back!!!!! I do not want to be in the upcoming wedding anymore as I feel like bride and her other friends have mistreated me and I don’t want to engage with this type of behavior. Really sucks because we’ve been friends for almost 10 years, and obviously dropping out of someone’s wedding is dramatic. Thoughts?????