The big walk to the altar

My opinion is that, although I am sure your FH has good intentions, it is not his place to make this decision for you. YOU are the only one that should be making this decision. You can always have both of them walk you, or have one walk and give the other the dance. Your FH just needs to get on board with that.

I feel like if your FH insists on someone walking you down the aisle he needs to be more open to what you’re comfortable with. I think both of them walking you be a good idea, assuming there isn’t bad blood and they won’t cause a scene, or doing half and half would work too. Maybe try to explain to FH that you’re trying to work this out the best you can and he may need to cave a little on this one. It’s a big moment and you need to feel confident and happy with who walks you down the aisle, not second guessing or wishing you did it differently since you won’t get another chance to do this. I hope you guys can come to a solution ❤️😊

View Quoted Comment

I agree. It seems like you want your DAD only to walk you down the aisle and after reading your story, I agree. Stick to your guns. Your dad will be walking you down the aisle, so I don't understand why your FH thinks that is going against tradition.

Agree with pp. This is one of the parts of the wedding that you solely get to decide. Choose your DAD, because that's what you want, or walk alone because that's what you picture most.

That is NOT his choice. Yours and yours alone. The fact that he is trying to push that choice on you throws up a red flag.

you could chose to walk with the mailman and that should be okay with him, because that moment is yours.

Yes to all of the above. YOU, and you alone, get to choose who walks you down the aisle.

I think it's up to you on who walks you down the aisle. Why is it such a big issue with him of who walks you down the aisle? Just because he's met and likes your bio-dad doesn't mean you feel close enough to him for him to walk you down the aisle alone. How would it make your DAD feel - the one who has been by your side since birth? You have choices at least!

Bio-Dad only

DAD only

Bio and DAD together

Neither - walk alone

It is not your FH place to insist on this. Who walks you down the aisle is your decision & has nothing to do with who your FH thinks is “a cool dude”. I would have an issue with my FH insisting on me doing something that has little to do with him, after I explained that I am uncomfortable with it. Does he care more about silly tradition than your feelings?

Both should walk you down the isle or the one that raised you. On this I believe this is your choice not his.

View Quoted Comment I agree completely with this.

This talk is not as simple as MIL or MOB wanting something. This is the groom/fh that is making this request, and his opinion matters too. It's not as easy as saying it's my wedding i want what i want. Ultimately it is your decision, but out of respect for your fh this is something you should talk to him about to get him to understand. That while tradition is the birth father, that traditions change with the times. That tradition was made long ago when people didn't get divorced or have children out of wedlock. This is the time for new traditions, to help build your family. He needs to understand how important both men are, that you want then both to be part of your special day, and that this decision is one that will linger for the rest of your lives. Choosing one over the other could lead to long term resentment. Getting married is suppose to join families, not tear them apart.

So I think whoever you can dad you walk with. Its your choice not his. I am also getting married June 2020! I have a stepdad who I have introduced as my dad and called my dad since the beginning. My parents got divorced when I was very young and my mom and my stepdad have been married for 16 years now. My bio father had been in and out of my life for a very long time and has a whole other family and pretty much doesn't care about me unless he feels like he wants to at that point in time. My FH and I have been together for over 10 years and he has only met bio father maybe 5 times. FH "did the right thing" as tradition goes and asked bio father and stepdad (and mom ) if he could marry me but I will not walk with bio dad down the aisle. Actually he is'int even invited to the wedding. Harsh I know but I have not talked to him in over a year now and the only reason it hasnt been more then a year is because he reached out to ask what my brothers phone number was (eye roll) then never answered my texts back. At this point I have tried so many times and am over it. I am walking with my stepDAD and that's that. I've also considered having FFIL walk me from the barn to the aisle where I will meet my stepdad (because he has also been like a dad to me for the last 10 years and he has no daughters, kinda want to give him somewhat of that experience) but not sure yet.

Walk with your dad or by yourself, that's going to make your day the happiest.

Hi! I completely understand. I suggest you walk with both fathers. This honors your husband’s wish and resoects your DAD

Walk with both.
Walk with one.
It is your choice and no one else gets to pick. Including fiance.

Could they both walk you down the isle? I think that would be great, but it’s your choice!!

I think you should have the nonbiological dad walk you and have a discussion with your fiancé about how you feel it would be disrespectful not to have him do it and most importantly that you are not comfortable with your biological father doing it. It will be a tough convo to have but I think it is for the best

This is your decision to make, not your future husband's. You stay out of things between him and his parents, brothers, or sisters, unless they are seriously threatening or causing problems to you. And He stays out of your relationship with with your Dad, mom, any step parent and brothers and sisters, unless they are doing serious wrong to you. Now, and when you are married, each of you must respect the fact that you control only joint things as a couple, and many areas will belong to one, not both, of you. And the other shows their respect by not insisting on controlling the other or steam rollering over the others rightful decisions. And 😊 you marry at an ALTAR. ( that is not where one of you is " altered", which for males usually means when their testicles are cut off.) Easy to remember when you think of it that way. 😊

Fiancé needs to step BACK. This is a super personal decision that only YOU can make. He does not get to decide who fills the Dad roll in your heart and he does not get to force a non cookie cutter family into his cookie cutter image of how a wedding should be— it’s just not how life works.

Follow your heart. Sounds like to you maybe both or none is good. This is 100% your call to me.

for my wedding, it was super important to me to walk with both my parents (they both raised me they both deserve the honor, in my eyes). I told my FH that —didn’t “ask”!! He was super supportive.

1000% do not cave and do the thing your fiancé wants if it makes you uncomfortable.

Note: It is worth recognizing that bio dad is in your life now, and asking him to give one of the 2 minute speeches and toast to your lifelong happiness, at the beginning of your reception dinner. That is a joint choice.

I would do both dad's. I would have bio dad walk me in, to the step dad, and the step dad walk me up to the front. One signifies creating you and the signifies raising you.