The big walk to the altar

View Quoted Comment Tradition is, the bride was given away or escorts by the parent or uncles or brothers, with whom the bride resided last before marriage. Divorce and abandonment have always existed. She recognizes this man as the one who raised her, and with step parents or late adoptive ones, birth parents who willfully abandon a child at early childhood, have no rights later on. Only privileges that the teen or adult child wishes to grant them.

Thanks everyone, Its so hard because I know my FH means well. and like everything in this wedding planning I wont make decisions and Fh wont make any decisions without us both agreeing on the same thing and here i just feel like we hit a road block we hit. I really don't want to hurt either of these men who play a role in my life. Im thinking just inviting them both and I'll go the walk alone. I just might even skip the dance too to make it all right less stress less mess

too bad I'm getting married in a church.. Id have my dog walk me down the aisle in a bow tie and hat lmao

View Quoted Comment Traditionally women were given away by their birth father for a price/dowry because women were treated as property. Those that were conceived out of wedlock or abandoned were considered b@stard, and were not acknowledged by their birth father. I'm sorry i didn't feel the need to say all that to a future bride. I never argued that she doesn't recognize either man as her father, i simply gave her a little helpful info to bring up to her future husband that times have changed, and maybe an alternative to the situation. She has openly said that she has a relationship with both her biological father and the man she has known as her father. So I'm not seeing why you feel the need to reply negatively toward my comment. We should all be positive and helping. If there is something we don't agree with just move on and give your assistance in your own way. No need for the rude reply on my opinion.

View Quoted Comment

While yes, it is his wedding as well...this moment is not something he really gets a say in.

My husband would have loved for his dad to walked me in. I said no. That was the end of it.

If OP said he could ONLY walk in with his mother, but he wanted to walk in with both parents, how do you think we would be reacting? We would tell her that is not up to her.

Okay... no. your FH does not get to insist on who walks you down the isle.

This morning my FH (we were both very crouch because our elderly dog has been keeping us up every night this week) tried to tell me I should not move a table down stairs when we were in a hurry. I explained to him that I am an adult. if a decision I make does not effect him then he does not get to help make said decision.

Who walks YOU down the isle does not effect HIM.

Do not let him or anyone tell you what you should or should not do. Not in something that has no effect on him.

UGH seriously this is bothering me because how dare he decide who your dad is. That is what this is boiling down to.

Grouchy not crouch lol

View Quoted Comment Had you read my whole comment you would have seen that i said "ultimately it is your decision" i just suggested that she talk to him rather than say it's my moment and make him feel like his opinion doesn't matter. As I'm sure if fh wanted to walk down with someone she didn't agree with, she would want her opinion matter, and not have him say it's my moment I'll do what i want.
Once again no need to be rude on someone's opinion and comment. We should not be attacking each other.

View Quoted Comment

Yep. This. This is such a personal moment for any bride, and you should be able to choose whomever makes your heart smile to share this moment with!

View Quoted Comment

I did read your whole comment, I was not rude at all, nor did I attack you. I simply disagreed with a statement in your comment that you made.

It sounds like she has talked to her FH and he is not respecting her choice, but no matter what, she she talks about who she wants to walk her he should just say "okay." Because it is not his moment or choice. That is the point I was making.

I think your FH needs to respect your feelings. I get that he wants everything traditional. But is that really more important than the feelings of the woman he loves? Maybe he'll get it if you put it to him that way.

Besides, the "tradition" of father walking daughter down the aisle started way before people were married multiple times, and kids had stepmoms, stepdads, etc. The "tradition" of today generally means the bride gets to decide who walks her, if there is more than one person who fits the bill. Just try to get FH to focus on your feelings.

View Quoted Comment But the point of these forums is to give our own opinions of the subject. You gave your opinion and that was fine. I then gave mine, you choosing to reply to my comment in a negative way comes across as rude to me. We aren't going to always agree with other people, but why not just let the ones that we don't agree with have their opinion and the ones you do agree with you can reply to in a positive way. Because right now it just seems like you are trying to tell me my that my comment is wrong, yours is right, and that i shouldn't give my help even though that's how i feel.

Fawn i want to personally apologize for arguing with people on your subject. However you choose to take care of this situation, i hope it's best for you and your fh. Good luck with you wedding!!!

View Quoted Comment

Yes the point is to give opinions, and I am disagreeing with you about a VERY tiny part of what you said. We are allowed to do that. People will not agree with you and will quote you. It's been done to me. I don't feel the need to be defensive or upset about it. None of this is done out of malice.

It's YOUR decision to make, end of story. This is about your relationship between both of these men and no one can tell you differently. I myself am having the man that raised me walk me down the aisle. I had always had a good relationship with by biological dad until these last few years... but my step-dad has always been there, even when my dad wasn't. My biological dad is invited to the wedding only because I don't think I can live with the guilt of not inviting him. And I know it's going to hurt my dad seeing Darrin walk me down the aisle and dance with me at my reception. I have support from my entire family on this decision, but they recognize that it is MY decision to make and it is their job to support that decision. So I say, do what YOU feel is right and everything will be ok. It's a hard decision but it sounds like you already have it made. You're just listening to everyone else's opinions on a matter that isn't their business. Let the man you call Dad give you away if that's what your heart wants. It will be a special moment for the both of you. And your fiance thinking your bio-dad is "cool" does not justify him giving you away. It is an earned honor and it sounds like another man is deserving of that moment. This decision should not affect your FH in any way, because at the end of the day, someone will be giving you away to your FH. Whoever you choose to do that is your choice alone.

View Quoted Comment

No issues here I appreciate every comment and opinion.

It shouldn't be about biological. I'm adopted, and my mother that raised me (my real mom) is going to walk me down the aisle (dad's passed away) not my biological mom, lol that would be awkward.

View Quoted Comment

Completely agree with this. I'm sure your FH has the best of intentions, but it really isn't his place to "insist" on anything with regards to this. It is your decision and your FH needs to support you whatever you decide.

Hello, how are you doing today

This is your decision to make, not DH’s.

Answer this question to yourself:

When the officiant asks “Who gives this woman to be married?”, who do you feel has the right to speak the answer “Her mother and I do.”? Is it the man who raised you? The man who biologicaly helped make you? Both? Or neither?
That is who should walk you.