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June2020
Dedicated June 2020

The big walk to the altar

June2020, on March 14, 2019 at 12:03 PM

Posted in Wedding Ceremony 44

I'm getting married June 2020... I will be 37 at that time Groom's first marriage My second marriage (However this is my first time getting to wear a dress, walking the aisle and having a reception ETC as my first marriage was a shame ... groom didn't even want to kiss me at the court house was more...

I'm getting married June 2020...

I will be 37 at that time

Groom's first marriage

My second marriage

(However this is my first time getting to wear a dress, walking the aisle and having a reception ETC as my first marriage was a shame ... groom didn't even want to kiss me at the court house was more of a control thing... I was a stupid teenager)

Groom wants to make his first and only marriage/wedding to be very traditional and give me everything that i missed out on the first time around .... Smiley heart

Upon discussion of the ceremony I ran into an issue that we both disagree on.....

He wants my Biological father to walk me down the aisle .... because he thinks he is a cool dude and met him multiple times

I want the man I called dad from the time i was born to walk me down the aisle. .. he has only met him once in person

Long story short my mom moved to another state when she was prego with me and married the man i called dad before i was born. I was not told my DAD was not my dad until i was about 10 years old after her and my DAD divorced ( devastation). I'm still his baby girl to this day.

Both men are in my life now.

My DAD is living in another state about to move back here to Michigan this year.

My biological father visits periodically but i still feel awkward around him after all these years. I do not call my biological father dad as i feel its disrespectful to my DAD. ( but he will introduce himself as my dad)

My kids call both of them PAPA- ( Insert first name)

Both men are referred to as my dad by family and friends depending on who know who.. often times my reply is which one? lol


My Fiance insist that my biological father walk me down the aisle only.

Honestly i'm not comfortable with that.

I feel it will hurt my Dads feelings. So i tried to suggest that both of them walk me down... that got shot down. I suggested one walk me half way and the other the second half.. that got shot down. now my mom wants to shoot both of them down and wants to walk me down herself because she raised me ... both me and fiance shot that one down..... its just a big issue i need help solving.... my next option is walking alone and honestly i can picture that more then anything,.... but finance insts its tradition and he wants my biological father to walk me


Opinions.....



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44 Comments

  • C
    Super December 2021
    Casey ·
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    I agree with others that this decision is yours and yours alone. I disagree with the "my day, my way" thinking and that the groom should have equal say but there are parts and pieces that are uniquely bride or grooms to decide. This is one of those. My advice is to talk to him. Let him know you appreciate his support and all he wants to give you, but ask that he please listen to your side. To invalidate your relationship with your dad is a slap in the face to every stepparent/adoptive parent/unconventional relationship in one swoop. Forcing you to do something you don't want is going to make you unhappy on your big day and lead to resentment- try and explain that to him. Explain that your dad is your dad regardless of biological or legalities (I made a post about my sister who is similarly not biologically/legally related.) No one gets to tell you who your family is.
    This is not just about the wedding but your relationship, let him know this man is your dad and you need him to understand and behave as such because he will be around after the wedding.
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  • June2020
    Dedicated June 2020
    June2020 ·
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    So I talked with my fiance about it really bothering me alot. He asked why I don't want my bio dad walking down the aisle with me and I said. Its really complicated and a very sensitive subject and I don't want to hurt either of their feelings choosing one over the other or making them feel any kind of awkwardness or privileged more then the other...I said what would you do .. he said Id choose dad... i said see this is what i mean.

    I said I decided I just want to walk it alone by myself is this going to be okay? He said if it makes you happy but why by yourself and I replied.... well being that i don't really need to be given away and Im not a Young girl anymore ...I'll give myself to you because im a strong and very independent woman and I do, do things by myself in all aspects of my life like you, I got a loner side of me Smiley smile He laughed I think this is the best way to deal with it Smiley smile

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  • Faith
    Dedicated April 2019
    Faith ·
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    To be honest with you, it's your parents why does your FH care who walks you down? If you want the man who you feel raised you to walk you down that's your choice. But.. if you really want him to be happy.. maybe your children could walk you down? Not sure if you had a place for them yet. Buts always an option.
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  • A
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
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    Just my two cents....the honor of giving you away, should go to your Dad.
    The one who has been there through thick and thin. The one that always had your back.

    It takes more than biology to make a parent a parent in my opinion.

    That being said, follow your heart. Do what is right for you.❤💐🌷👰🌸🌹
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